Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[MaxPain]

 

[Apollo Creed]

I don't think it's pre-tax. it's not healthcare or retirement. ur paying after taxes like any other bill.

I ask because Pretax money is always way more than Post Tax especially if you're a high earner, and then they dont factor in your other bills which can get messy.

 

[JQ Legend]

That bytch @Ya? is on her bullshyt again I see. That coward bytch has me on ignore, so you already know I had my share of exchanges with that feminazi. I can’t comment too much bc im feeling sick af today but I’ve been called her out. Keep in mind she’s either an LSA plant or a reject bytch blamenists. Tbh, I don’t see why women are even commenting on this thread. This is OP giving his opinion and experiences with his situation on man to man shyt. That’s why I haven’t posted in this thread - it’s not my place to tell a man how to think, feel or act in his personal relationship situation or give unsolicited advice. Bitter bytches like her come out in droves for the attention bc they like to see black men fail (in OPs case, he’s not doing bad and is actually self sustaining) which makes her even angrier so of course she’s in here to be disruptive and bring the energy down.

@Ya? and OPs wife share the same modus operandi ironically. Controlling, selfish, resentful and vindictive. As long as a man is doing bad, she’s feels that he NEEDS her so everything is even, she can control or mold him into her version pf himself. When OP finally woke up to her ways, he realized that no one, not even his wife, should have that much control over his emotions or how he feels about himself. But once a man becomes self sufficient it brings out their insecurities which makes them lash out or seek companionship, outside of the confines of their relationship as compensation. His working long hours or not paying her “enough attention” were just excuses for giving her a reason (an out). Clearly his ex, was jealous of him for his success instead of appreciating his contribution. She got comfortable - while he was working those long hours she could have been engaging in constructive opportunities like education, training at his side so they both reap the rewards and results. Instead she watched from the sidelines. Women who have no aspirations are a red flag bc they want you to fill the role bc she doesn’t feel complete herself. OP will rebound from this bc he has his head on right. He needs to find satisfaction and be complacent in that any future “relationship” that she (his Ex) has will fail bc those types of chicks are never satisfied with shyt, they have no substance, monetary items don’t buy peace of mind and vibe off attention seeking ways. Too much attention always backfires. OP won bc some men go to their graves broke, regretful and miserable bc they didn’t have strength to leave ain’t shyt women. If he worked himself to death she would probably laugh it off, spending his proceeds before his body was in the ground. His Ex functioned like an energy vampire.if anything - with his drive he would probably end up doing much better in life without the added extra weight and mental confusion. Anyway, I’m going back to bed, feel like shyt. that no account bytch @Ya? can stay stunting on boards at men with her neg rep , trying to cause division bc she knows the men that she liked or dealt with didn’t express her affection in return and knew she was only good for dividing her legs.

Gooooot muthafukkin damn

You never cease to show me why I fukks with you

 

[buzzkill]

I worked...she did for a lil bit but went out on sick leave
So now I have to handle anything....
Now when its time to go back to work she got comfortable being at home....
Mind you she has NO KIDS...
but she wants to keep up with the joneses...
Now the more i worked the less attention she gets....hell i wanna sit back lay wood and play 2k all day but bills gotta get paid...
So i imagine the 5 bdrm bouse 2 cars...fence dog n shyt...wasnt good enough....she had to see if the grass was greener on the other side

im 27 at the age where settling down kinda sounds nice but these women nowadays boah...

Do you think the whole marriage thing that we've been sold is a farce?

 

[Abraxus]

In the game of life, everyone gets got. Whether it happens when you’re younger or when you’re older. Nothing to do with being smart.


But hey, you probably looking for daps

When you running the race in the game of life everybody will take a turn, get knocked down and be the fool. How it goes.next time around somebody may get got by you. No exceptions to the rule. Rich, white, black, etc. Mfs who say they never lost or been in a tight or losing situation I’d say live long enough. You’ll get yo turn too.



“be not a fool as temporary king of the mountain top”

 

[Deep_Black_Conscious]

Yup this only works if you are married. This is why women press so hard to get married. They know they can flip the script and get comfortable because it's so much for a man to lose in a divorce.

It's amazing how if I have a probably with a woman I'm dating, how quick she will change when I say you can kick rocks. They know they hold no leverage whatsoever in the dating game.

breh I've been telling people this but they keep saying just choose better or try to shame you into marriage like I don't know what I'd be getting into
that's what it is all about for many of them
gaining leverage

 

[Youseenmywork]

In the past, women were TRAINED to be homemakers, mainly through force and from a young age. I’m sorry women are no longer being forced to marry some 40 year old at 15 or born into a poor family with a slew of kids, that the older ones are responsible for.

