Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[Stuntone]

You literally pop up in these threads to defend the woman no matter how wrong she is

Shorty cheated on breh but the man still wrong huh?

But since u wanna play that game, what percentage of households has the woman paying all the bills?

You’re citing rare exceptions where the man genuinely doesn’t have it and shorty chose to ride for him which is obviously not the rare kind of woman we’re discussing.

When is the last time u went on a first date and paid the whole way since this is a thing women do?

Any woman that defend every woman no matter what is a feminist knowingly or not, steer very care of them. Never date them. They're infallible.

Feminism is teaching women that all their actions are justifiable and its a man fault they did it. They are never wrong.

 

[Max Power]

You know what......ive been considering GMB.....BUT...no b.s. when shyt was right we were unstoppable.....so in essence im on the fence......for now

Breh you got cheated on

 

[Max Power]

More and more I read, the slower OP. comes across. Just not a sharp dude, no wonder she was running wild. I was expecting entertainment, I got stupidity, I'm out

 

[Bushmaster69]

Actually its not, men and women are not the same. A women paying all bills with a man in a home (outside of him losing his job or sickness) isnt healthy or sustainable dynamic in long term most situations.

That being said, there are million and 1 stories of women handling finances while their partners get on their feet inlcuding the OP.

You missed the point or you are just being willfully ignorant right now.

 

[Rawtid]

handy means nothing though, the issue is being PRODUCTIVE. Everything you mentioned has nothing to do with production. Those may be ways to produce but in the age of technology none of this matters any more. Being a HOMEMAKER though is a specific field in the same instance of being a Mechanic. Even then Women of today usually lack the ability to be nurturing to another adult, because they dont see Men as their other half. At the end of the day nobody is perfect, a proper partnership one persons weakness should be offset/balanced by the strengths of the other person. Many women how ever sees what a Man isn't strong at being "that man aint sh*t". On the other hand for men, as long as he gets sex at a minimum probably isn't asking for much. The thing couples today lack the ability to do is simply say "we love each other, how do we make it past this obstacle together?", thats what vows are for. Instead though if people reach a roadblock they just dead the relationship.

The bold sounds like you don't own a home or been responsible for running one by yourself. Being handy is just as much a requirement of "homemaking" as cleaning. With that one statement, in my eyes, you have expressed the hypocrisy of modern day men. You want a "traditional" woman to perform a litany of duties while the only thing you're offering is bill money in the form of long work hours. The financial part of any relationship is the EASIEST and I don't feel many of you are matching the level you want in return.

 

[deep]

women like to have control over men, which is why many deal with "bum" dudes at the extreme, or blue collar dudes who dont own their own business.

this post should be a thread of its own. So true.

 

[Dolla$]

Around the same time that we discuss why a lot of women let their mask slip once they get married? Or why they decide to leave because they’re “bored”.

That’s been the common theme of this thread and every thread on this site

I’m guilty as well. I had a lot of fukked up situations from the past that were avoidable if i had just been honest with myself and not let my dikk do the thinking for me

And at the same time I’m not perfect

To not admit to any of that is narcissistic to say the least

 

[Abraxus]

For me....man it felt like the end of the world. For real. Had been together 10 years, married for 4 and just had my babygirl. She switched it up quick and felt like she loved another dude, no lie I was shook but after hanging on for two more miserable years fighting it , I let it go. She never prospered after me. For reals. Her shyt all went downhill. Left military, got no benefits, no alimony. Lost her mom, her house and was homeless for two years. Me? I kept hitting highs. She tried to reconcile a year later after divorce but I was like nah, fukk that. Called me crying... i almost fell for it. This was in ‘07

Fast forward to today. She got her degree (she was one who pushed me to go back) I got multiple degrees and I’m helping her get back to where she need to be. Soon she’ll have all her VA benefits and we friends now. Daughter heads to college next year on me, all paid for. She apologized for everything and the way she did it. I accepted and I let it go.

Sometimes we meet , marry or get into relationships that need to teach us or propel us to a greater destiny. Kinda like a car. You can ride it but for so long until you either trade it in or get a new one etc. I don’t hold no grudges now but I did years earlier. I’m in a better place in my life and I now realize if I had not gone through that painful divorce I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. Chilling, retired and living my best life. Man. Having a moment now.


