Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[SlickHomie]

Yea OP, after reading through this thread idk man. Seems like she had some red flags from the jump. The control thing is the big thing I'm seeing.

Yea it was some...but nothing MAJOR....
See 20 30 years ago the red flag observation had a lot of validity....now a days....relationships
..marriage is a roll of the dice....
Remember a woman no matter how down she is...No red flags....has access to a million swangin dikks by her fingertips and vice versa...
Have a bad arguement..irritate a good bit..
All women gonna open that door....to another man........
And most will let him in.....
Its the ones who wont let another nikka in...you lookin for....and those odds are trash...good luck

 

[broller]

Lol cheat yea....abuse..no....but she did try to stab me one time..cause i was walking away from everything

 

[phcitywarrior]

Its the ones who wont let another nikka in...you lookin for....and those odds are trash...good luck

Makes perfect sense. But there has to be a discussion around this whole "I didn't get attention so I'm going to cheat/step out" notion. Like WTF is that. Married people work through things (at least they're supposed to). If you're gonna dip at the first hurdle then why even take the vows.

 

[Apollo Creed]

Looks like the Muslims are the only ones winning in this respect.

eh even they problem have a surge in folks tryna buck but they have a HOH supported by their laws too (for Muslim countries) so society regulates itself. Muslims do have an issue of dudes who are bums having multiple wives but not supporting them

 

[phcitywarrior]

Muslims do have an issue of dudes who are bums having multiple wives but not supporting them

Maaaaaaaannnnnn, if I told you about this place called Northern Nigeria

 

[Apollo Creed]

1 year

Lol hell nah

 

[thaKEAF]

What did you feel like you did wrong?

How well did you all communicate during the bad times?

 

[SlickHomie]

Makes perfect sense. But there has to be a discussion around this whole "I didn't get attention so I'm going to cheat/step out" notion. Like WTF is that. Married people work through things (at least they're supposed to). If you're gonna dip at the first hurdle then why even take the vows.

It wasnt the first hurdle.....it was a culmination of events....yea we had counseling..and other processes to try to make it work....but you cant keep fightin a losin battle....the graveyard and prisons are full of good men and women who didnt know when to say.."fukk it...im out:

 

[SNG]

I worked...she did for a lil bit but went out on sick leave
So now I have to handle anything....
Now when its time to go back to work she got comfortable being at home....
Mind you she has NO KIDS...
but she wants to keep up with the joneses...
Now the more i worked the less attention she gets....hell i wanna sit back lay wood and play 2k all day but bills gotta get paid...
So i imagine the 5 bdrm bouse 2 cars...fence dog n shyt...wasnt good enough....she had to see if the grass was greener on the other side

I remember my ex wanted to be a stay at home woman and was telling me shyt that woman shouldn’t have to work and men are the providers etc etc. We are no longer together

 

[SlickHomie]

What did you feel like you did wrong?

How well did you all communicate during the bad times?

Not gonna lie....i shouldve handled certain situations differently.....i was...kinda still am the "non chalant" type...just let her do what she do...my main focus was work keeping our lifestyle up to par.....
I shouldve put my foot down like "Nah you aint goin"....but i figure she a grown ass woman...just be safe and dont do no dumb shyt..
Communication...yea we talked but she just couldnt come out with the WHOLE truth...thats really all i wanted...just a bunch lies...and half truths....even when i proved she was lyin...she denied....and i finally said fawk it

 

[SlickHomie]

I remember my ex wanted to be a stay at home woman and was telling me shyt that woman shouldn’t have to work and men are the providers etc etc. We are no longer together

Exactly....if you want more than i could provide....you have no right to be a "stay at home...anything"..
Congrats

 

[Apollo Creed]

Yea it was some...but nothing MAJOR....
See 20 30 years ago the red flag observation had a lot of validity....now a days....relationships
..marriage is a roll of the dice....
Remember a woman no matter how down she is...No red flags....has access to a million swangin dikks by her fingertips and vice versa...
Have a bad arguement..irritate a good bit..
All women gonna open that door....to another man........
And most will let him in.....
Its the ones who wont let another nikka in...you lookin for....and those odds are trash...good luck

thats why some brehs just cheat so it dont hurt if they ever get cheated on lol. Sad thing this is she can cheat 100 times but if you cheat once and get caught you will be the bad guy.

 

[Apollo Creed]

I remember my ex wanted to be a stay at home woman and was telling me shyt that woman shouldn’t have to work and men are the providers etc etc. We are no longer together

all that ish is a flex. Modern Women dont know how to cook, clean, knit, aint wise enough to home school kids or anything lol. Most these folks who say that dont understand Homemaking is literally a career in itself.

 

[Bushmaster69]

Maaaaaaaannnnnn, if I told you about this place called Northern Nigeria

Please explain

 

[SNG]

all that ish is a flex. Modern Women dont know how to cook, clean, knit, aint wise enough to home school kids or anything lol. Most these folks who say that dont understand Homemaking is literally a career in itself.

Exactly they want to stay home and flex on the gram with your money. Why you out there working your ass off she’s at home replying to nikkaz all in her DM’s fukk all that.