If you marry a woman without her completing a 1 year probationary period consisting of...

[Diondon]

Yea that milk analogy kills me. In post-feminist 2013? Post sexual revolution? In "I can do anything a man can do" 2013. There's milk running through the streets.

Now, that you've been milked, what other tricks does a woman have to keep a dude from busting a few and bouncing?

Peace

I'm saying. The cow has been slaughtered the first night. It was roasted slowly and the milk sipped freely. What else do you bring to the table?

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

There's nothing wrong with personal time.
But anyone a person marries...you should WANT to spend as much time with them as possible.

Some people act like they can marry someone and see them 3 times a week.

It's more than personal time. Living with someone I'm not married to would be a burden that I didn't agree to carry Y'all are saying there's a difference between dating and living together...well there's an even bigger difference between being in a relationship and being married.

 

[mcdivit85]

I actually really liked @Rawtid 's response, and I'll piggy back off of it. To me, being in a marriage is a situation where there is a requirement of dependence. Being in a relationship doesn't carry that type of responsibility, but when you start living together there is pressure to duplicate that dependence and that is not a responsibility I want when I'm just getting to know you.

Not to butt in, but I think the premise is that this is someone that you're not "getting to know." This is someone that you've dated, fell in love with, wanted to be married to and have gotten engaged to. I don't think anyone is saying that you should move in with some dude you've been dating for three months. But maybe someone you've been dating for three years who's also your fiance and the man you want to spend your life with.

I can see both sides, but truthfully, I can't understand someone being totally against wanting to live with their fiance just because they're not married yet. So you're ok with the idea of being with this person forever but you're not willing to share an apartment to make sure that's the right decision? Or to save up money for that forever? I don't get it.

Peace

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

How many times a week you see your dude if you have one? I live separate from my fiance but it feels like we live together. She used to be over my house daily and sleep over, get dressed for work etc and vice versa. Now since the baby, im over there almost daily, sleep over we see each other often. She is the main one that wants to not move in until we married. She wants to maintain that independence and also uphold her virtues as a christian woman

Until you guys get married!

 

[Remote]

It's more than personal time. Living with someone I'm not married to would be a burden that I didn't agree to carry Y'all are saying there's a difference between dating and living together...well there's an even bigger difference between being in a relationship and being married.

If you choose not to live with someone before marriage, well, that's you.

 

[mcdivit85]

I know you're not talking to me but

If I lived with someone the expectation would be that it's an upgrade from my single person' living arrangement and possibly something I couldn't afford on my own so I would be depending on my spouses' income to make ends meet and I wouldn't put myself in that position for a guy I wasn't married to.

Even if I could afford the place on my own, let's say my boyfriend lost his job or even wanted to go back to school or something, I would not be willing to support him financially, not in the same way I would my husband. I'm a staunch believer in the combining of finances for the purpose of building wealth. I would not combine finances with someone I wasn't married to, so it'd be a roomate situation and I don't like roomates.

Living with someone is a HUGE instrusion on your privacy and I'm not giving that up for someone I'm not married to.

So you're privacy is more important than the person that you potentially want to spend the rest of your life? If that's the case, why even entertain the idea of marriage to someone you wouldn't even be willing to move in with? What would change about your need for privacy once its official? Wouldn't he still be an intrusion on your privacy? Or does he become a welcome encumbrance now that he's a husband instead of fiance?

I'm curious.

Peace

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

Not to butt in, but I think the premise is that this is someone that you're not "getting to know." This is someone that you've dated, fell in love with, wanted to be married to and have gotten engaged to. I don't think anyone is saying that you should move in with some dude you've been dating for three months. But maybe someone you've been dating for three years who's also your fiance and the man you want to spend your life with.

I can see both sides, but truthfully, I can't understand someone being totally against wanting to live with their fiance just because they're not married yet. So you're ok with the idea of being with this person forever but you're not willing to share an apartment to make sure that's the right decision? Or to save up money for that forever? I don't get it.

Peace

Why would I have to live with them to be sure I want to marry them? People were getting married millions of years without living together. Men and women living together before marriage is a VERY new phenomenon.

 

[Diondon]

It's more than personal time. Living with someone I'm not married to would be a burden that I didn't agree to carry Y'all are saying there's a difference between dating and living together...well there's an even bigger difference between being in a relationship and being married.

There is no difference between engaged and marriage except an expensive and irrelevant ceremony. If you're waiting on a magic switch to flip on and be like I'm married now, committment aint for you. I've seen nuff enaged broads cheat on their fiancees with this mindset.

 

[Nintendough]

It doesn't make sense to me to make that level of sacrifice for someone I'm not married to.

What logical man would marry a woman who doesn't sacrifice? This is how women lose so much. You go for that weak man who dances to your pace and demands nothing of you, so you label him a good man. Suddenly he decides he is done with you but dismisses you in a cowardly, weak way. Thats how you get in those "he started off good but he changed' scenarios. See but that true good man who demands of you is avoided because he is "unreasonable" aka is doing this his way with no pandering. Then that man ends up with a submissive woman(sometimes of a different culture which makes things interesting) and all is well. That man of course is false labeled a dog, sellout etc when a lot of these new women just suck at being women. They want to be rebellious man/woman hybrids(benefits of men and women but the work of neither) and it fails every time.


#factsoflife

 

[mcdivit85]

How many times a week you see your dude if you have one? I live separate from my fiance but it feels like we live together. She used to be over my house daily and sleep over, get dressed for work etc and vice versa. Now since the baby, im over there almost daily, sleep over we see each other often. She is the main one that wants to not move in until we married. She wants to maintain that independence and also uphold her virtues as a christian woman

Have a baby out of wedlock but still want to keep her Christian virtue? Seriously? No disrespect to your chick but that's some nikka Logic.

Peace

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

So you're privacy is more important than the person that you potentially want to spend the rest of your life? If that's the case, why even entertain the idea of marriage to someone you wouldn't even be willing to move in with? What would change about your need for privacy once its official? Wouldn't he still be an intrusion on your privacy? Or does he become a welcome encumbrance now that he's a husband instead of fiance?

I'm curious.

Peace

He becomes a welcome encumbrance now that he's my husband.

 

[Malik]

I agree with most of this

You left out the part where you need to make sure you're worthy of being submitted to though

I see too many dumb bum ass niccas talking about they want a woman to submit to them and they wonder why they get with the face

If you are a man about your shyt a woman will NATURALLY follow your lead. The onus is on YOU, not them fellas...GET YOUR shyt TOGETHER FIRST!

I digg the premise of the thread though

I hate when people say sh*t like this....

So what you saying breh...the hood bus driver making $27,000 a year don't deserve the big piece of chicken

The security guard at Macys can't get a ham sandwich and peace and quiet in his own house nikka

 

[LA Fisher]

I hate when people say sh*t like this....

So what you saying breh...the hood bus driver making $27,000 a year don't deserve the big piece of chicken

The security guard at Macys can't get a ham sandwich and peace and quiet in his own house nikka

Should a good hearted ugly man expect to not be cheated on?

 

[mcdivit85]

He becomes a welcome encumbrance now that he's my husband.

Wait, so your husband is an encumbrance? Again, why get married if you don't even want to be around the dude full time? If your privacy is more important that the man you're going to share a home with, share a bank account with, have children by and sleep in the same bed with, then why even go through the motions?

I'm not saying your privacy and alone time shouldn't be important but if its MORE important than your dude, then he aint your dude. He's just a walking dildo.

Peace

 

[Elle Driver]

Should a good hearted ugly man expect to not be cheated on?