"I hate my Autistic brother and wish he was dead"

[Formerly Black Trash]

Yea, I know they're in completly different categories, but it's what I think about when having children even cross my mind. It wouldn't be the end of the world if my child was short or gay, but it wouldn't be what I envisioned.

Most ppls kids probably end up disappointing them in one way or another

 

[RadaMillz]

I have an autistic kid in my family. He has daily melt downs can't speak and no diss he got less cognitive skills than some animals.

He will never be independent. I'm not quick to judge whoever made that post. At least they didn't dump him in a group home like all these other kids I see in that boat

Yup, my cousin (21) is like that, his no different than inanimate object except his a walking trouble and violent, mentally he just exists, physically his like a bull in a china shop. My aunt has never had a day off and it took a huge toll on the rest of the family. This is why I do not fault the kid having those feelings. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

 

[RadaMillz]

The dude is 20.


He can move out.


lol.



Or is it not that simple?

His dad passed away, it would be cruel to abandon his mom and leave her behind with him.
It's not always black and white

 

[KidJSoul]

I’m sure many people with mentally challenged siblings feel this way but it’s taboo to be honest about it.

plus, his anger is misdirected. He should be mad at his parents, not his brother. They clearly handled this badly.

People that aint in that persons shoes and saying what they feel is invalid aint shyt. I can only imagine what it would be like to have your entire life focus around that situation and you basically have no life and your parents basically had you as a third parent.

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

I don't know how to phrase it properly -- my friend's brother is also autistic, and is also prone to violent episodes on a near daily basis. He was in a care home, but his family felt they were neglecting him, so they've been taking care of him for maybe 3 or 4 years now.

I've never met his brother, and I actually don't think I've been over to his home since his brother has moved in. He doesn't talk about it very much, but he does tell me stories from time to time. Oftentimes, he mentions that his brother is quite strong, and it takes a lot of effort to restrain him between himself, his stepfather and two siblings.

He has also explained that to sort of work with people on the spectrum, you have to analyze their behavior, and why they're doing what they're doing. He told me there's like 4 or 5 main drivers -- attention seeking, escape, stimulation, or seeking a tangible good/reward. So, for example, if he wants a candy bar and he's not given it, he'll start punching holes in walls.

Understanding the behavior is important, because caretakers need to understand what they're potentially rewarding, and the consequences of doing so.

I definitely feel sympathy for the writer. Taking care of others is not easy. At least with the terminally ill, you know it won't be your whole life.

 

[Sauce Dab]

Wanting him dead is far but I see where he coming from. He didn’t ask to be born in this situation and neither did his brother, it’s unfortunate. He in his early 20’s and ain’t had no life of his own because he was a 3rd parent. Taking care of somebody who can’t look after themselves is tough as fukk, they require 24 hour supervision. His anger placed on the wrong person but I understand it

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

When they are violent there's very little you can do for them. My family that's autistic need someone in the washroom everytime he goes. Son might never take an independent shyt in his life. That's a lot of work for the mother. And he will probably be big. His father was a rugby player. Tantrums from the moment he gets up everyday. Care 24-7. It's a lot

Yeah I have a friend who manages a group home. He said some of the clients have both parents in their life and financially well off. But still choose for their children to live there. Depending on how bad the condition is sometimes death is a better option for the disabled person . I know damn well if I got in a accident and lost all my motor skills and brain activity I wouldn’t want to live and be a burden on my loved ones

 

[xiceman191]

Not constantly being the focus of attention because your sibling is severely disabled and requires more constitutes as “neglect” to you?

What the fukk is he blaming and wishing death on his brother for? If anything, that’s solely on his parents. Yes. It’s selfish and entitlement. You muthafukkas can not be serious.




THIS

There is a difference between wanting to be the center of attention and not be completely ignored. Its easy to call shyt entitled when you ain't dealing with the shyt. Just because one of the children is disabled doesn't mean the needs of the other children are less important and they can be ignored. Is it extreme that he wishes death on his brother? Yea it is extreme cause in the end his brother can't help it that he was diagnosed with autism. Is his anger directed at the wrong person? Yea but I can understand why the poster directs it to his brother. You ain't had to deal with the shyt the poster is going through so its easy to just sit there and say he is wrong for feeling the way he does. I would rather him vent online than actually do some actual crazy shyt.

 

[dizzy4111]

The dude is 20.


He can move out.


lol.



Or is it not that simple?

he/she is moved out. Mom wants them to come home and help take care of the brother. Meanwhile they just want to live a normal life for the first time ever.

 

[KingFreeman]

Delete

 

[FlyGuy]

Put his ass in a house and call it a day

I work taking care of these people, some who were abandoned by family

I rather hang with this population than with the typically abled

 

[Grifter]

He could kill himself.

 

[KingFreeman]

My brother is autistic but not as severe as his brother

But enough to be a problem and noticeable

I don't hate my brother, but I've had dark feelings

I think those feelings are valid
You grow up dealing with shyt that most other ppl can't relate to
I watched my mom struggle and go into overtime trying to get my brother the care he needs
I definitely feel as if I was neglected

Society as a whole does not care about mentally impaired ppl, or the ppl who have to deal with them
You're basically on an island by yourself


And if dude feels that extreme about it he probably shouldn't be taking care of his sibling

Much respect. I lucked out and my moms was a teacher who went on to get a masters in special education, so really the only thing that could have made us more prepared for my brother was if our parents didn't divorce, and we were very wealthy or something.

Since I was young I vowed to make sure my offspring live as comfortably as possible. Maybe there will be some wonder treatment for people on the spectrum.

 

[NZA]

this guy should know that autism isnt really diagnosed until around 2 or 3 years at the earliest, so his parents didnt knowingly conceive him while struggling with an already autistic child. my nephew is autistic and totally nonverbal. he was a normal baby until one day he just stopped making eye contact. his diagnosis was at 3.

anyway, his feelings are valid. i have seen the impact my nephew has had on my niece. she isnt really hitting certain milestones that other girls her age hit in terms of boyfriends or even getting a drivers license. i think having a brother who cant talk will completely define how everyone in the house lives and it left her tethered to him during her formative years. she does, however, have a much more positive disposition than this guy who wrote this post.

dude needs counseling to help him accept his lot in life better than this. he also needs to have a talk with his parents. im sure his parents want a shot at having grandkids, so they need to be told how having to care so much for his brother is hindering his ability to live a full life. his parents failed, but there is no manual for raising autistic kids, so their failure probably wasnt malicious. he just needs to step up now and take control of his life but in a humane way that doesnt completely pull the rug out from under his brother abruptly.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

OP didn't ask if he wanted to be here to take care of him forever

well the OP says he hates the brother and wishes he was dead and calls him an autistic a$$hole. it doesn't merely say he hates taking care of his brother. he made it personal with that part instead of keeping it circumstantial

his bytch ass can easily just say no i'm not gonna take care of him or move out of the house.

 

[cobra]

Certain disabilities won't be caught until after birth.

nope
there are entire European countries that have eliminated autism through abortion
Why Down syndrome in Iceland has almost disappeared - CBS News