If you marry a woman without her completing a 1 year probationary period consisting of...

[ShaneTheRogue]

Marriage to me means we agree to be legally recognized as a union with the purpose of building a stable foundation for ourselves and our family. Yes you can build wealth, live together, start businesses, have children and all that without being married but considering yourselves as one entity is not something that can be mentally done without marriage, imo.

As far as the "point" of it? That is going to depend on the person. Some people don't care nor want to considered a union. I just don't see the point of being in a relationship without marriage being the end game. Just dating and shacking up forever seems pointless. Why make the sacrifice?

Do you believe you can be a union without the law being involved? Do you date men with the intention that you may get married? What's your criteria for someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Also what sacrifice do you mean?

A lot of it has to do with legal benefits to be honest. There's a lot you would want to do with your partner (especially someone you have kids with) that you can't do because how the law views certain relationships.

Makes sense. I don't want kids myself so that's probably partially why I feel the way I do about marriage. But I'm young though so that might change.

 

[No_bammer_weed]

All that shyt is gravy and I wouldn't say what I said without studying feminism. I've read the leading feminist theorist Bell Hooks' book and a lot of it makes sense because she's not pointing the finger at all men for being responsible for the oppression of women, but a systemic capitalist problem. But what feminist theorists believe is completely different than what these women actually practice. Even Bell Hooks herself admits that women have taken feminism and made it predominantly about shaming and hating men. It's not even about challenging a system that is still denying them the rights they want. The white male and the dehumanizing properties of capitalism are the culprits not the average joe. But who gets the brunt of the hatred and frustration? The average man. Me as a man of color is not responsible for a woman's oppression. My point which you spun into something completely different is that we don't deserve to be hated. And for the reasons stated above, feminism practiced by women today is the WOAT.

You're smarter than this B. This idea that feminism is driven by some crude anti-male complex is completely invalid. You're taking the voices of the extreme minority, and making it representative of the whole. Your 'femin-nazi' rant is snatched right from the playbook of bigoted white men, and shares the same sort of social space of white racists who claim that black men who acknowledge and fight against inequality and racial bias in America "hate white people".

@Willstyles had a fine post here where he actually went to a feminist organized meeting, and the sort of anti-male rhetoric that is assumed powers feminism wasnt present at all. In fact he experienced the exact opposite, where black women were just as interested in empowering black males as themselves. The anti-feminist brigade around here blew past this, and still continue with their ridiculous and cartoonish constructions of what feminism entails.

 

[InDePickWest]

LOL @ a female running the house.

8/10 Black households are headed by females.

And dont bring up the 'and look at the state of the Black community' because we're trying our best.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

My mother told me not to cook for a man who doesnt provide for me. In the old days women used to cook for men because they were outside working to put food on the table for the family, you nikkas thats sitting on your ass can grab a can opener, a thing of tuna slab some mayo on a bun and call yourselves full.

BUT if the man is in fact..being a man, treating the woman right, and providing for her then yeah..the least she could do is cook for him ..not everynight but the majority.

Did your mother teach you to marry a man that doesnt provide for you? Or just not cook for one that doesnt provide for you. Does provide mean unless you're a housewife, dont cook for your man. Im sorry but i dont think thats what you're mother was trying to say, and if it was, shes wrong. What are you going to tell your children

*sorry, its spaghettios tonight, because your father only pays, HALF the bills* I doubt it seriously friend. Lets step away from our emotions and think with our minds because cooking for your family and having dinner time is teaching your children some very valuable lessons about family. Lets not have dinnertime where everyone goes to their rooms with a bowl of cereal for dinner.

No woman cooks every night. Thats what leftovers are for.

I hope you stop thinkin about yourself as you get older because you're attitude is going to bring you a lot of pain that could possibly numb you to creating stable relationships and kind of ease you over to the demonic realm. Lets be more selfless with our significant others. Thats the angelic thing to do, friend.

