Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[FocusedDaily]

fukked up but true. They have no relationship equity. Everything is about how they currently feel at the moment. Which is why when that ''feeling'' is over the realization hits them hard. Their truth is in their emotions. How they feel is their truth. So because she feels it, its true.

Once you learn their true nature you become angry, then you just accept it for what it is.

Realest thing ever. The only reason I've lasted this long with my girl is from the jump I never accepted her coming to me with emotional BS. Every time just had to drilling it into her, "is this rational or are you being a girl right now". And it took a couple years, but it seriously cut 90% of the nonsense out of our relationship, because she would not come to me tripping off emotion cause she knew I'd dismantle her argument no matter how loud or teary she'd get if it was just "feelings" without facts. She still does annoying stuff, so nothings perfect, but the fact that she now stops to reflect before coming to me with nonsense was a game changer.

I'm open to any discussion dialogue or argument, but I can't fight feelings. Better have a logical argument cause tears and a dream won't do it.

 

[Apollo Creed]

It's a converted garage. AC is usually a window one.

a garage in someones home? or like a building full of like storage units converted to cheap "housing"?

 

[Apollo Creed]

Realest thing ever. The only reason I've lasted this long with my girl is from the jump I never accepted her coming to me with emotional BS. Every time just had to drilling it into her, "is this rational or are you being a girl right now". And it took a couple years, but it seriously cut 90% of the nonsense out of our relationship, because she would not come to me tripping off emotion cause she knew I'd dismantle her argument no matter how loud or teary she'd get if it was just "feelings" without facts. She still does annoying stuff, so nothings perfect, but the fact that she now stops to reflect before coming to me with nonsense was a game changer.

I'm open to any discussion dialogue or argument, but I can't fight feelings. Better have a logical argument cause tears and a dream won't do it.

you gotta be careful because her not coming to you with issues could just mean she is internalizing them.

 

[jwonder]

fukked up but true. They have no relationship equity. Everything is about how they currently feel at the moment. Which is why when that ''feeling'' is over the realization hits them hard. Their truth is in their emotions. How they feel is their truth. So because she feels it, its true.

Once you learn their true nature you become angry, then you just accept it for what it is.

Yup this only works if you are married. This is why women press so hard to get married. They know they can flip the script and get comfortable because it's so much for a man to lose in a divorce.

It's amazing how if I have a probably with a woman I'm dating, how quick she will change when I say you can kick rocks. They know they hold no leverage whatsoever in the dating game.

 

[jwonder]

a garage in someones home? or like a building full of like storage units converted to cheap "housing"?

Somebody's house

 

[mamba]

Any woman that defend every woman no matter what is a feminist knowingly or not, steer very care of them. Never date them. They're infallible.

Feminism is teaching women that all their actions are justifiable and its a man fault they did it. They are never wrong.

Right. Almost anything that happens bad to a woman can be traced back to something a man did wrong, according to radical feminists.

 

[jwonder]

Realest thing ever. The only reason I've lasted this long with my girl is from the jump I never accepted her coming to me with emotional BS. Every time just had to drilling it into her, "is this rational or are you being a girl right now". And it took a couple years, but it seriously cut 90% of the nonsense out of our relationship, because she would not come to me tripping off emotion cause she knew I'd dismantle her argument no matter how loud or teary she'd get if it was just "feelings" without facts. She still does annoying stuff, so nothings perfect, but the fact that she now stops to reflect before coming to me with nonsense was a game changer.

I'm open to any discussion dialogue or argument, but I can't fight feelings. Better have a logical argument cause tears and a dream won't do it.

I'm very similar. I don't put up with the emotional bullshyt. If every man were like this, American women would act more logical. Too many men let women get away with shyt because she is a woman. They treat women like big ass kids, instead of responsible results.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Did you see her response to me?

She starts off pretending to be innocent then proceeds to place all the blame on him again. She literally starts off saying she’s not blaming him then spent every sentence after implying he’s wrong because he had 2 kids from a failed relationship.

And that was her being “objective”

Maybe us men be on the mans side sometimes but we’ll be quick to say a dude is wrong when he is. A man got a good woman and don’t appreciate her we be quick to hit him with the

The only women here who hold women accountable are @Nicole0416 and @HarlemHottie

This shyt is ridiculous

And what really gets me is women are wild catty and petty towards one another but form like voltron when it comes to defending one against a straight man

That bytch @Ya? is on her bullshyt again I see. That coward bytch has me on ignore, so you already know I had my share of exchanges with that feminazi. I can’t comment too much bc im feeling sick af today but I’ve been called her out. Keep in mind she’s either an LSA plant or a reject bytch blamenists. Tbh, I don’t see why women are even commenting on this thread. This is OP giving his opinion and experiences with his situation on man to man shyt. That’s why I haven’t posted in this thread - it’s not my place to tell a man how to think, feel or act in his personal relationship situation or give unsolicited advice. Bitter bytches like her come out in droves for the attention bc they like to see black men fail (in OPs case, he’s not doing bad and is actually self sustaining) which makes her even angrier so of course she’s in here to be disruptive and bring the energy down.