OP you’re going to be ok, trust me. Life goes on. I’d encourage you to work on yourself and focus on what makes you happy. When i divorced I had just enough money to get my own place , a house rental with no furniture but an air mattress. I lay down that night in my empty house on that air mattress and slept like a baby. It was the most peace I had felt in what seemed like eons. Smdh

 

[Robo Squirrel]

Damn man, y'all nikkas still at it? shyt...

 

[HARLEM AL]

More and more I read, the slower OP. comes across. Just not a sharp dude, no wonder she was running wild. I was expecting entertainment, I got stupidity, I'm out

In the game of life, everyone gets got. Whether it happens when you’re younger or when you’re older. Nothing to do with being smart.


But hey, you probably looking for daps

 

[Ya?]

You literally pop up in these threads to defend the woman no matter how wrong she is

Shorty cheated on breh but the man still wrong huh?

But since u wanna play that game, what percentage of households has the woman paying all the bills?

You’re citing rare exceptions where the man genuinely doesn’t have it and shorty chose to ride for him which is obviously not the rare kind of woman we’re discussing.

When is the last time u went on a first date and paid the whole way since this is a thing women do?

I wasn’t defending her, I am trying to understand the situation holistically.

12 years of marriage isn’t some throw away relationship.

The op has 2 kids from a previous relationship and has a failed marriage, I wanted to know why it’s not working other than she women don’t know how to maintain a relationship.

He didn’t talk about women, he spoke about his relationship and I am interested to know what his part was in it. Dudes be giving these one sided stories on here, I need to hear a more objective account.

 

[HARLEM AL]

In his first sentence he states he should've have done certain things differently. In your reply, your first sentence is "doesnt sound like your are taking any responsibility. "





Women always do that.

That’s exactly why I ignored her. shyt is absurd.

 

[HARLEM AL]

For me....man it felt like the end of the world. For real. Had been together 10 years, married for 4 and just had my babygirl. She switched it up quick and felt like she loved another dude, no lie I was shook but after hanging on for two more miserable years fighting it , I let it go. She never prospered after me. For reals. Her shyt all went downhill. Left military, got no benefits, no alimony. Lost her mom, her house and was homeless for two years. Me? I kept hitting highs. She tried to reconcile a year later after divorce but I was like nah, fukk that. Called me crying... i almost fell for it. This was in ‘07

Fast forward to today. She got her degree (she was one who pushed me to go back) I got multiple degrees and I’m helping her get back to where she need to be. Soon she’ll have all her VA benefits and we friends now. Daughter heads to college next year on me, all paid for. She apologized for everything and the way she did it. I accepted and I let it go.

Sometimes we meet , marry or get into relationships that need to teach us or propel us to a greater destiny. Kinda like a car. You can ride it but for so long until you either trade it in or get a new one etc. I don’t hold no grudges now but I did years earlier. I’m in a better place in my life and I now realize if I had not gone through that painful divorce I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. Chilling, retired and living my best life. Man. Having a moment now.


OP you’re going to be ok, trust me. Life goes on. I’d encourage you to work on yourself and focus on what makes you happy. When i divorced I had just enough money to get my own place , a house rental with no furniture but an air mattress. I lay down that night in my empty house on that air mattress and slept like a baby. It was the most peace I had felt in what seemed like eons. Smdh

Powerful Post!

 

[Ya?]

In his first sentence he states he should've have done certain things differently. In your 2-reply, your first sentence is "doesnt sound like your are taking any responsibility. "





Women always do that.

Let me explain, anyone can apologize. But all apologies aren’t equal. Just cause someone says I am sorry doesn’t mean they mean it and are truly sorry.

likewise op says that acknowledged he dropped the ball on certain things but then claims he was non Chalant on her going out. How is that admitting responsibility, that a still blaming her.
Perhaps what should have been worded is I didn’t communicate what I wanted in the relationship. It’s not enough for someone to claim responsibility they have to tell you what they are responsibility so you understand their reasoning and whether there is true acknowledgement.

interesting that no one questions anything if I wrote what this poster wrote verbatim, the attitude would be totally different one more reason why men have no moral high ground over women.

 

[Atlrocafella]

this thread is still going.