Fiance Violated (raped) at Party... What would you do?

[old pig]

Thats beyond bushable. There are absolutely no good intentions going on there. If you have another man up in MY shyt when Im not around, were done. shyt looks bad either way, how would the women acting like that would be ok feel if they were the ones outta town and their man had women and alcohol in their spot? If you wouldnt be cool with them doing it, you shouldnt be doing it.

ya for some reason I looked @ it as them still living separately and she had coworkers up in her spot...if they live together tho her bringing dudes over is a major violation

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

Lmao @ this false equivalency.

First of all, the girl in this scenario didn’t just invite her girlfriends over and they happened to bring there SOs. She explicitly invited over male coworkers after her fiancé told her not to (he shouldn’t have even had to tell her not to, but that’s a different convo).

Second of all, the stakes are very different for males and females being left alone with the opposite sex and this example illustrates just that. The risk of cheating may be the same for both males and females but the risk of being assaulted is significantly higher for the female.

Feminists can’t have it both ways. They can’t be constantly warning how toxic men are everywhere and then turn around and act like a male fiancé is wrong for treating the allowance of men at a private house party against his wishes as a very serious offense.

Stop mansplaining

 

[CinnaSlim]

Look, I don't trust people in general. I don't want men around my women if they aren't family. I understand that me wanting to fukk her meant these other dudes want to do it too.

Thanks for the book. Gives perspective. If I'm committed to her, she does the same thing. She doesn't need to be getting drunk around other dudes that wanna fukk her. I've bushed women for far less. Having dudes in my house?

She didn't get drunk tho. She got roofied. It's possible to drink responsibly.

I get it. I just disagree that what she did is worth the responses Im seeing here. She made one mistake. It's her house too. Why shouldnt she be able to have people over when her fiance isnt around to have a problem. I think the reason he was uncomfortable was a him problem - insecurity.

Im definitely coming from a different perspective because knowing myself. I can party or socialize without getting drunk. It couldve been a dinner party. It couldve been just wine and a movie.

Women go out and have fun and men approach them everyday. We're skillful in saying no and turning down advances which is why certain men resort to drugging people. I would think there's something more to why he was distrustful in the first place.

 

[Dwayne_Taylor]

Story doesn't make sense. If it was consensual then why even tell her husband or police?

 

[NaijaProdigy Redux]

This wasn't the first time she threw a party with guys around while her man was away

 

[Rack4K]

I would be on her side in all legal proceedings but I would leave her ass too.

At best, she's a defiant liar who didn't listen when told not to have men over. At worse she's a liar and a cheater. In all cases, she's not someone I would stay with.

 

[CinnaSlim]

You make some good points, but ultimately every person and relationship has its own levels of trust and boundaries.

Was it reasonable for him to say for her not to have a party while he was gone? It's hard to say. Was he being a jealous player hater or was there some history in the relationship that prompted his distrust? Given that she ignored his request, and then did some suspect shyt regarding the rape, I'm going with the latter

ESPECIALLY if this was a group of people the dude doesn't know or never met. It's one thing to party with mutual friends but again, if not, then that's another level of trust violation

In your opinion where does the relationship go from here? If she didn't get raped I still wouldn't fault the dude for calling the engagement off. With the rape it's complicated with no logical way forward. A relationship can only endure so much turmoil

Whether or not someone wants to be in a relationship with someone is very personal and has multiple factors so that's completely up to the individual.

The main thing Im seeing in people's responses is not understanding what it's like to be a victim of assault, especially female.

We know there was blood and pain. Signs of forceful intercourse.
We know her fiance has weapons and would want to retaliate. Telling him where the guy is is unnecessary. OP says "where" not "who". She doesn't need to add more drama with her husband catching a case.

Most assaults happen with people you know, people close to you. Being raped in an alley by a stranger is actually rare in comparison.

She was drugged and raped. She was unable to consent, unable to stop it. She was violated on multiple levels. And if it was a coworker she would still have to deal with this shyt everyday at work. People who are compassionate and those who arent. People will blame her like theyre doing in this thread but she will blame herself most which is why most women just want to forget about it and end up dropping charges for some semblance of peace.

If her fiance who is committed to her,isnt able to be compassionate in that situation. God bless the poor girl. They are both gonna have trust issues.

 

[NoMorePie]

Never would have happened if she had just listened

Showed her disloyalty before the marriage even started .

Dump the damn girl and grab your popcorn so you can watch peacefully at the sight of her begging to come crawling back to ya.

 

[MajesticLion]

She explicitly invited over male coworkers after her fiancé told her not to (he shouldn’t have even had to tell her not to, but that’s a different convo).

That alone is the biggest red flag in the entire fable.

 

[FLATOP]

I cant imagine a single reason to have random nikkas I do not know at my house

Yall really be throwing party parties where anyone just comes over?

Id kick that trifling woman out

 

[sanityovar8ted]

I'm sorry.

I can't imagine what you witnessed.

I do know that she's fine with not bringing the guy to justice....that makes me believe that she is suspect, and there's more to the story.

I wasnt raped petsay but i was roofied....i made a thread i think n me exposing him had horrible results he ended up shooting 2 people....it was summer of 2017

 

[Devilinurear]

fukk kind of women are you dating where you have to tell them not to throw parties?

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Bet she wishes she didn’t invite those men.

Why would a married woman invite men over anyway? That's like me inviting women over and being married. I mean for what?

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

Why would a married woman invite men over anyway? That's like me inviting women over and being married. I mean for what?

This part. Women swear you are being disrespectful when all you simply are doing is asking them to be respectful of your situation. It falls under the category feminists have termed 'mansplaining'.

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I wonder why would she bring up she was raped though. Unless ole dude found out males were invited all up in his house, why lie about being raped? She could've said only women were there and left it at that.