@Ya? and OPs wife share the same modus operandi ironically. Controlling, selfish, resentful and vindictive. As long as a man is doing bad, she’s feels that he NEEDS her so everything is even, she can control or mold him into her version pf himself. When OP finally woke up to her ways, he realized that no one, not even his wife, should have that much control over his emotions or how he feels about himself. But once a man becomes self sufficient it brings out their insecurities which makes them lash out or seek companionship, outside of the confines of their relationship as compensation. His working long hours or not paying her “enough attention” were just excuses for giving her a reason (an out). Clearly his ex, was jealous of him for his success instead of appreciating his contribution. She got comfortable - while he was working those long hours she could have been engaging in constructive opportunities like education, training at his side so they both reap the rewards and results. Instead she watched from the sidelines. Women who have no aspirations are a red flag bc they want you to fill the role bc she doesn’t feel complete herself. OP will rebound from this bc he has his head on right. He needs to find satisfaction and be complacent in that any future “relationship” that she (his Ex) has will fail bc those types of chicks are never satisfied with shyt, they have no substance, monetary items don’t buy peace of mind and vibe off attention seeking ways. Too much attention always backfires. OP won bc some men go to their graves broke, regretful and miserable bc they didn’t have strength to leave ain’t shyt women. If he worked himself to death she would probably laugh it off, spending his proceeds before his body was in the ground. His Ex functioned like an energy vampire.if anything - with his drive he would probably end up doing much better in life without the added extra weight and mental confusion. Anyway, I’m going back to bed, feel like shyt. that no account bytch @Ya? can stay stunting on boards at men with her neg rep , trying to cause division bc she knows the men that she liked or dealt with didn’t express her affection in return and knew she was only good for dividing her legs.

 

[Bless't]

if you count BOTH of my marriages i made 12 years....

i been there breh.....

you'll be aight

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Y’all are very hypocritical here. You don’t offer up any traditional qualities of men, yet want it in women. I’ve learned these discussions are useless. Men and women today are not on the same page and have no desire to get there. The funniest part is both are having the SAME issue, it’s just the perspective and inability to understand the other perspective where the divide occurs.

Nope..
Because women want all these benefits without doing any work..
You want no smoke and all capitulation..
You don’t want to compromise..
You don’t want to hear men stories..
You don’t want to communicate effectively..
You don’t want us to acknowledge our trauma..
You know and I know that if any man shows vulnerability..
You lose some sort of attraction..
Women don’t want to accept that our natures are just different..
And that it’s okay..
You want a man to be ambitious but not too ambitious..
And when things don’t go your way..
You diddy bop out with half out of spite..
But I know you will just say that’s broke boi speak
Because you don’t want to acknowledge the fukkery of the courts..
Are heavily in your favor...

In the past, women were TRAINED to be homemakers, mainly through force and from a young age. I’m sorry women are no longer being forced to marry some 40 year old at 15 or born into a poor family with a slew of kids, that the older ones are responsible for.

Y’all want a woman to be traditional while y’all apply toxic, westernized ideals of male leadership and confused why there is an issue. Very few of y’all are even raising your daughters to be home makers, yet mad at women today for not being them.

Now you are just being an extremist
I know you don’t go around your big momma saying this propaganda filled lunacy
Sure you could say some women were belabored into servitude...
But come on now..
Most older women take honor in knowing their families recipes..
Further more..
Big momma, ma dukes and aunties..
Were not afforded the luxury of not being able to do for self..
Or..
Be lazy around the house after school..
Ain’t no way you grew up thinking like this..
Women take pride in having a clean home and inviting people over for entertainment..
Now that a modern man wants a home cooked meal..
It’s destroy the patriarchy/matriarchy
At this point..
Trying to engage a female coli poster..
Is like yelling into a well just to hear your echo..
I can empathize/sympathize with women all day..
I’m not against women but I’m against the goalpost moving..
And clear gaslighting technics y’all are really good at using..
Y’all ain’t slick..
Get your troll game up better tho..
You know who you are
At the end of the day..
You come into male dominated spaces..
Not wanting to listen or engage in fruitful dialogue..
You just want nikkas to cow tow and hold our tongues..
Which begs the question..
Why post here
I’m all for female presence..
But these arguments are so damn one sided..
Y’all can’t even admit that some brehs go through hell in life with y’all..
And before you say vice verse..
A lot of brehs(including myself)
Have told our scumbag stories..
Only to voice our displeasure in past activities..
And try to offer insight into what was going on in our lives at that moment..
Trying to bring introspection when these topics come up..
Do female posters try to do the same..
Or..
Just continuously bask in victim hood
I will leave you alone from now on

 

[Ya?]

Wow. The irrational reason of the modern woman on full display here.
If the financial part is the easiest it’s only fair the woman take ownership of that then while the man stays home and becomes the home maker.

Some women do that, and some men devalue the work it takes top take care of a home. Even many some women do today.
Because in a capitalistic society, finances is the only attributed value.

