I have schizophrenia and depression AMA

[Citi Trends]

Kind of a venting thread, kind of not.

Im just in a certain mood and feeling kind of alone and like people dont understand. And I would like it if people did, especially for other black people.

So if you any questions about these illnesses or my life im open to answering them if it helps inform anyone.

To be more clear I have what is called Schizoaffective disorder. It's basically schizophrenia with depression, mania or both. Mine more often falls on the depressive side.

Edit: I should probably add I have childhood trauma that adds to my distrust of other people and relationships. I dont really want to get into that, but the main thing is more than likely what you're thinking

 

[Capitol]

Most people dont know a damn thing about the world or themselves. Dont let people label you

 

[Fenian]

Do you here voices or see things? If so what do they look/sound like and is it scary?

 

[NotAnFBIagent]

What do the voices in your head say?

 

[Citi Trends]

Do you here voices or see things? If so what do they look/sound like and is it scary?

I personally dont hear or see things. Mine manifests more in delusions and escapism into my own mind and voice.
Think of as literally trying to battle your own brain and that frustration overtaking you because you dont know how to calm it down. it is scary because i feel no way out

I have ideas and shyt that pop up and tell me to hate people, hate myself, and my mind just races all the time.

As fukked up as it sounds sometimes i wish i did atleast hear things because it'd be easier to explain i guess. But nah, I've been in hospitals with people who suffer that and its terrible.

 

[mortuus est]

anyone else in your family suffer with the same thing?

why do you feel vlone?

 

[King Poetic]

Did you get treated by a professional doctor who determined u have schizophrenia and depression

 

[Citi Trends]

anyone else in your family suffer with the same thing?

why do you feel vlone?

My grandfather had it, i assume thats where i got it from. he did terrible things to my mom and grandma. Turning out like that is my biggest fear in life.

I feel alone because i feel no understands or wants to put up with me. Due to my illness I just come off completely emotionless and I dont like getting close to people because i dont want to be abandoned.

 

[ShaneTheRogue]

My homegirl is too. Do you have trouble sleeping? It ain't shyt for her to stay up 2-3 days straight.

 

[Citi Trends]

Did you get treated by a professional doctor who determined u have schizophrenia and depression

About 5 years ago I had a breakdown. Was in an institution for a week. And I was in a 6 hour a day group therapy program for about 2 or 3 months.

They determined it yeah, but i feel they gave me the wrong medication and gave no shyts about me.

 

[Citi Trends]

My homegirl is too. Do you have trouble sleeping? It ain't shyt for her to stay up 2-3 days straight.

fukk yes.

I have a legitimate fear of sleeping. If i think too much it just reminds me of death and im terrified of that and i'll just stay up until my body or mind or whatever gives out.

 

[Fenian]

I personally dont hear or see things. Mine manifests more in delusions and escapism into my own mind and voice.
Think of as literally trying to battle your own brain and that frustration overtaking you because you dont know how to calm it down. it is scary because i feel no way out

I have ideas and shyt that pop up and tell me to hate people, hate myself, and my mind just races all the time.

As fukked up as it sounds sometimes i wish i did atleast hear things because it'd be easier to explain i guess. But nah, I've been in hospitals with people who suffer that and its terrible.

Damn sorry to hear that mate, my dad is a nurse in a psychiatric ward and works with people that suffer with delusions, sounds fukked up, not knowing what's real and what isn't.

 

[Citi Trends]

Damn sorry to hear that mate, my dad is a nurse in a psychiatric ward and works with people that suffer with delusions, sounds fukked up, not knowing what's real and what isn't.

Yeah it sucks, because i legitimately dont know how i should feel about certain things and people.The smallest mistake makes me question everything about myself and spiral out of control.

Or sometimes there will just be an event that I assume happened but never happened.

so i just stay to myself

 

[Capitol]

This is my advice to you. Dont let these labels drag you down and dont get attached to them. Dont screen every thought you have. Its completely okay to ignore a thought you had. Its completely okay to ignore something you percieve as being weird or something that isnt what you want to express or feel and you have the power of going the other direction. Always. When you have positive ideas use them. In fact get in touch with that feeling and learn to trust it more.

Get more sun. Look into a holistic lifestyle. Meditate. Do yoga. Use your creative outlets. Slowly but surely peel away at this shell and overcome it

Also look into cell salts and possibly doing a body cleanse or detox. My mood changed tremendously when I first did a fast. Again when I did a master clean. And when I did a colon cleanse I had a couple moments where old emotions and scars came to the surface and made their way out. What is labeled as schizophrenia could literally just be one of your organs being clogged or as they say in other cultures your lines of energy simply being off

 

[Spiritual Stratocaster]

Is it affecting your ability to work?

You might be eligible for SSDI

I filed an application..I'm on medication for schizophrenia and depression(bipolar).