I Got dumped for the first time in my life, what's the protocol?

Rawtid

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I wasn't mean to her or had an attitude. It was more of a "not now" situation. The rest was negligence on my part :yeshrug:
Son, you didn't call her on Christmas. That's "mean" to a woman, well to me anyway.
 

The Mad Titan

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:camby:her telling him she "has to see if the emotions come back" is just some leading on thing. don't get me wrong i don't doubt that she still has some type of feelings for TS but she's in her own confusion.

Beware of the bold. People do that a lot. :demonic:



:dahell:

She broke up with him because he neglected her. She doesn't have to feel bad about that, clearly she still cares for him even though she was being neglected. They need to speak again and there needs to be a hard yes or no answer. I do agree that there shouldn't be any stringing along or back and forth texting and talking if they choose to stay split up.
 

Jeepz

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Hit twice.
Breakup sex better than makeup sex.
 

Rawtid

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I agree with this, she's most likely staying in touch to make herself not feel bad about leaving. She probably chose to separate so she doesn't have the obligation of being in a relationship, but still doesn't want to push you into someone else's hands. To have her cake and eat it too.

Beware of the bold. People do that a lot. :demonic:
In regards to the bold, that's what I did, but I've prepared myself mentally if he finds someone else :manny: I deal with heartache like a champ and by champ I mean be bitter and curse men's existence. With that said I don't think it's fair to be in a relationship and unavailable with someone who doesn't want to be in one.
 

Akata Man Bromo

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Women want you to be confused, because in confusion you give them the benefit of the doubt.

What you do is block and delete her number, her email address, fb, twitter, Instagram. Kill the emotional connection and get on with your life.

Women want you to pin, and be confused and be their "friend"


Just remember when someone breaks up with you, your no longer valuable to them. Remmeber fresh prince? Your that signed Willie mays baseball that Ashley cleaned worthless .

There is nothing special about someone who spits you out like cold oatmeal
:banderas: #GMB shyt
 

MikelArteta

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Rawtid is a woman that what a woman would want even I'd they don't want the guy fighting for her will validate that she meant something to him


If a woman walks away from me there's the door I won't contact again.


y'all saying the fact she's still contacting him means she cares. i might be cynical but i see it as her trying to make sure OP still cares.
 

DaddyTime

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:dahell:

She broke up with him because he neglected her. She doesn't have to feel bad about that, clearly she still cares for him even though she was being neglected. They need to speak again and there needs to be a hard yes or no answer. I do agree that there shouldn't be any stringing along or back and forth texting and talking if they choose to stay split up.
Neglect? :troll:

TS has to define "neglect." You do realize there are levels to the amount of attention people seek? :usure:

In some cases there is no limit to the amount of attention someone seek, while in others it's "you fukked up nikka, didn't put enough effort into a good one."

All in all though, she asked for space to come out of this confusion, give her what she asked for.
 

DaddyTime

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In regards to the bold, that's what I did, but I've prepared myself mentally if he finds someone else :manny: I deal with heartache like a champ and by champ I mean be bitter and curse men's existence. With that said I don't think it's fair to be in a relationship and unavailable with someone who doesn't want to be in one.
:salute:to your honesty. i KNOW people do this. i got the ":dahell:" a couple posts ago for stating that this is most likely one reason she initiated this break up.
 

karim

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:camby:her telling him she "has to see if the emotions come back" is just some leading on thing. don't get me wrong i don't doubt that she still has some type of feelings for TS but she's in her own confusion.


I agree with this, she's most likely staying in touch to make herself not feel bad about leaving. She probably chose to separate so she doesn't have the obligation of being in a relationship, but still doesn't want to push you into someone else's hands. To have her cake and eat it too.

Beware of the bold. People do that a lot. :demonic:
her exact words were "please don't chase after me, that never works.", which is weird, because she knows i'm not the type to do that.
This.

Truth is once you break up with someone, if only for a second, it's like trying to unscramble an egg. shyts fukked.

Yall cool though so be cool with her. Be her friend if that's what you want. Be respectful, don't talk about other chicks, unless that's the path she wants to take it, but stay doing you no matter what.

I don't know if she is a manipulative person in general but using a break up as a way to extract some sort of behavior out of you is very manipulative.

