Joseph from the Bible lost

[Cowboyz89]

That hoe just made that shyt up and he a simp for believing her.

Times change, hoes do not

"I aint never trust a bytch since she ate that forbidden fruit".
-Lil Wayne

 

[the cac mamba]

been saying this

this alleged joseph was the Original Simp

 

[Cabbage Patch]

Ill tell you who lost... That nikka from the bible who was tested by God and the devil. The devil basically takes everything away from him to see if he will still serve God. I always thought that story was fukked up.

Agreed.

And then he gets more children, like kids are replaceable as goldfish. The material shyt, sure, that's easy.

But killing the kids off to prove a point, and trying to make up with more kids.... That was bullshyt.

What happened to Job's wife again, since she was the one on the fukk god movement?

 

[Mr swag]

You gon let God get ya bytch pregnant

You gon stay with the hoe even though God gave her a baby

Lmao marry Christmas

If you ACTUALLY read the bible. Jesus was his baby

 

[CoochieMane]

Jesus was a legit cool dude. Dude partied, drank wine, chilled with priests and prostitutes, didn't mind working with his hands so he was fit and built, had the respect of rabbis and rabble rousers, loved women and respected women as fellow teachers, was great with kids, harbored no Jewish xenophobia against non-Jews or wrong sect Jews, loved the Lord and tried to bring everyone to Gods glory instead of being on that We Alone Are The Chosen Now Pay Up mess. Just a really cool dude.

So of course he had to die.

Greatest man to ever walk the earth.

 

[Mr swag]

Theres tons of the "bible" story that got left out and is in the apocrphya.

Peep the Gospel of Thomas when you get a chance...Jesus was running around terrorizing the village he grew up in with his "magic powers"

Joseph at one point had to twist his ear to scold him and to get him to undo some of the people he violated

5 Real Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Some Ass | Cracked.com

Jesus was rolling around with ex cons for a reason

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Jesus was rolling around with ex cons for a reason

Blood (of Christ) in, blood (of Christ) out

 

[Jack Trippa 3z company ho]

So many mislead souls on the coli

 

[Doobie Doo]

So many mislead souls on the coli

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

Wait a minute Breh... So Job's kids got murked because God and the devil made a bet to see if job would be upset with God? The whole premise of the bet was to make job as mad as possible to see if he truly loved God
Man wtf...

Then later on after God "replaced"() job's kids, he and job are having a discussion and God basically tells job "you ain't shyt, where were you when I made the earth, lil nikka"


nikkas co-sign this shyt?

This is thread-making worthy material alone

 

[Man]

These stories have been repeated for a long time.Joseph is Joseph.

It's good to clown but there's more than one joseph and more than 1 understanding

They'll tell you it's based on the stars, or your inner turmoil or some mystery.

At the most it'll take you 10 years of in depth study, through a maze, to understand the books. It's up to you at the end of it to decide if it was worth it or not.

 

[The Burger King]

Wait a minute Breh... So Job's kids got murked because God and the devil made a bet to see if job would be upset with God? The whole premise of the bet was to make job as mad as possible to see if he truly loved God
Man wtf...

Then later on after God "replaced"() job's kids, he and job are having a discussion and God basically tells job "you ain't shyt, where were you when I made the earth, lil nikka"


nikkas co-sign this shyt?

This is thread-making worthy material alone

The Bible is gully. Nobody can deny that shyt.

5 Real Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Some Ass | Cracked.com

In Thomas' version of events, later that same day as Jesus was casually strolling around town, running divine errands, another boy accidentally bumped into him on the street. So what wouldJesus do? He'd probably use his divine presence to heal the boy of being friggin' clumsy, right? Let's see:

Jesus was provoked and said unto him, "Thou shalt not finish thy course." And immediately he fell down and died.

-- Infancy Gospel of Thomas 4:1

We ... He probably ... No. Wait. He just murdered a kid for brushing against him? Was Jesus a Crip? Far be it from us to question the judgment of the Son of God, but being sentenced to death for scuffing Christ's sandals seems excessive. Maybe if the kid had been walking exceedingly slow right in the center of the sidewalk so he couldn't get past him and was just obliviously yakking away on his cell phone while, like, eight people stuck behind him were trying to get somewhere and seriously if you would just move four inches to one side we could get past and GODDAMN IT DON'T STOP SO THAT WE ALMOST RUN INTO YOU. OH, AND JUST TO STARE SLACK-JAWED AT A TABLOID ON THE NEWSPAPER KIOSK, YOU SON OF A bytch -- maybe that's a walking crime worthy of divine capital punishment. But wasting a kid because he touches your arm? Jesus was like a bully in an 80s high school movie, if they had been able to murder people with words.

Jesus was out here murkin' nikkas for bumping into him.

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

These stories have been repeated for a long time.Joseph is Joseph.

It's good to clown but there's more than one joseph and more than 1 understanding

They'll tell you it's based on the stars, or your inner turmoil or some mystery.

At the most it'll take you 10 years of in depth study, through a maze, to understand the books. It's up to you at the end of it to decide if it was worth it or not.

 

[GodinDaFlesh]

God, history's ultimate deadbeat dad.

 

[Man]

It's the very thing that bites at the conscious of atheists despite all "logic"

They want to understand the belief more than anyone else