Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[Youseenmywork]

As a woman, this is what scares me about getting married.

To me, in these times - people are quicker to leave - which depending on the marriage - it can be good or bad.

I have been in long-term relationships - where we wanted to take the next step - but then we would see friends and family who were together less time than we were -- get married and divorced - while we were still together.

Honestly, I'm OK with just being committed to each other - no paperwork - so when he's ready or I'm ready to be done. We can just do that.

Even living together, I prefer we both keep our own spots - makes things so much easier if things come to an end - or if someone needs some air.

if I were to say this nikkas on the board would call me all types of incels and say I hate women . I'm glad hear your relationship is going strong and hope it continues to work . You don't need paper work . I always said if I end up with a women for a long period of time I would just put a business I her name that way if we do split she'll have something . I think that we aren't living in traditional times anymore and need to stop thinking in a traditional manner .

 

[Youseenmywork]

Did covid19 and the effects of the pandemic accelerate the divorce?

Yes the divorce rate should see an 2 or 5 percentage increase starting next year ...

 

[-Quikness-]

better days ahead fellow coli breh .. stay positive and dikk down as many chicas as you can

 

[Youseenmywork]

youre gonna have visions of her bent over,
covered in sweat with her eyes rolling in
the back of her head and biting her bottom
lip while getting plowed out by some nikka
in gucci flip flops and her saying how she's
finally got somebody to make it hurt.
Let that shyt go breh.....one day at a time.

Fam not the Gucci flip flops thoe

 

[Youseenmywork]

very well said.
i learned the hard way as I think we all do when we get seriously invested into a woman.
I've been think about just staying single my whole life but that ain't really the wave I see myself on. I really don't wanna be hittin up chicks every weekend talkin about come over and chill when I'm in my 40s and up just for some ass or company.
You have no choice but to deal with the irrational emotional instability of a woman IF you choose to be with one.

It's always a choice ....

 

[Apollo Creed]

The bold sounds like you don't own a home or been responsible for running one by yourself. Being handy is just as much a requirement of "homemaking" as cleaning. With that one statement, in my eyes, you have expressed the hypocrisy of modern day men. You want a "traditional" woman to perform a litany of duties while the only thing you're offering is bill money in the form of long work hours. The financial part of any relationship is the EASIEST and I don't feel many of you are matching the level you want in return.

I own a home. Being handy means nothing in modern times due to technology + being in a financial position to handle issues when they arise. OPTING TO BEING A HOMEMAKER BUT NOT KNOWING HOW TO MANAGE A HOME HOW EVER MAKES NO SENSE.

 

[Youseenmywork]

For the fellas in here make sure she anit got no work husband

 

[FlyRy]

it's the worst

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

The bold sounds like you don't own a home or been responsible for running one by yourself. Being handy is just as much a requirement of "homemaking" as cleaning. With that one statement, in my eyes, you have expressed the hypocrisy of modern day men. You want a "traditional" woman to perform a litany of duties while the only thing you're offering is bill money in the form of long work hours. The financial part of any relationship is the EASIEST and I don't feel many of you are matching the level you want in return.

This is the problem with the small contingency..
Of female posters that actually post..
Y’all continuously goalpost move/shift blame..
To the narratives you have already confirmed in your head..
There is no middle ground with you all..
You only see things through your lens and that’s it..
One moment..
A man needs to be ambitious/financially secure..
So when brehs hit you with logic/debunk your hypocrisy/give you insight to the male mind..
Well you aren’t handy enough..
That’s the true sign of a real man..
Then when brehs give you that work again..
It’s more goalpost moving..
Y’all ain’t man enough anyways..
You want renaissance men but can’t even fix a nikka a turkey club sandwich..
Or..
Name his favorite drink..
You want a Superman that works on old time values..
But lord forbid if we ask you to iron our work shirt..
Women want equality without the luxury of accountability..
What man wants to come home to this type of thinking..
I know you will move goalposts again(you always do)..
Good Day..

 

[Astroslik]

If you are in a relationship and the other person is never around, not contributing to the relationship outside of work is it still relationship? Unless there is a goal and you had a conversation that sacrifices would need to be made for a period of time to achieve a certain goal.

If she was working constantly and coming home late all the time will the OP feel the same way? People are neglected in relationship and it is their responsibility to communicate that, but it doesnt justify cheating. And people do use work as an excuse not to cultivate a personal relationship or get out of home responsibilities.

i dont know how single childless women get with men who have kids, couldnt' be me.

Actually its not, men and women are not the same. A women paying all bills with a man in a home (outside of him losing his job or sickness) isnt healthy or sustainable dynamic in long term most situations.

That being said, there are million and 1 stories of women handling finances while their partners get on their feet inlcuding the OP.

i knew your would come in here and try flipping this on men. You’re so biased and one sided in these convos that I can’t even have legit dialogue with you.

And have you read the thread fully? A lot of points you make have been addressed or doesn’t pertain to the OP story

You came out the gate with the “I’m a woman hear me ROAR!!” Type shyt

 

[Astroslik]

Breh, I’ve come to accept you can’t reason with most women because you can’t fight emotion with logic.

Yeah you right Smfh.

 

[Youseenmywork]

And Modern men aren’t handy, bad with money, can’t fix cars, and barely focus on education, etc. Providing is more than money. Times are different, so we can’t expect either gender to behave the same as our grandparents.

Oh Jesus

 

[Astroslik]

My point was that when life events happen, such as new jobs with longer hours, babies, relatives needing aide,etc, there has to be understanding it COULD change the dynamic of the relationship and there should be some discussion/preparation around that. He wasn't a doctor or lawyer when the relationship started. Seems like he saw it as progression and she didn't and it created distance. As I stated before, there are few relationships that can be sustained where one person is working long hours, not even friendships, yet alone marriages.

I see what you’re saying. But I’m sure he let her know that he would be working more hours etc. she should have had an idea of his work and lifestyle.

 

[Youseenmywork]

handy means nothing though, the issue is being PRODUCTIVE. Everything you mentioned has nothing to do with production. Those may be ways to produce but in the age of technology none of this matters any more. Being a HOMEMAKER though is a specific field in the same instance of being a Mechanic. Even then Women of today usually lack the ability to be nurturing to another adult, because they dont see Men as their other half. At the end of the day nobody is perfect, a proper partnership one persons weakness should be offset/balanced by the strengths of the other person. Many women how ever sees what a Man isn't strong at being "that man aint sh*t". On the other hand for men, as long as he gets sex at a minimum probably isn't asking for much. The thing couples today lack the ability to do is simply say "we love each other, how do we make it past this obstacle together?", thats what vows are for. Instead though if people reach a roadblock they just dead the relationship.

Women ONLY see men as a UTILITY...they don't see us as human unfortunately

 

[StarClout]

What's the difference between a 4.0 and 4.6?