Incel/Femcel Solutions

Sonny Bonds

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Did you know his exact problem?
Every dude who struggle with women I can tell the problem off top.
He's not as social as he should be and he never goes for it. Like back in our early 20s, we worked retail and there was this chick that worked at the same store as we did. She liked him too, but he never asked her out or anything. He's in better shape than me. He helps his mom with yard work on the weekends and goes to church. He's also a little awkward, but not as much as I am (and I get laid).

Our friend group broke down as we got older. I hang out with him and another friend when I go back to visit my parents. We don't really do much when I visit though. It's the same stuff we did in high school. Go get food (usually fast foot or something like AppleBees) and hang out at the mall or see a movie. He doesn't seem to do much socially and they don't hang out together when I'm not in town.

Me and the other friend have talked about our friend's problem some times, like I said, "We failed him." And his younger sister used to bring up the issue too. He just doesn't do anything social, so he doesn't know any women. Not that he would make a move anyway.
 

semicko82

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He's not as social as he should be and he never goes for it. Like back in our early 20s, we worked retail and there was this chick that worked at the same store as we did. She liked him too, but he never asked her out or anything. He's in better shape than me. He helps his mom with yard work on the weekends and goes to church. He's also a little awkward, but not as much as I am (and I get laid).

Our friend group broke down as we got older. I hang out with him and another friend when I go back to visit my parents. We don't really do much when I visit though. It's the same stuff we did in high school. Go get food (usually fast foot or something like AppleBees) and hang out at the mall or see a movie. He doesn't seem to do much socially and they don't hang out together when I'm not in town.

Me and the other friend have talked about our friend's problem some times, like I said, "We failed him." And his younger sister used to bring up the issue too. He just doesn't do anything social, so he doesn't know any women. Not that he would make a move anyway.
Little awkward or a lot awkward? :mjlol:
I think the awkwardness might be his problem.
A little awkward is a lot for a female
 

Weaver31

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He's not as social as he should be and he never goes for it. Like back in our early 20s, we worked retail and there was this chick that worked at the same store as we did. She liked him too, but he never asked her out or anything. He's in better shape than me. He helps his mom with yard work on the weekends and goes to church. He's also a little awkward, but not as much as I am (and I get laid).

Our friend group broke down as we got older. I hang out with him and another friend when I go back to visit my parents. We don't really do much when I visit though. It's the same stuff we did in high school. Go get food (usually fast foot or something like AppleBees) and hang out at the mall or see a movie. He doesn't seem to do much socially and they don't hang out together when I'm not in town.

Me and the other friend have talked about our friend's problem some times, like I said, "We failed him." And his younger sister used to bring up the issue too. He just doesn't do anything social, so he doesn't know any women. Not that he would make a move anyway.
This is a main issue for folks who have issues meeting others...their social life is lacking. Its helpful to have multiple social circles as well as being open to meet new friends/associates. U gotta be in multiple social settings to get best or most prospects.

However, I know social butterflies and folks who are of the upper echelon and still have issues finding eligible partners. Its a lot of mediocre and ain't shyt people outchea too.
 

Mandarin Duck

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I have a white friend in Atlanta who's an incel. Back when we were working retail, he was once referred to as, "that guy who's scared of girls" by a female coworker. He isn't one of those angry dudes.

When I ask him about women he says, "I've pretty much given up on that stuff."

He makes good money at his government job, has a car, and even owns his own home. But when you don't take any shots, you can't win.

I don't live in Atlanta anymore, so I'm not around to try to help him.
The irony of our society today is a home owning man with a career needs "help" because he doesn't have a wife.

Meanwhile if he was a bum living on somebody's couch but getting p*ssy nobody would say he needs "help".
 

Bossino

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This is a main issue for folks who have issues meeting others...their social life is lacking. Its helpful to have multiple social circles as well as being open to meet new friends/associates. U gotta be in multiple social settings to get best or most prospects.

However, I know social butterflies and folks who are of the upper echelon and still have issues finding eligible partners. Its a lot of mediocre and ain't shyt people outchea too.

