Is It Worth It To Still Try To Date/Find Love After 40?

[Family Man]

...or should you just call it a life and be single for the duration of your life? I'm 2 months away from the big Four-Oh

And all 40 year old women, or women 35 and up to be general, just seem to have mad kids, mad attitude, and mad baggage. When I start talking to them and start dealing with their BS, I immediately long for, and go back to, the peace and simplicity of my solitude and bachelor's life

Fellow old heads speak on it. Have you found success in the dating game as you enter middle age, or have you reveled in your singlehood and found other things besides women to occupy your time? Youngstas chime in. Is there a certain cutoff point for you to stop pursuing love, or will you search until the end of your days?

I was thinking about this today. Just turned 39 but I'm already married. Been happily married for yeaaars. But If I wasn't already married then there would be nothing for me and a 40 year old woman to talk about.

I'd rather take a late 20's woman under my wing.

 

[froggle]

I thought GMB was an army, better yet the navy

 

[murksiderock]

OP 40 isnt that old unless you are 40 and look 55+...

Lots of single financialy well off good-looking childless women over 30/35+.

How old are you, sister?

I think alota these dudes just stuck at dating and are afraid to admit they have systemic issues that makes them unattractive as a partner. Also, trying to hunt for a specific woman to meet a checklist, that shyt should go out the window when you're really looking for a woman. Meet people and learn to enjoy them for who they are and the shyt will come to you...

 

[Rawtid]

Gotdamn this is such a depressing fukking thread...

I don’t even know where to start with this and I recall having a similar convo with @Rawtid a year or two back...

Happiness starts within. When it comes to finding a mate, I believe it only isn't "in the cards" if you've never matured the toxicity, cancer, or ugliness that causes you to be undesirable. Which is a reality for some people, some of you guys really need to be looking harder at yourselves and why, by your own admission in this thread, "this keeps happening"...

Other than that, there's someone for everyone. Finding a mate isn't supposed to be easy, people enjoy different things and personalities vary. You have to find your match but you also can't force it...

This is a great hot take for men because you guys control the pulse/pace of a relationship. For women things work differently and especially if you're not an attractive woman. Then you have to consider a good partnership requires reciprocity in feelings and MOST men and women aren't on the same page about what they want from an association, it's not just "undesirable" energy lol. The statement "there is someone for everyone" is also a farce, it's not even numerically possible. Not everyone is going to experience relationships filled with romantic "by the book" love and it's ok, life is still fulfilling. The people running through individuals until they find "the one" are no better than those who chose to embrace being single.

 

[murksiderock]

This is a great hot take for men because you guys control the pulse/pace of a relationship. For women things work differently and especially if you're not an attractive woman. Then you have to consider a good partnership requires reciprocity in feelings and MOST men and women aren't on the same page about what they want from an association, it's not just "undesirable" energy lol. The statement "there is someone for everyone" is also a farce, it's not even numerically possible. Not everyone is going to experience relationships filled with romantic "by the book" love and it's ok, life is still fulfilling. The people running through individuals until they find "the one" are no better than those who chose to embrace being single.

These guys in here aren't embracing being single though, so that piint is irrelevant to the topic...

The dominant personality controls the pulse and pace of a relationship, sometimes its the man, sometimes its the woman. Every point you hit on can apply in reverse regardless of gender, and particularly given we're in a thread where men are complaining about their ability to retain a mate, I'm not sure where you're going here...

Some people do embrace being single. For those who don't, which is the majority of people, there is someone compatible out there, but you need to know what baggage you're bringing to the table is as important as looking for checklist points in a partner...

 

[Rawtid]

These guys in here aren't embracing being single though, so that piint is irrelevant to the topic...

The dominant personality controls the pulse and pace of a relationship, sometimes its the man, sometimes its the woman. Every point you hit on can apply in reverse regardless of gender, and particularly given we're in a thread where men are complaining about their ability to retain a mate, I'm not sure where you're going here...

Some people do embrace being single. For those who don't, which is the majority of people, there is someone compatible out there, but you need to know what baggage you're bringing to the table is as important as looking for checklist points in a partner...

We can agree to disagree here. A dominant personality and men having control over the pace are different things to me. It's not just individual baggage, so -called bitterness and overall undesirability that's the issue and there IS NOT someone for everyone. Once you let that crack dream go, you can go about living your life. I think people are struggling because others tell them they should feel bad about this, ultimately suggesting they settle or groom someone underage (smh) instead of figure out who they are as individuals. It's not a depressing topic, it's an enlightening one on all fronts...to me.

 

[MikelArteta]

you can be 45 and date a woman whose 35
People find love at all different ages

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

It’s true you shouldn’t be in a unhappy relationship but from the tone of this thread a lot of these dudes ain’t exactly swimming in options but still have crazy standards like fat chicks. Everybody can get somebody and needs somebody. You don’t want to become the money 75 year old man without a wife or children constantly going to the same stores just to have human interaction.

