Is This Man Correct About "Victim Blaming?"

[Poitier]

if a girl is at risk of being raped even when she's in the safety of her own home at a reasonable time at night and with a dude who she's known all her life, what "precautions" is she supposed to take exactly?

We are speaking on a certain subset like this http://www.thecoli.com/threads/girl...-by-him-and-his-friends.256612/#post-10391484

 

[MikelArteta]

Sure you can. There are environmental factors that are common to sexual assaulters. We as a society can work to minimize them. You have touched on some of them in your endless quest to put women at the root of all problems in the world

oh you mean like banning alcohol as most have a alcohol/drug abuse
removing males from single parent households as a large segment of rapists are from broken homes

 

[Wild self]

So, in that man's logic if his daughter is off work at 1am but one night she gets out early, tries to call him and waits outside and gets kidnapped and raped, is it his fault for not picking up his phone and being there on time? Is it her fault not staying inside the store? Are they to blame for the violent act committed against her?

His reasoning smells of some type of women-blaming and agenda bias. It's a little difficult to read him. Yes, you can and should take actions to protect yourself. But even if you are vulnerable, someone else is making the choice to hurt you in some way, despite your actions. You did not make that choice to get kidnapped, raped, mugged or whatever. The perpetrator did. If you are doped up on xanax and alcohol and wandering down a strange alley, you did not force yourself into a stranger's trunk. Someone made the choice to put you there.

Same logic for black folks getting pulled over by the cops.

Same logic for kids getting kidnapped.

Same logic for the elderly.

With that logic, might as well not learn self defense classes or take precaution of any kind.

 

[Drew Wonder]

No disagreement here.



Depends on how glaring it which is why



Misses the point because both can be done in unison

it's all about the intent though. do you honestly think the white dude who questions the black victim's "criminal record" or asks "why he was out so late at night" has any interest in fixing the problem of racial profiling? Or is he just trying to absolve himself and his race of guilt? the same can be said for a lot of dudes who speak on rape, domestic abuse, etc. You gotta really be honest with yourself and figure out whether you're really trying to work and offer solutions to the problem or if you're just playing a game of competitive victimhood and oneupmanship with women. I question the motivation of a lot of dudes who speak on issues like this

 

[StickStickly]

Same logic for black folks getting pulled over by the cops.

Same logic for kids getting kidnapped.

Same logic for the elderly.

With that logic, might as well not learn self defense classes or take precaution of any kind.

you can learn to protect yourself,but you can't blame the victim if something bad happens to them.

 

[Poitier]

it's all about the intent though. do you honestly think the white dude who questions the black victim's "criminal record" or asks "why he was out so late at night" has any interest in fixing the problem of racial profiling? Or is he just trying to absolve himself and his race of guilt? the same can be said for a lot of dudes who speak on rape, domestic abuse, etc. You gotta really be honest with yourself and figure out whether you're really trying to work and offer solutions to the problem or if you're just playing a game of competitive victimhood and oneupmanship with women. I question the motivation of a lot of dudes who speak on issues like this

But you can agree that any in some instances that high risk behavior could be mitigated if addressed? Is it not worth looking into why people take those risk?

Eradicating rape will need solutions on multiple fronts.

 

[Killer Instinct]

I've come to terms that most human beings argue on emotion.
They enter a topic of discussion with their minds made up and their brain hits a switch that severers all logical rationalization.
It becomes increasingly evident when they begin interjecting arguments that no one said.
What the man stated was common sense.
Anyone who had a parent who loved them - especially if you are a black child in America - told them there were certain things you tried to avoid - for their sanity and your safety.
We don't live in a perfect world and pretending that we do is only putting your life and the people you care about lives at risk.
Idealism is not conductive to survival.

 

[Drew Wonder]

Same logic for black folks getting pulled over by the cops.

Same logic for kids getting kidnapped.

Same logic for the elderly.

With that logic, might as well not learn self defense classes or take precaution of any kind.

we're not saying to not take precautions. we're saying
1) sometimes being cautious doesn't stop you from being a victim
2) putting more of a focus on what the victim could've done differently than the culture that motivated the person who victimized the victim is counterproductive

 

[mrken12]

We can understand rape... if we choose to. Once we understand it, we can work to minimize it way better than through telling women to not be anywhere men are.

No we can't. We will never be able to understand why someone would forcibly have sex with someone. And like I stated there will always be crazy people out there. So crazy that having the person visit a therapist or going to jail won't make them stop. You can't stop those people.

 

[September]

we're not saying to not take precautions. we're saying
1) sometimes being cautious doesn't stop you from being a victim
2) putting more of a focus on what the victim could've done differently than the culture that motivated the person who victimized the victim is counterproductive

I agree with all of this. A rapist will rape whether I'm drunk wearing a mini dress or wearing a north face and champion sweatpants. Rape is about power, not sexual gratification.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

No we can't. We will never be able to understand why someone would forcibly have sex with someone. And like I stated there will always be crazy people out there. So crazy that having the person visit a therapist or going to jail won't make them stop. You can't stop those people.

Then why has rape per capita gone down over the last 3-4 decades

 

[Drew Wonder]

But you can agree that any in some instances that high risk behavior could be mitigated if addressed? It it not worth looking into why people take those risk?

Eradicating rape will need solutions on multiple fronts.

sure, I agree with that, people should always be cautious, no disagreement from me there. the problem is a lot of dudes only stop at "well, she should've been more cautious" then just leave it at that, completely ignoring rape culture and the fukked up mentality that a lot of men have because it makes them feel uncomfortable having that conversation or they don't wanna (God forbid) be labeled a simp. but they disguise it as them being "fair" and "balanced." it just reeks of intellectual dishonesty

 

[Poitier]

Then why has rape per capita gone down over the last 3-4 decades

Prevention by potential victims and forensics to identify rapist

 

[Wild self]

we're not saying to not take precautions. we're saying
1) sometimes being cautious doesn't stop you from being a victim
2) putting more of a focus on what the victim could've done differently than the culture that motivated the person who victimized the victim is counterproductive

on #1 Being cautious will make you more aware, so that even if (a big 'if') you are a victim, you can learn from it . To tell you the truth, its like driving and not be in a car accident. If it happens, the best way is to do defensive driving and do your best to prevent it.

On the culture. The US might as well try to eliminate poverty and make living sex androids for he potential rapists if rape wants to be done completely. That is the only rational solution. Anything else would be violating basic human rights.

 

[Drew Wonder]

and fellas, don't get me wrong. I completely understand why it's uncomfortable to discuss shyt like this, especially as a black man. we're not too far removed from a time when black men were constantly falsely accused of rape or when we were lynched for whistling at a white women. so sisters, ya'll gotta take this into account when you get frustrated with how we react to the street harassment and rape issue.

at the same time, fellas also need to realize that a lot of men of all races are really out there with a fukked up and dangerous mentality towards women and what they're entitled to, and we gotta be honest about our intentions when we choose to address it and speak on it