If that's what you get the sense she is doing, I'd just leave her alone completely. It'd be nothing but trouble. Never trust people comfortable with using deep emotions as a mean to an end.
she's not a manipulative person. on the other hand, i think a rough patch of three or four weeks is rather fast to completely withdraw emotionally, especially given the circumstances. anyways, i don't believe in building a relationship purely on emotions. you need them to start a relationship, but when you decide to stay together, you need to stick shyt out. she knows i'm a good guy, she knows i didn't cheat and she knows i went through a lot. i apologized and told her i would try to make it up to her and be more attentive in the future. if she doesn't want to work on things because the spark is gone, i'm not sure this is a relationship worth fighting for :manny:
 

Rawtid

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:salute:to your honesty. i KNOW people do this. i got the ":dahell:" a couple posts ago for stating that this is most likely one reason she initiated this break up.
She probably really likes the OP but from what he posted, he fukking up emotionally. Probably said to herself "he will miss me when I'm gone". The only thing with us women is that we don't know how to make a nikka miss us properly. Breaking up with him and then texting him right after surely after isn't the move. Break up with him and get ghost.
 

DaddyTime

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if she doesn't want to work on things because the spark is gone, i'm not sure this is a relationship worth fighting for :manny:
I wouldn't allow anyone to tell me the "spark is gone" and still remain speaking to them as if you re-spark that shyt... :rudy:

Nah, know your value. You did her no injustice. You having a busy life at this point is just that, you handling your business and doing right by her morally caused the "spark to die?" If anything, your absence while handling your business would make a worth while partner miss you more IMHO.

She probably really likes the OP but from what he posted, he fukking up emotionally. Probably said to herself "he will miss me when I'm gone". The only thing with us women is that we don't know how to make a nikka miss us properly. Breaking up with him and then texting him right after surely after isn't the move. Break up with him and get ghost.
Going ghost wouldn't work on an independent man. A relationship should comprise of two whole independent people anyway, which in this society, it hardly happens that way.
They were in a long distance relationship, she knew what she was getting into. I doubt that she would hit this man up and he'd ignore her so this neglect stuff is perceptive.
 
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old_timer

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this is not a topic that gets a favorable reaction at thecoli.com
but we all get dumped or dropped from time to time:ld:

first, i would firmly decide in my mind that it is over
i wouldn't worry if you were at fault, or if she lacked patience with your predicaments
it's just over- she wasnt the right person at the right place and time
the relationship ran its course, no bitterness, etc.
:ufdup:this might take time- fake it until you really feel that way

next, unfinished business-
do you have some of her stuff? does she have your stuff??
i've done 3 types of exchanges-
1. face to face in public
2. take/leave at one person's backdoor
3. through the mail
i ask for my stuff once, but then let it go:manny:
worse case scenario i mail her stuff and just eat any possessions i lost

a final conversation??
my women are found through social circles, and real life activities, and places i frequent
i can't merely block/delete a woman from my life:mjlol:
therefore, sometimes a final talk is helpful depending on the situation/seriousness
i have apologized for being neglectful and acknowledged she was right to move on
the last talk is definitely not the time to argue:beli:
this is to repair your reputation, not leave hard feelings or make her angry
should be 3-5 minutes AT MOST (in phone or in person)

sometimes i combine the above (stuff exchange and conversation) into a single meeting
i don't do final talk via texts or emails- too risky
:lupe: finally, move on- if she keeps contacting you (3+ times)??
say that you don't disrepect new girlfriends by being friends with all ex's
clearly tell her you can't be in regular contact like friends
you can see her when you see her (bump into each other in public) but otherwise we need to keep it moving
if there's anything we need to discuss, you can email me at a certain address

one final thought- i don't share new information or life updates with ex's:usure:
even when i see them at a party or whatever, i just do social niceties and listen (if anything)
 

MikelArteta

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Goatganda the pearl of Africa
Women think that works?

With experience as a man you will always be one step ahead of a woman


She probably really likes the OP but from what he posted, he fukking up emotionally. Probably said to herself "he will miss me when I'm gone". The only thing with us women is that we don't know how to make a nikka miss us properly. Breaking up with him and then texting him right after surely after isn't the move. Break up with him and get ghost.
 
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