 

[Arishok]

Thank you. Relationships are a partnership. No one person is lesser than the other. These boys make a relationship/marriage sound like slavery..good luck finding a happy wife who stays faithful till the end with yall type of beliefs.

I wouldn't say slavery, I would say they're looking for a mother in their wife.

P.S. Not talking about any specific poster

 

[InDePickWest]

Did your mother teach you to marry a man that doesnt provide for you? Or just not cook for one that doesnt provide for you. Does provide mean unless you're a housewife, dont cook for your man. Im sorry but i dont think thats what you're mother was trying to say, and if it was, shes wrong. What are you going to tell your children

*sorry, its spaghettios tonight, because your father only pays, HALF the bills* I doubt it seriously friend. Lets step away from our emotions and think with our minds because cooking for your family and having dinner time is teaching your children some very valuable lessons about family. Lets not have dinnertime where everyone goes to their rooms with a bowl of cereal for dinner.

No woman cooks every night. Thats what leftovers are for.

I hope you stop thinkin about yourself as you get older because you're attitude is going to bring you a lot of pain that could possibly numb you to creating stable relationships and kind of ease you over to the demonic realm. Lets be more selfless with our significant others. Thats the angelic thing to do, friend.

I mean I skimmed through this but ok.
My guy will keep being him and I'll keep being me. Thats all I can tell ya.

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

You never really know someone until you live with them.

I don't agree.

 

[ebonykiss]

The thing I love about my mom and dad is their partnership. When my dad is working late, even if my mom just got off work and cleaned up the house, she would still cook for him. And in turn, my dad would cook for my mom on his days off when she was working late.

Thats like my parents

 

[Chris.B]

Because im religious and would probably fall into temptation and break my previous marital sex vow

Plus I would only marry a righteous African woman with values like mine

Good choice

I been with my wife for almost 5 years and shes never changed with all the cooking, the cleaning, the giving, and the loving. God has really blessed a friend. I see a lot of my friends have children and fall apart with their ladies in shorter time.

Your wife is not black.
I said you made a good decision

 

[Wild self]

8/10 Black households are headed by females.

And dont bring up the 'and look at the state of the Black community' because we're trying our best.

Looks @ the black dude that is mentally weak and gives in to superficial shyt and to gangs. Most of them came from single mother households. On top of the concept of wealth that is absent from these women,

 

[Mr. Somebody]

Your wife is not black.
I said you made a good decision

It had little to do with her race and more to do with her being a good person and obviously, there are good people of every race. Hopefully you find one that matches your preference.

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

Once you're exclusive with someone, you sacrifice. There is no way around it. The level of sacrifice and what you choose to sacrifice is going to vary depending on where you are in your relationship. Of course there is a difference between a fiance and a boyfriend and I wouldn't mind staying with my fiance for a few months and vice versa so we can see what it's like but actually sharing financial obligations and relinquishing my space is something I'd consider only for some I'm married to.

I feel like you've said this same thing like 10 times in this thread.

 

[InDePickWest]

I wouldn't say slavery, I would say they're looking for a mother in their wife.

P.S. Not talking about any specific poster

Yeah, maybe slavery is too harsh. Yours is alot more appropriate. I see this shyt play out in my own family. The boys were spoiled rotten and now no woman is good enough for him unless she does everything and more his mama did. All my Uncles are 40 and miserable and 5/6 of my Aunties are still married in what seems (you never know) like stable marriages where each contributes different things to the union.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

I mean I skimmed through this but ok.
My guy will keep being him and I'll keep being me. Thats all I can tell ya.

Stubborn women dont find husbands and the ones that do have trouble keeping them. Lets be better.

 

[Mike Ock]

The thing I love about my mom and dad is their partnership. When my dad is working late, even if my mom just got off work and cleaned up the house, she would still cook for him. And in turn, my dad would cook for my mom on his days off when she was working late.

I'm sure having kids probably just made it a routine and automatic thing for them. Who knows how it was between them before you or a sibling rolled outta ya mom.