im tired of always being a guys second or third choice

[TEH]

Just because I think a guy might be on my level physically doesn't mean he does and vice versa.


How do you know she's going after male dimes?

It could be regular guys that are making her feel this way.

In my experience when you don't date in your league you are setting yourself up for failure. Most people end up with more or less equally attractive people. The more attractive person may feel as if they could have done better - esp. when tough times in a relationship come. But it's a crap shoot she may win the lotto of someone above her league in looks but my advice to her is save your money and settle for what you know you can get and keep.

And attractiveness is objective to a large degree - how do you think casting and advertising works when choosing people to be in movies, TV shows and Ads.

Yes, guys in her own league could be bad for her as well - that's why date on your league wasn't my only advice. I said a lot in that post.

 

[Kwame]

Sir, why did you post this? Some things need to not be said.

 

[O.iatlhawksfan]

I've been there OP somebody gon appreciate Yu

 

[Action Mike]

Date men with specific similar interests. Date realistically - If you are a 6 or 7 date another 6 or 7. Don't sleep with them - make them fiend for you. Fix yourself up not in looks but in life - learn a language, learn a new skill, learn a new sport, try a new hobby. Be social - join a few new organizations. You go to an HBCU - are you in a sorority? Don't always be lost in the shuffle of your friends if / when you go out with them - hang in small groups 2 or max. 3 most guys are not going to approach a crowd. Make sure you look your best at all times. Upgrade your wardrobe if you need to do so. Make sure your hygiene game is impeccable. Be friendly but not too friendly. Be a bit mysterious and reveal yourself little at a time. Insist on respect or bounce.


^^^ Just generalizing since I don't know you - except what you said in the OP.

Agree. But not sleeping with a man doesn't make him fiend for you that's bs, if he is a man capable of options that card ain't shyt. The other stuff will intrigue him, and before you know it when he realises he needs you...your number 1.

 

[Queen]

If she is going after any guy, that is her problem right there.

You will end up as option 2, 3, 4, and 5 when you as a woman put yourself in the role of the pursuer. Your job is to give off signals that you are available and interested in being pursued.

 

[semtex]

In my experience when you don't date in your league you are setting yourself up for failure. Most people end up with more or less equally attractive people. The more attractive person may feel as if they could have done better - esp. when tough times in a relationship come. But it's a crap shoot she may win the lotto of someone above her league in looks but my advice to her is save your money and settle for what you know you can get and keep.

And attractiveness is objective to a large degree - how do you think casting and advertising works when choosing people to be in movies, TV shows and Ads.

Yes, guys in her own league could be bad for her as well - that's why date on your league wasn't my only advice. I said a lot in that post.

A dude that looks better than you could think a girl is an 8 that you think is a 6.

 

[West Coast Avenger]

So she should date guys she's not attracted to?

Attraction has to be mutual does it not?...she should find someone with similar interest and work on it from there....

 

[Aceofspades404]

here ya'll nikkas go again. Op isn't big at all, in fact she's the true definition of "thick". Ya'll stay provin the fact that you have no idea about women's bodies, especially black women.

 

[TEH]

Agree. But sleeping with a man doesn't make him fiend for you that's bs, if he is a man capable of options that card ain't shyt. The other stuff will intrigue him, and before you know it when he realises he needs you...your number 1.

Should have said - not right away - getting to know someone first is always great and it makes most men respect women more.

 

[BujuBoombastic]

Just focus on yourself and set your priorities if you want men to respect you. Don't take men serious. Let their actions do the talking not his words. Why don't you test certain men you're interested in to see where their mind is at.

He could show signs of being a player if you let him hit too quickly.

 

[Action Mike]

So she should date guys she's not attracted to?

Everyone knows deep down what they are capable of keeping.

 

[25YOUTHS!!]

5'9 189

That's overweight bordering on obese
I don't think losing a couple lbs will make guys take you any more serious tho...unless you're just looking for the pump and dump in which case the extra lbs are not as much of a factor imo.

What that personality looking like tho?

 

[Michael's Black Son]

i want men to take me seriously.

either way itll be a better position than i'm in now...

So what do you feel is behind you being chosen over? Do you have tons of issues across the board that you have a hard time fixing?

 

[LadySimone]

Lie to yourself brehettes. You know where you are are on that scale we all do. Or you could just let her go after male dimes and let her get her feelings hurt.

Whether it's a male dime or nickle if she don't get what she wants she will get hurt.

 

[The Mad Titan]

If she is going after any guy, that is her problem right there.

You will end up as option 2, 3, 4, and 5 when you as a woman put yourself in the role of the pursuer. Your job is to give off signals that you are available and interested in being pursued.

ehhh not all the time, sometimes you have to let "nice guys" heck regular guys know that you are blatantly interested in them otherwise they might never even realize it or you could just miss out. She can let em know she's interested and not chase them.