I dont feel bad for dumb broads in these situations
"I stayed because I was embarrassed"
- Thread starter 86\*/98
- Start date
Yes, it’s actually pretty common. I had a cousin that was a sweet girl with a good heart that got sucked in by a smooth talking scumbag. He had a little cash and preyed on her young insecurities while her family kept trying to warn her about the high chances of him being trash.
She was on-off with him for years. She admitted that she felt so dumb going to her family for help when things started getting worse and everyone would rush to be like “I told you so” that it make her buckle down harder and try to make things work as if it prove those people wrong.
It happens.
She was on-off with him for years. She admitted that she felt so dumb going to her family for help when things started getting worse and everyone would rush to be like “I told you so” that it make her buckle down harder and try to make things work as if it prove those people wrong.
It happens.
Cynical Thoughts
All Star
Really?
So you should have sympathy for an abuser cause he obviously was raised in a house where he was/ witnessed abuse, right?
Should he recognize he has a problem and take the proper steps to correct it. Or be a victim of his childhood experiences well into his adult years and continue his incorrect behavior till it kills him or someone else?
After all he has no control.
SirShaktus
All Star
Wow...
Just... Wow.
Unless you've been in or experienced an abusive relationship (you can also use empathy to understand why a person would stay in an abusive relationship, but this is the Coli, so never mind), folks should try shutting the fukk up.
Ol "If it was me" asses....
Stop acting like an abuser in a relationship walked up to the abused person, punched them in the face and treated them like shyt from Day One and they happily went along with it.
Just... Wow.
Unless you've been in or experienced an abusive relationship (you can also use empathy to understand why a person would stay in an abusive relationship, but this is the Coli, so never mind), folks should try shutting the fukk up.
Ol "If it was me" asses....
Stop acting like an abuser in a relationship walked up to the abused person, punched them in the face and treated them like shyt from Day One and they happily went along with it.
no but i do have empathy for my abuser, actually. why you think i’m still with him? going through this hell? cause i care about him and an empathetic to his situation. even though deep down i know he won’t change. we’ve talked about this type of thing with each other, generational curses, our family dysfunction harming us, how his has harmed others etc
it’s not so black and white.
i didn’t realize i even had a codependency issue until i got into this relationship. or even realized why i was always attracting bad partners. or really know just how bad my child hood fukked me up until this relationship.
and i think it’s really obtuse on your end to compare the two.. the abuser and the abused. yes both have issues they need to change. they are actually two sides of the same coin, the empath/codependent and the narcissist/abuser. both people traumatized some way from child hood, one of them internalizes and becomes a empath, the other a sociopath/narcissist/abuser.
but the abused isn’t the one wreaking warfare in peoples lives. actually, empaths and codependents (the types of people most abusers seek out) have a bad habit of going over the line of taking responsibility, not just for themselves but other people to the point it’s detrimental to their well being. hence why abusers seek out these people to keep up theirs false self they’ve created and never have to be introspective and apology because the empath or codependent apologizes on their behalf.
it’s a really complex issue that all of you in this thread are trying to simplify rather than to understand psychologically what is actually going on in these relationships. there’s so many factors and it’s hard to put just how complex the issue is into words to get someone to really understand it.
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Antwon Mitchell
Banned
Soooo basically she's afraid of being victim blamed
?So she'd rather get beaten half to death just to challenge a preconceived perception?
The more time she stays in that abusive relationship people are gonna only question her mental health...
If you don't have self-preservation and self-worth to get out of a dangerous situation, then you can't be helped....
If your social circle's perception of you is more valuable than your life, then something is fundamentally broken in your brain....
All that smoke for me but nothing but well wishes for the nikka beating her ass.
Soooo basically she's afraid of being victim blamed
So she'd rather get beaten half to death just to challenge a preconceived perception?
The more time she stays in that abusive relationship people are gonna only question her mental health...
abuse changes your brain chemistry due to the intermittent reinforcement, trauma and constant fight or flight reaction. so you aren’t wrong on that but not for the right reasons.
which is why the topic should be about the actual issue at hand and discussing this is a manner that will actually be affective
most people don’t know the red flags or signs until they’ve already been in an abusive relationship
so instead of calling women roaches, dumb, claiming they love the abuse should the focus be on red flags to look out for? cause none the shyt OP is saying and many others in this thread is gonna help any PERSON, male or female to be discerning, observent when it comes to future dating partners
you know where i get advice on this topic? abuse forums online. from people who always been through it like myself because unless you’ve actually been through it, none of these things are on a persons radar or being discussed by people in an empathetic and helpful way other than people who’ve been abused.
I didn’t jump for joy because she died I just don’t feel bad for her. She never would’ve been in that situation if she chose better. But she didn’t choose better because she was trash too and there’s no way around that.
If someone dates a loser they’re a loser too.
Your baby mama ain’t shyt, neither are you.
Your man or ex is a fukk boy, then you were a fukk bytch at the time you were with him.
shyt is shyt.
And here we have it. Because I don’t care about some dummy winning a stupid prize I must be some kind of predator?
You 85%ers are doomed.
childhood trauma, values picked up from their family, observing how their parents react etc
most abusers can’t be fixed because they genuinely believe they are not the problem. sure they’ll admit to things like “i’m fukked up from my child hood” but when it comes to actually addressing their manipulation, desire for control and the mind games they play.. thats off limits to them. my abuser will cry all day begging for me to help him, pouring his heart out about being who he is.. but when it comes to addressing those other things, it’s impossible.
and studies show that most abusers actually get worse with therapy. especially if they’re in couples therapy. they manipulate therapists, use therapy to manipulate their spouse etc
once a person is to that point there’s really no helping them, the best we can do is raise caring, loving children and be that to them.
She realized she made a bad decision and decided to continue making bad decisions because family had previously told her she was making a bad decision?
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
You don't have the stone-cold, lead pipe sense to know when somebody else is treating you badly?!?
You'll "love" somebody so much that you'll let them love you to death??