Y’all want a woman to be traditional while y’all apply toxic, westernized ideals of male leadership and confused why there is an issue. Very few of y’all are even raising your daughters to be home makers, yet mad at women today for not being them.

YOU are a EXTREMIST ...this is the problem (men and women) .What is this with women who think "men want to put the foot on thy neck" and "oppress us" that is some victim shyt . It just like a man that says "man I got a degree I got a nice car and a nice house ...I dont know why I can't get the women I want ' cause you stupid nikka that's. White people patriarch and white women's feminism is has nothing to do with black men and women . Black men are not judge like white men are . White men are judged based resources . While a black man is judge on his ability to get money but hes also judged on swag (personality) style intellect etc. Another thing its women job to mold they daughters into wives . If the mother anit wife material good luck to you. A lot you have father issues and dont want to take that up with him no man can help any women with what she went threw when she was six ...miss dead on the inside . STOP using this excuse that ' yall men dont want good women and good wives yall want slaves" FOH . Nothing gets a women going like when a man says some EXTREMIST shyt ....that you shouldn't even respond to .

 

[Astroslik]

Did you see her response to me?

She starts off pretending to be innocent then proceeds to place all the blame on him again. She literally starts off saying she’s not blaming him then spent every sentence after implying he’s wrong because he had 2 kids from a failed relationship.

And that was her being “objective”

Maybe us men be on the mans side sometimes but we’ll be quick to say a dude is wrong when he is. A man got a good woman and don’t appreciate her we be quick to hit him with the

The only women here who hold women accountable are @Nicole0416 and @HarlemHottie

This shyt is ridiculous

And what really gets me is women are wild catty and petty towards one another but form like voltron when it comes to defending one against a straight man

@Elle Driver too

 

[Astroslik]

I actually offically got out after 14 years last spring 2019. however, I kept the house cuz I had more money and simply bought out her equity. however, she never paid the mortgage or down payment, so it's still a major L. also I'm paying $1500 for 2 kids. however, one kid will be 18 in less than a year, so she technically comes off the books. other than that, I don't regret us splitting up, cuz we both had enough of each other. I'm just happy, that even after paying her, I'm still able to survive on my salary while still preserving a sizeable nest egg to boot.

however, after getting free, getting women is surprisingly easy though.

Damn breh I didn’t know you had a divorce. Is that why you moved to Texas? Get away from her ass?

 

[beenz]

Damn breh I didn’t know you had a divorce. Is that why you moved to Texas? Get away from her ass?

nah man. she got a job there and kinda had to transfer. then we all followed her down cuz I worked from home at the time and lost my job. then I immediately found a job down there in like 3 weeks, so we moved down.

I hated it (but stayed down for a year and some change), and the relationship was going to shyt.

so I ended up finding an even better paying job here and moved back since I never sold our house while we were gone. then we split up. we couldn't even agree on where to live amongst a plethora of other things.

 

[JQ Legend]

im 27 at the age where settling down kinda sounds nice but these women nowadays boah...

Do you think the whole marriage thing that we've been sold is a farce?

Breh I’m 38, trust me 27 is way younger than you think

Enjoy life don’t worry bout getting tied down

Don’t get me wrong there are some good women out there and if u meet one you vibe with, handle your business. That don’t mean marry her but don’t fukk up a good thing

Until that day comes just do you breh

 

[jwonder]

you gotta be careful because her not coming to you with issues could just mean she is internalizing them.

False. American women especially are notorious for acting like a victim and over exaggerating things. You get them to act like adults, not kids when you do that. Every little thing isn't drama class. He's not talking about serious issues, just the whole fake drama they do.

 

[Oldschooler]

nah man. she got a job there and kinda had to transfer. then we all followed her down cuz I worked from home at the time and lost my job. then I immediately found a job down there in like 3 weeks, so we moved down.

I hated it (but stayed down for a year and some change), and the relationship was going to shyt.

so I ended up finding an even better paying job here and moved back since I never sold our house while we were gone. then we split up. we couldn't even agree on where to live amongst a plethora of other things.

What made your relationship deteriorate if you don't mind me asking. I guess you must of had your kid before you got married. In hindsight do you think having a kid before marriage kind of forces the issue and pressures you into a marriage that you might not necessarily want to be in?

 

[International Playa]

@beaniemac I cant believe u got divorced. Are you the nurse dude? I been following you since SOHH days.

How you finding the dating scene since u got divorced?

 

[FaTaL]

Was she seeing a personal trainer

Or was it her work husband?