When I here this word I imagine the woman if she is such belongs to the same grouping as, I have a lot of male friends. Women who are social butterflies want spontaneity, experiences, and independence that doesn't appeal to homebody men nor focused men really so... There is issue is the inability to dial it back when their with a guy. Ironically they tend to get jealous when paired with a male social butterfly.

It was said earlier ITT but lowkey some people gotta die alone, and some choose it
:yeshrug:
 

Sonny Bonds

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Little awkward or a lot awkward? :mjlol:
I think the awkwardness might be his problem.
A little awkward is a lot for a female
The 3 of us go to a video game convention in Boston once a year. I'd actually rather take a non-nerd related trip, but I haven't sold them on the idea yet (and it's probably not happening next year anyway).

Instead of going out and having fun like normal people, we were back at the hotel by 9:30 pm.

One night, there was an EDM group playing at a club (in association with the convention). He didn't want to go because he's "not a club guy." I'm not a club guy, but I'll go for the experience. Like how club-like do you think an event attached to a video game convention would be anyway??

And on the topic of visiting me in NYC, "Sorry Sonny, I'm a country boy."
 
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Weaver31

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When I here this word I imagine the woman if she is such belongs to the same grouping as, I have a lot of male friends. Women who are social butterflies want spontaneity, experiences, and independence that doesn't appeal to homebody men nor focused men really so... There is issue is the inability to dial it back when their with a guy. Ironically they tend to get jealous when paired with a male social butterfly.

It was said earlier ITT but lowkey some people gotta die alone, and some choose it
:yeshrug:
U make some points but some women who are very social have tons of other female friends. But yes some homebody dudes would get tired of a woman like that who always have to be out. Usually getting married and having kids take a lot of one's time so she would do things for kids and have couple events.

Oh and yes 2 social butterflies can definitely clash especially if they need a lot of attention.
 

Bossino

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U make some points but some women who are very social have tons of other female friends. But yes some homebody dudes would get tired of a woman like that who always have to be out. Usually getting married and having kids take a lot of one's time so she would do things for kids and have couple events.

Oh and yes 2 social butterflies can definitely clash especially if they need a lot of attention.

Facts, but more accurately associates, if a bish down and out those types of "friends" tend to not want to hold it down.... Hence women with "friends" that still feel alone
 

Wiseborn

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Thanks. I've heard so many people refer to themselves as red pill without providing a definition. These people generally talk about not getting into relationships as well. That's why I asked. I think there is an important distinction to be made. If we talking being aware of human nature and being about your business as a man then I am all for it. If we are talking not settling down in a relationship ie the foundation of a family then I can't rock with that.
It depends on how you react to this knowledge for example if you focus on yourself and reach a level of success youll notice that women will come around. That makes some dudes resentful. Aka the "back then hoes didnt want how im hot and they're all on me".

It comes down to if you want to be a jerk about it or not.
 

CarmelBarbie

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:russ:As screwed up as our education system is, I don’t blame you for having skepticism.

But I think the lack of focus on social skills and character building is part of the reason why our schools suck. The curriculum has been stripped of any meaningful instruction or authentic learning experiences and replaced with kill and drill worksheets and testing to line the pockets of big businesses.
In the past, a lot of character lessons were embedded in our education. Literature and books studies were linked to moral issues, personality traits, decision making. We had character 101 classes and all of that was related to sex education, making good choices, how to interact with peers, the opposite sex, peer mediation. Our guidance counselors would do monthly lessons on being respectful to one another in facilitating relationships, understanding compromise and integrity in dealing with others. But a lot of those lessons were funded by grant based programs to facilitate socio-emotional learning. Now they don’t touch on ANY of that in schools at a time when kids are the MOST vulnerable in the digital age and decreased interaction with parents, and support systems.

These problems won’t go away because they are linked to larger social issues. When you have large numbers of unhappy youth, it doesn’t bode well for society because the infrastructures we take for granted are supported low-key by those individuals...
Or maybe I’m making too big of a deal out of this.:mjlol:


Yeah, the social anxieties these types experience transcend body types, although taking care of yourself can definitely help. Regardless, I’ve known dudes who get in shape and get money and STILL can’t make a meaningful connection with a female. In fact, they will get angry if a chick ends of liking a dad bod dude over him.