Again
Life happens
There are no guarantees that your children
Will love you like that
There’s no guarantee your spouse(male/female)
Will still look at you with loving eyes
That’s why you have hobbies and build friendships
Keep learning
Try to see different shyt
Learn to be alone and enjoy your own company
I’m not trying to promote being a hermit
Just being completely honest
There is no guarantee my wife will be here
A day from now
A year from now
We both have our own autonomy
But we come together like voltron
You can’t put your complete happiness into somebody
You are doing yourself a disservice
And getting into the wrong relationship
Especially at 40(I’m 39)
The setbacks can be vicious
Being in a relationship @20
Is sooooo much different at 40
People have their whole futures to lose
Talking pensions
Homes you worked so hard for
Most importantly your mind
Just getting into a relationship because you don’t want to be lonely in the future
Again
That ain’t it
People thinking about a what if future
But can’t even stand in their truth in the present
That goes for both men/women
Your partner is your reflection
If you out here
Woe is me
I’m fat
I’m ugly
That energy and vibration resonates in the universe
Yeah people can call that new age, hocus pocus
But that shyt is true
If you not right within
There is nobody in the world that can fix that
You have to be your own person before you can love
Having a cancer scare and still dealing with health issues
Put a lot of shyt in perspective
None of this shyt means anything in the grand scheme
Enjoy your life
Be open to new experiences
Build genuine foundations with people
Live in the moment
And if love finds you
Cherish it
Live in it
And when it ends
Understand as long as you are above ground
It’s always a chance to start over

 

[shutterguy]

You still on that single tip breh? Has your situation or perspective changed?

Yep still on it, but I am actively looking for a partner, still not wanting to get married or have kids. However with all my things that keep me busy and happy I do miss having someone to share them with. As you get older you see things a bit different, you definitely try not to become jaded by things, but are quick to pick up on people who you can vibe with and who you can't. At this point, my health and career are the most important over finding a girlfriend, but I am still keeping my options open. I had planned on going out this year to events to network/socialize but Corona put the brakes on a lot of that.

 

[Icantspell]

settle bruh

you don't have to be in love.

 

[SnowflakesByTheOZ]

I been gave up and I’m only 25.... shyt I’m 5’2” no fine chickens want my short ugly ass

Yup 27, had gf's in the past but after a few experiences and observing female nature a relationship is not what I want ever. I'm content with being single and dating occasionally for the rest of my life.

 

[Scott Larock]

Being a traitor never made anyone feel better breh..
And old non Black women look like shyt..

traitor.....

breh you think older men getting looked on like that without money? It’s depressing being older and trying to find love also it’s a sense of bitterness or depression in most older people who are single.

then you got pride....,

women who look good live their lives breh, have attendancy to be very head strong and know exactly what they want it’s much harder for older men to get women than most people realize. Body goes to crap passed 40, start looking it ain’t easy, realistically I don’t advise just hooking up due to necessity we need someone on our level financially, sexually and socially.

that traitor talk is what makes a lot of dudes really go off the deep end and lose it all.

if young sexual deviant over 40 then you already aiming to high you gotta be realistic here.

I don’t like seeing 50 year olds compete with 25 year olds different generation.

I’ve had coworkers happy they met a man and the next week they don’t talk anymore, it’s more complicated than people believe.

 

[DatLBCGuy562]

Lol. Dont know why this made me laugh.
Making the rest of us reconsider possibly being single.

Pangs of loneliness?

Men don’t get lonely?

See, unlike a lot of you nikkas in here, I can be REAL with myself and others and admit to me not being perfect and having all of the answers at all times. Not worried about impressing a bunch of internet nikkas who I’ll never meet in real life and, if I did see them in real life, would more often than not cross the street to avoid me. Don’t give a fukk what you nikkas think of me. I’ve literally fukked hundreds of women over the course of my 41 years on this planet, so I’m not some white boy incel full of rage. So you can interpret that statement in whatever way makes you feel superior breh.

 

[DatLBCGuy562]

I was thinking about this today. Just turned 39 but I'm already married. Been happily married for yeaaars. But If I wasn't already married then there would be nothing for me and a 40 year old woman to talk about.

I'd rather take a late 20's woman under my wing.

Why do you think you have more in common with a 20 year old than a woman your age, who grew up in the same era experiencing the same world events and times as you did? Trust me man. If a woman in her 20s is looking at a male in his 40s, it’s literally for ONE thing. And it ain’t because you’re that handsome or because you’re that charming. It’s because she’s expecting you to be a beta male simp provider who’ll finance her lifestyle while she gives you zero value or nothing tangible in return...

 

[Mr. Jack Napier]

Gotdamn this is such a depressing fukking thread...

I don’t even know where to start with this and I recall having a similar convo with @Rawtid a year or two back...

Happiness starts within. When it comes to finding a mate, I believe it only isn't "in the cards" if you've never matured the toxicity, cancer, or ugliness that causes you to be undesirable. Which is a reality for some people, some of you guys really need to be looking harder at yourselves and why, by your own admission in this thread, "this keeps happening"...

Other than that, there's someone for everyone. Finding a mate isn't supposed to be easy, people enjoy different things and personalities vary. You have to find your match but you also can't force it...

Okay, so what about the folk who "on paper" have their business together (as well as no "toxic" traits i.e manipulative), been focusing on themselves & still not getting checked for?