I have schizophrenia and depression AMA

[Spiritual Stratocaster]

Damn sorry to hear that mate, my dad is a nurse in a psychiatric ward and works with people that suffer with delusions, sounds fukked up, not knowing what's real and what isn't.

I legit thought and still think God was giving people the power to read my mind...fukk I was being trolled and tormented everywhere I went now everyone telling me it was the devil fukking with my mind..I was arrested twice in 3days because I thought God was telling me to do some shyt

 

[Citi Trends]

Is it affecting your ability to work?

You might be eligible for SSDI

I filed an application..I'm on medication for schizophrenia and depression(bipolar).

Yeah. Sometimes I just cant make it through work or even go in.

I've been thinking about applying, but it's just like...are my family and everyone around me gonna think of me as some kind of weak failure. I know im not but it's just what comes over me.
So i just keep trying to push, but yeah I am one or two more days missed from losing my job.

Being around alot of people just makes me anxious and depressed as hell. Being an amazon warehouse job doesnt help. Im also not taking medication at the moment, i need to be, but i have other problems with that.
Also i dont have the money for it right now

 

[Citi Trends]

I legit thought and still think God was giving people the power to read my mind...fukk I was being trolled and tormented everywhere I went now everyone telling me it was the devil fukking with my mind..I was arrested twice in 3days because I thought God was telling me to do some shyt

Presence - "Milo these people dont give a damn about you. No one gives a damn about you. You dont even care about you. You're nothing and nothing matters. Call me the devil or whatever, but im telling the truth and you know it"

Me - " I mean yeah I feel like that too

Presence - "Hurt yourself. Let them see the scars. Kill yourself, let them know you dont need them"

Me - "Ok "

 

[Capitol]

I had to bush the meds I was on. Im probably only here to post this because I did. First of all I noticed that it made me extremely docile and the only thing I really cared about was my personal hygiene. Okay my mind wasnt going 200 miles per hour put going at 5 damn sure isnt better nor is it the answer.
When I wasnt having visions of egyptians deities I would often envision where ever I was going to go was going to be where I died. I remember going to a lake and before getting there all I could think about was me being at the bottom of it. If anyone would save me. If I would even let them.

But @milobased or anyone else. If you really want to talk pm me.

 

[Citi Trends]

I had to bush the meds I was on. Im probably only here to post this because I did. First of all I noticed that it made me extremely docile and the only thing I really cared about was my personal hygiene. Okay my mind wasnt going 200 miles per hour put going at 5 damn sure isnt better nor is it the answer.
When I wasnt having visions of egyptians deities I would often envision where ever I was going to go was going to be where I died. I remember going to a lake and before getting there all I could think about was me being at the bottom of it. If anyone would save me. If I would even let them.

But @milobased or anyone else. If you really want to talk pm me.

I feel you. They gave me risperadal and something else and it turned me into a zombie. I took a bunch of them and tried to kill myself.

My distrust of medication stems from that because i feel like its just "not me" in way. Living the way i do is terrible, but...its me and its what I know.
I dont understand anything else. I just dont grasp basic life and interaction.

I'll hit you up later

 

[StarClout]

What’s the difference between a 4.0 and a 4.6?

 

[Vandelay]

Stay away from drugs. Please.

I've had a few doctors and therapists tell me I am manic depressive and bipolar, and they want me to take medicine for it. I refuse.

Physical activity...maintain some connection with friends, family, and a lover if you have one...don't isolate yourself and get high.. you'll drift off into some crazy thoughts. When you're well, maintain a grasp on what's real and normal. Hold on to that when you're slipping away, and use whatever coping strategies you've developed.

I legit can't function at work some days because my mind is a wasteland...and it's crazy because I have a job where I need to think critically...so do what you need to maintain that isn't drug related.

It's always a struggle...I realize it's similar to addiction...it never goes away, you just learn to cope better.

Watch the movie, A Beautiful Mind if you don't know what I'm talking about.

 

[Canada Goose]

I have schizophrenia and depression as well OP. I take two Zoloft pills, and one Burpropion pill for my anxiety and depression, and Haloperidol for the schizophrenia, its a miserable existence but I manage.

 

[Citi Trends]

Stay away from drugs. Please.

I've had a few doctors and therapists tell me I am manic depressive and bipolar, and they want me to take medicine for it. I refuse.

Physical activity...maintain some connection with friends, family, and a lover if you have one...don't isolate yourself and get high.. you'll drift off into some crazy thoughts. When you're well, maintain a grasp on what's real and normal. Hold on to that when you're slipping away, and use whatever coping strategies you've developed.

I legit can't function at work some days because my mind is a wasteland...and it's crazy because I have a job where I need to think critically...so do what you need to maintain that isn't drug related.

It's always a struggle...I realize it's similar to addiction...it never goes away, you just learn to cope better.

Watch the movie, A Beautiful Mind if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I understand what you mean.

Im not on meds at the moment, but I do abuse alcohol and other substances from time to time.

I was clean for the most part before a certain event recently, since then i've just been spiraling out and dont know how to calm my mind.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

just come off completely emotionless and I dont like getting close to people because i dont want to be abandoned.

That’s how I feel most days; that lack of emotion. I think we just build up these walls because of the negatives or stereotypes associated with lowered mental health - the rejection we feel because no one can understand the struggle and people are not generally sympathetic to mental disorders. Also we get used to the emotional neglect. Rather than even try anymore, we withdraw into our own minds and shut down emotionally as a way of protecting ourselves.

This is brave of you to come forward like this. Not many people like to even admit that they have a problem; but the fact that you openly admit and seek out solutions, treatment and can find the ability to cope is a sign of strength to me. Thanks for posting this.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Prove you're black.

Idiot ... this is the one time where I will say to that, what the fukkk does that have to do with anything?

 

[Canada Goose]

Is it affecting your ability to work?

You might be eligible for SSDI

I filed an application..I'm on medication for schizophrenia and depression(bipolar).

I receive SSI due to my anxiety, depression and schizophrenia..

 

[Citi Trends]

That’s how I feel most days; that lack of emotion. I think we just build up these walls because of the negatives or stereotypes associated with lowered mental health - the rejection we feel because no one can understand the struggle and people are not generally sympathetic to mental disorders. Also we get used to the emotional neglect. Rather than even try anymore, we withdraw into our own minds and shut down emotionally as a way of protecting ourselves.

This is brave of you to come forward like this. Not many people like to even admit that they have a problem; but the fact that you openly admit and seek out solutions, treatment and can find the ability to cope is a sign of strength to me. Thanks for posting this.

Thanks for understanding.

It's a cycle. I dont show any emotion and people get upset with me, then I do and people dont know how to deal with it so they say get over it or leave so it starts again.

So i just just retreat to my mind and imagination. Thats been my coping since I was a kid. Music helps, but for me it became a way to live outside of myself.

I would just like people to understand those around them.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

dont know how to calm my mind.

When I get like that and feel the mental stress, I just read something - anything that interests you in a positive way. It forces me to concentrate on something else and divert my attention. Of course it doesn’t make the problems go away but it helps me to decompress so that I can get my head together and clear my mind. Also with the mental clutter, it helps to prioritize - Like what to deal with first that is the most important and actually writing down a list, so I can visualize.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

I don't care about him if he's not my brethren.

I get it .. but damn. I could give less of a shyt about a cac but let op rock. I could see if he’s coming from a place of ignorance but mental health discussion is real shyt we deal with in our community.