There’s some illusive quality they keep missing about their personality that makes others uncomfortable.

The videos about the friends of incels breaking down their problems were most insightful about some of these issues.
One guy said his friend looked fine and was actually a cool dude, but he would constantly be a yes man to girls hoping that doing things would translate to attraction. Then he’d get angry if it didn’t work.
One guy said he considered women to be slot machines and if he put enough nice tokens into them, he should get a prize. One femcel chick mentioned having similar perspectives.

I think they are illuminating some fundamental misunderstandings about human interaction.



Yeah I think there are things people can do to compensate for looks within reason. I also think this culture of judging people numerically based solely on looks compounds a lot of social anxieties and creates many of these issues. Because there are so many unquantifiable aspects to attraction that get obscured by trying to distill it down to a 1-10 scale. You miss a lot of people’s appeal by not being willing to see how they are in their own zones.



Could you explain a bit more?


Yeah, I used to take a couple of classes that were crosslisted with economics and sociology. It was fascinating for them to breakdown the idea that we have to constantly convince losers to buy into the system so those at the top can maintain their quality of life. There’s more but I don’t remember a lot of it. Has a lotta implications for society which is why I think this is important.


Very cool! From a behavioral analyst perspective, I’ve seen social skills training and applied behavior analysis work WONDERS in the lives of children and adults with socio-emotional, behavioral and communicative deficits. In absence of a societal emphasis on this type of training we see more and more in need of it.

i don’t know if your making a big deal out of this or not, as I do believe more men now than ever are not getting laid, getting into relationships etc. On the flip side more women are also not getting into relationships or getting married either. I think this is a reflection of our current culture. And yes it’s going to increase. I recall a study that predicts that most women 25 and up will be single by 2044. That means most men who relied on marriage or commitment for steady sex won’t get it. People have been unhappy in our society as well and no one cares. I suppose that because this seems to impact a lot of middle class wm that’s the main reason our government would care. Let it be anybody else.

I do think schools can help with providing more curriculum that stresses character, proper ways to deal with emotions/relationships etc. but there are still external forces that conflict—for example social media, and how isolated people are/not as social with others around them anymore due to technology.

At the end of the day most people suffer from rejection, if it’s not relationships, it’s a job, a program, etc, etc. it’s a way of life. There are many Brehs that don’t always experience success with women, that don’t become incels.

On top of that I see unattractive and weird looking equally matched couples often enough to understand that something just doesn’t add up. Hell, just go to your local Walmart if you want proof. There are men who are weird that are with women. Fat couples, hell even crackhead and meth-head looking couples together. If I didn’t see these types of men and women dating, it would be one thing... As I said before they most likely need to receive mental health treatment.
 

CarmelBarbie

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That's the shyt they need to know. Nobody really cares that much about someone they don't know getting p*ssy. You'd care if they were homeless or starving or sick but not if they were "loved". Romantic "Love" from a woman is well....shyt is transactional.

Society is not set up for all men or all women to be married, at the end of the day you have to get validation from yourself not other people. If you think you're fly other people will too.

They don’t already know this?

Also I thought incels just want sex from certain women. If they want love, why not get with likeminded femcels? Look someone needs to create a dating app that targets incels and femcels only. Let them all connect and find that support, love and sex they yearn for.
 

Mandarin Duck

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Here’s an interesting article refuting some beliefs some incels have about male sexlessness.

Male Sexlessness is Rising But Not for the Reasons Incels Claim

Cliffs: Basically refutes the 80/20 rule and increased female choosiness.
Demonstrates that sexlessness is predicted moreso due to a delays in marriage, living with parents, education, economy.
I'm not refuting their claims but the Institute for Family Studies is saying men aren't having sex because men aren't getting married?

Here's their "About Us" section
The mission of the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) is to strengthen marriage and family life

Of course an Institute who's mission statement says their goal is to strengthen marriage and family life would say less marriage is why people aren't having sex.
 
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