You were poor, and your child lived in poverty with his poor parents. It happens, fine. This mentality of spending the absolute bare minimum on your child is one you both had out of necessity bc you lacked financial comfort.
BUT
For an average standard of living, a child costs over a $1000/m. The op isn't even paying $1000 for his TWO children, and he's complaining.
Why some of you men feel it's okay for your children to live in tough economic circumstances, where their parent can't afford the best food, tutors and extracurriculars, decent shelter in good neighbourhoods, and so on, is what's truly unfortunate.
You'd rather your kids live below an average standard of living, where their mothers have to come and beg you for a pittance every month. Ya'll are totally comfortable with her struggling to make ends meet, and while you come through to buy the kids an outfit and act like it's all good. Y'all love the flexibility of being able to pay her at your own leisure, as if children don't have consistent financial costs for their material well being.
The op was giving the babymom $400/ month. IN FUKING QUEENS, NEW YORK.! It's the purest display of selfishness.
Couple that with the fact that despite these myths of unfit sole-parents (ex. using the money on a new nikka), none of y'all actually want full custody of your kids, bc of the time and work it requires, preferring instead that the mother make that sacrifice. And then turn around and try to devalue the work a single parent has to do - like she ain't doing shyt but getting her hair done. If that's the case, and you can do a better job, why dont you be the single parent????
The deductions you're making as to why basic needs that cost money, shouldn't count as child care expenses is what's baffling.
Dude said don't count shelter as a child care cost. Do the kids live in space, or here on Earth where RENT is a thing???
are you on fukking drugs??
poverty... poor... we lived in a 3 bedroom HOUSE on 5 acres
since then i've gone from making 40k to 65k a year.... and she now makes 30k on top of that.... fridge and the outside freezers is STOCKED... boy got 2 fukking dressers full of clothes... i just explained a week long trip to disney... then sesame place last week... then the beach in august... then me and her going to vegas for labor day
what the fukk are you even saying???
kids don't cost that fukking much money... please break down how a kid is eating $500 dollars a month in groceries?
the avg household in america makes 51k a year... and that's before taxes which is coming for about 35% and that's not counting car, rent, insurance on car, insurance on health, etc etc.... and you telling me avg means is to spend 1000 a month on kids
maybe if you add in daycare... but he clearly said they are 9 and 7... so daycare is free school... which also takes away this caviar lunch you must be giving him
you honestly telling me a KID costs $10 a day to feed, every single day of the month... no cause that'd be $300 a month... so about 15-20 a day is spent to feed a kid alone.... you couldn't even spend that on 3 meals at mcdonalds for one kid..
y'all not budgeting your money or food preps AT ALL
i buy my son a $70 pair of new balances last month... you telling me he gonna need a new pair every month?? they not gonna last 3-4 months? do i need to give him a fresh $70 pair of shoes each time? you telling me he needs 20 pants a year?? and if they all 50 bucks, that's still only 1000... and he don't need 20 fukking pair of pants... and they damn sure aint all 50 dollars each
yall out here doing the MOST then wonder why your kids fat, spoiled and expect every damn thing
trust my kid ain't NEVER lived in poverty... never will come close... and at no time have i needed to spend 12000 a year for clothes and food
rent, car, bills does not go into "kid needs" pile cause i would need to pay that if i had zero kids... which is my point... stop trying to count that shyt in the pile... if a woman can't afford rent, car, bills without a kid, why the fukk do i need to pay it for her now that she got one? he should be with the parent who can actually provide the things he needs... or she should get a better fukking job
let me put it another way....
you're a woman... you have a 2 bed apt... you have a car that costs 300 in payment and insurance.... you have utility bills.... you eat food.. you have a job... you are paying all that shyt
you have a baby.... the man then throws in an extra 600 for the baby's needs... that covers food for the baby, health insurance on dads plan, more than enough clothing, and he goes to school 5 days out the week
why is the man suddenly responsible for paying parts of your rent you already had, car you already had, and bills you already had?? they ain't going up cause you had a child... you was paying them fine before the child... if he says ok give me the child, you not going to let that happen either... but now all the sudden you NEED my money to pay for your rent?
doesn't the kid come to dad's house too? doesn't he need food there, rent there, car there, bills there, clothes there? is mom sending him a check every weekend to cover anything? fukk no... he's essentially paying up twice... doing his responsibility in two places, for one child.. and when he can't afford to do both, she can say it's unfit where he's living, and then he'll get that time taken away too
if life was fair... there'd be an amount decided and both parties would pay in half... or 70/30... or whatever percentage of time they had the child
but this shyt is the same law from the 1800s, that never got updated with the working woman and 50% divorce rates... so men get their kids 4 days out of 30, and pay 100% of child support
i'm just lucky to have a woman who takes care of her business and lets us handle our child without a judge... i have no doubt the judge would stick me for 700-800 for one kid... and she's honest enough to say "i don't even need that much" and that she wouldn't have a use for it... so i stick it in savings and college... instead of her driving a fresh benz with the left over 300 every damn month that surely wouldn't be going to nothing needed
" and "it happens to the best of us 
"
nikka i have no baby mamas, period, shyt isn't as hard to prevent as nikkas are portraying