Fiance Violated (raped) at Party... What would you do?

[REdefinition]

Here we go. I know we're "HOH" on here and forgiveness and working through shyt is foreign, but yeah, its not the worst thing in the world to acknowledge somebody fukked up, be upset about it, hold them accountable, etc and give them a chance to redeem it. The rape shyt aside, In this weird ass fictitious scenario, if I my fiance was going out of town and I wanted to have a party with my friends, but she tells me no girls and my boys show up with girls anyway, I would hope that wouldn't be enough to cancel a marriage. It is what it is.

 

[Paradise]

Yikes... This is a hard one.

 

[You Win Perfect]

how long it take you to come up with this sick rape fantasy story

 

[MaxPain]

bytch lying.

Dump her.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Nobody is saying believe the woman...

Can I get some perspective

@CinnaSlim
@Paradise
@sanityovar8ted

Stay and help. If he proposed to her and committed to her then why not?

Now, if he asked her not to have males over because he didn't trust her in the first place, the relationship is already doomed.

I cant really think of another reason to say it's ok for females to party there but not males. If she wanted to cheat, she wouldve cheated in the house, out of the house, with a coworker or someone else. Cheaters cheat.

It seems like she wanted to have her coworkers/friends over and since her place was free, why not? He's away.

I think it was a small mistake/decision that had severe consequences. In a marriage, I've seen bigger lies. It's not her fault that she got roofied and raped. It couldve happened anyway. Ex. If she went out to dinner or a bar with coworkers.

I kinda think he's being selfish when looking at the big picture. Does she have a history of lying and doing things behind his back? Because this feels minor.

Edit: Sorry. Didnt mean to write a whole book.

 

[old pig]

She invited me over after being told not to
To drink
And she wont tell who the rapist is?
Im guessing the male fiancee found out some sus shyt was going down at his crib and this is her story to save face

yep...this is the part in bold that would have me not trust her...it’s bad enough she showed bad judgment when inviting dudes over the house after her BF asked her not to for her own safety but I don’t think that alone would be enough for me to drop her immediately even tho I’d hold it in mind but now you want to “protect” the dude too... @ that point (on top of everything else) it’s beyond clear that I can’t trust her

 

[old pig]

Damn, zero empathy in here. Lets be reality, thecoli expects this chick to be a liar from the jump so you won't see too many replies acknowledging even the possibility of this being true. I would have to do some investigating. As much as I could, but the party itself isn't reason enough to end a whole engagement. Why would she even bring any of this up to the husband at all if it was a consensual fling?

I'm not saying it’s absolutely the case here...but I’ve heard chics straight up lie and say they were sexually assaulted to “absolve” themselves of blame for cheating on their man...straight up 1000% beyond a shadow of a doubt cheating but they’re afraid their man will leave or in some instances even go so far as to beat them for cheating...so it is possible this woman could be lying for the same reason

 

[CinnaSlim]

@Mechatronic 2.1

OP literally states that she's not sayong who because she doesnt want her fiance to catch a case on top of the trauma or rape.

Secondly, it's her crib too.

Lastly, it was a party. It was co ed. Someone should speak to the other party goers.

 

[Luck]

Not even a question, get your ring back and can her ass. You don’t invite anybody I specifically said not to, in a house I’m paying for especially for a late party and a bunch of hard legs...

Her work husband just became her real one

and how this story is bullshyt because why would the other coworkers just leave them alone if it wasn’t consensual...? If she was roofied then someone would’ve noticed and even if not, all the female coworkers just leave them two there alone

If she went to the hospital they should have been able 2 tell if she was roofied or not unless they were out of her system. Consensual sex shouldn't leave blood in the toilet n pain n the genital area....y she wont tell who the violator is is questionable...i dont want 2 say dont believe her but she not giving enuf 2 believe and ive been on both sides of the fence

sometimes women do bleed during sex, have seen this myself several times to the point where one chick went to gyno and they basically said as long as it wasn’t a reoccurring thing then it wasn’t any big deal.

If dude nuts in her and she pushes it out in the toilet

 

[MidniteJay]

didn't think about it this way but u are right


Women are crafty

That's what got me in this whole story. Air tight scenario. Only quick way out is to be a complete savage. If you want to look like a good guy you're fukked.

 

[ALonelyDad]

I would support her for a bit but then drop her after, wouldn't want to drop someone immediately especially if she was violated

 

[Cynic]

1. Male fiance is out of town. Female Fiance wants to have a party with friends from work.

2. Male fiance requests that no males be in house while away (even coworkers).

3. Female fiance has males over along with females with drinks and have party anyways.

4. Female fiance says that she was roofied and was raped by male party attendant, when she woke up with blood in toilet and pain in genital area.

5. Male fiance comes back immediately hearing this and female fiance doesn't let male fiance know where violator is... she called the police and made a police report and did a rape kit. Male party member claims innocence. Says consensual. Female fiance knows that male will catch a case because they have weapons.


The Fiance asked should he leave... or stay to help and forgive female fiance.....

He says that he wants to kill the person that did this... but he has doubts that his fiance was loyal. Is the fact that she lied about men being over enough to leave her hanging... or should he be there to help her through her ordeal getting raped...if she was indeed. She was really mentally distressed.


What would you do?

Don't get or promise marriage .......


#GMB wins every single time

 

[Eternally Jaded]

Stay and help. If he proposed to her and committed to her then why not?

Now, if he asked her not to have males over because he didn't trust her in the first place, the relationship is already doomed.

I cant really think of another reason to say it's ok for females to party there but not males. If she wanted to cheat, she wouldve cheated in the house, out of the house, with a coworker or someone else. Cheaters cheat.

It seems like she wanted to have her coworkers/friends over and since her place was free, why not? He's away.

I think it was a small mistake/decision that had severe consequences. In a marriage, I've seen bigger lies. It's not her fault that she got roofied and raped. It couldve happened anyway. Ex. If she went out to dinner or a bar with coworkers.

I kinda think he's being selfish when looking at the big picture. Does she have a history of lying and doing things behind his back? Because this feels minor.

Edit: Sorry. Didnt mean to write a whole book.

I don't think it's a matter of trusting her or not, it's just the atmosphere of liquor and men and women who know each other mixing is one best avoided, especially when people are missing, ie boyfriends/husbands and girlfriends/wives.

Too many times shyt gets murky, especially if it's someone most of your day is spent with.
He saw it coming potentially, and said no.

She did it anyways and look where they are now.
It might not be everything but it's a bright red flag.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

I would have told her to move out before i got back.

How it happened isn't my goddamn problem. Rape or no rape...

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

If she would of listened to me in the first place, she wouldn't be in the position she in now.

That's the problem, broads don't wanna listen. Also she gotta go anyway, having a bunch of dudes up in my crib when I told her ass not too.