Holiday Ether...

[NotAnFBIagent]

My girl's mom caught them strays last Thanksgiving cuz she tried to leave the house with 30-50% of the leftovers. I was told by moms that I may have went over board cuz I told my girls mom that just cuz she stay in a homeless shelter (it ain't one, but damn near close enough) don't mean we finna feed a bunch of they asses. In my defense, don't fukk with my food

Damn u an a$$hole breh

 

[Elle Driver]

You know how people are, just saving face....

She just wanted to come for you.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

My girl's mom caught them strays last Thanksgiving cuz she tried to leave the house with 30-50% of the leftovers. I was told by moms that I may have went over board cuz I told my girls mom that just cuz she stay in a homeless shelter (it ain't one, but damn near close enough) don't mean we finna feed a bunch of they asses. In my defense, don't fukk with my food

the disrespect

 

[Serious]

She just wanted to come for you.

My grandma take shots at everyone though. She be asking inappropriate questions at inappropriate times about shyt she doesn't really care about...

 

[The M.I.C.]

At least you got hair

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

At least you got hair

You bald breh

 

[Elle Driver]

My grandma take shots at everyone though. She be asking inappropriate questions at inappropriate times about shyt she doesn't really care about...

Aint that everybody grandma?

 

[Obreh Winfrey]

Aint that everybody grandma?

That's everybody once they hit 50. My dad wants to be on some antagonistic shyt all the time and cause problems.

 

[The M.I.C.]

My grandma take shots at everyone though. She be asking inappropriate questions at inappropriate times about shyt she doesn't really care about...

My loud ass lewd aunt does this too..she likes to catch me off balance with random "South Park" like commentary but I've gotten good with firing back.

Brought my girl over Thursday and her first remark when she saw her was "It looks like that nikka ain't firing blanks no more y'all, look like that right hand done gone into retirement.". My girl looking at me like I got shot in the fukking gut and shyt. Then I told my aunt that you seem jealous of my lady since the last time you probably saw a dikk was when Jesus fed the five thousand, ancient nikka.

We went back and forth for a good hour till we got tired of each other.

 

[Stir Fry]

My story:

I am talking to my parents on speaker phone on Thanksgiving and they are talking about when they met almost 30 years ago.


Me: Yea daddy was cheesing all hard at you
Dad (step): Yep
Mom: How do you know?
Me: You told me.
Mom: Oh he thought you were so cute
Me: He was not thinking about me. He was looking at you.
Mom: Oh no he use to always tell me how cute you were
Me: Oh he was like "Your lightbulb head daughter is cute."
Dad: Haha
Me: Hahaha
Mom:
Dad and I: *quiet*
Mom:
Me:really mom?
Mom:



Why did she start crying because she was laughing so hard?

For years this women denied my large baby head but that joke opened the flood gates. My momma thinks I had an alien baby head ya'll. I wanna go back in time and not make that joke. I miss the lie.

PS It's been 3 days and I brought it up and she still laughs like it's the first time she heard the joke.

Damn, Gina

 

[The M.I.C.]

You bald breh

Hold on...why you me?

 

[Geek Nasty]

Went back to Baltimore for the first time in a long time and some of the ratchet members of the family showed up at my aunt's new house. Brehs were casing the place, going all up in rooms they weren't supposed to be in, going through people's stuff, opening up boxes she had in storage and shyt They're real religious and one cousin started shytting on church, she just said "i'm going to bed now, everybody got to go"

I kept going upstairs to make sure my shyt wasn't missing from my room, i see a cousin or something walking from the bedrooms with the

Had another aunt was like "I don't want to get married, if I moved back South I'd probably end up married. I don't have to worry about that because all the men around here aren't worth a damn." then started telling tales

Just about every time they started talking about this cousin or that, the story was like "He's doing better now, but he's still...<insert ratchet ass behavior>"

Baltimore too many many Ls for me this week

 

[Obreh Winfrey]

Hold on...why you me?

Even babies grow hair breh

 

[Serious]

My loud ass lewd aunt does this too..she likes to catch me off balance with random "South Park" like commentary but I've gotten good with firing back.

Brought my girl over Thursday and her first remark when she saw her was "It looks like that nikka ain't firing blanks no more y'all, look like that right hand done gone into retirement.". My girl looking at me like I got shot in the fukking gut and shyt. Then I told my aunt that you seem jealous of my lady since the last time you probably saw a dikk was when Jesus fed the five thousand, ancient nikka.

We went back and forth for a good hour till we got tired of each other.

abahahahaahahha

 

[The M.I.C.]

Even babies grow hair breh