 

[mamba]

That bytch @Ya? is on her bullshyt again I see. That coward bytch has me on ignore, so you already know I had my share of exchanges with that feminazi. I can’t comment too much bc im feeling sick af today but I’ve been called her out. Keep in mind she’s either an LSA plant or a reject bytch blamenists. Tbh, I don’t see why women are even commenting on this thread. This is OP giving his opinion and experiences with his situation on man to man shyt. That’s why I haven’t posted in this thread - it’s not my place to tell a man how to think, feel or act in his personal relationship situation or give unsolicited advice. Bitter bytches like her come out in droves for the attention bc they like to see black men fail (in OPs case, he’s not doing bad and is actually self sustaining) which makes her even angrier so of course she’s in here to be disruptive and bring the energy down.

@Ya? and OPs wife share the same modus operandi ironically. Controlling, selfish, resentful and vindictive. As long as a man is doing bad, she’s feels that he NEEDS her so everything is even, she can control or mold him into her version pf himself. When OP finally woke up to her wats, he realized that no one, not even his wife, should have that much control over his emotions or how he feels about himself. But once a man becomes self sufficient it brings out their insecurities which makes them lash out or seek companionship, outside of the confines of their relationship as compensation. His working long hours or not paying her “enough attention” we’re just excuses for giving her a reason (an out). Clearly his ex, was jealous of him for his success instead of appreciating his contribution. She got comfortable - while he was working those long hours she could have been engaging in constructive opportunities like education, training at his side so they both reap the rewards and results. Instead she watched from the sidelines. Women who have no aspirations are a red flag bc they want you to fill the role bc she doesn’t feel complete herself. OP will rebound from this bc he has his head on right. He needs to find satisfaction and be complacent in that any future “relationship” that she (his Ex) has will fail bc those types of chicks are never satisfied with shyt, they have no substance, monetary items don’t buy peace of mind and vibe off attention seeking ways. Too much attention always backfires. OP won bc some men go to their graves broke, regretful and miserable bc they didn’t have strength to leave ain’t shyt women. If he worked himself to death she would probably laugh it off, spending his proceeds before his body was in the ground. His Ex functioned like an energy vampire.if anything - with his drive he would probably end up doing much better in life without the added extra weight and mental confusion. Anyway, I’m going back to bed, feel like shyt. that no account bytch @Ya? can stay stunting on boards at men with her neg rep , trying to cause division bc she knows the men that she liked or dealt with didn’t express her affection in return and knew she was only good for dividing her legs.

@Nicole0416 back with another classic post. One of the most level-headed women I’ve ever seen on this forum!

Hold this rep.

 

[Ya?]

Nope..
Because women want all these benefit without doing any work..
You want no smoke and all capitulation..
You don’t want to compromise..
You don’t want to hear men stories..
You don’t want to communicate effectively..
You don’t want us to acknowledge our trauma..
You know and I know that if any man shows vulnerability..
You lose some sort of attraction..
Women don’t want to accept that our natures are just different..
And that it’s okay..
You want a man to be ambitious but not too ambitious..
And when things don’t go your way..
You diddy bop out with half out of spite..
But I know you will just say that’s broke boi speak
Because you don’t want to acknowledge the fukkery of the courts..
Are heavily in your favor...


Now you are just being an extremist
I know you don’t go around your big momma saying this propaganda filled lunacy
Sure you could say some women were belabored into servitude...
But come on now..
Most older women take honor in knowing their families recipes..
Further more..
Big momma, ma dukes and aunties..
Were no afforded the luxury of not being able to do for self..
Or..
Be lazy around the house after school..
Ain’t no way you grew up thinking like this..
Women take pride in having a clean home and inviting people over for entertainment..
Now that a modern man wants a home cooked meal..
It’s destroy the matriarchy
At this point..
Trying to engage a female coli poster..
Is like yelling into a well just to hear your echo..
I can empathize/sympathize with women all day..
I’m not against women but I’m against the goalpost moving..
And clear gaslighting technics y’all are really good at using..
Y’all ain’t slick..
Get your troll game up better tho..
You know who you are
At the end of the day..
You come into male dominated spaces..
Not wanting to listen or engage in fruitful dialogue..
You just want to nikkas to cow tow and hold our tongues..
Which begs the question..
Why post here
I’m all for female presence..
But these arguments are so damn one sided..
Y’all can’t even admit that some brehs go through hell in life with y’all..
And before you say vice verse..
A lot of brehs(including myself)
Have told our scumbag stories..
Only to voice our displeasure in past activities..
And try to offer insight into what was going on in our lives at that moment..
Trying to bring introspection when these topics come up..
Do female posters try to do the same..
Or..
Just continuously bask in victim hood
I will leave you alone from now on

What fruitful dialogue can you engage in when everything is about women being damaged and not being able to hold a relationship? What fruitful dialogue did you present in this post and the post above?

The posters who are considered just rarely make their presence known in these thread or keep their responses very short because they know if they say anything that appears critical they be accused of being feminist.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

What fruitful dialogue can you engage in when everything is about women being damaged and not being able to hold a relationship? What fruitful dialogue did you present in this post and the post above?

The posters who are considered just rarely make their presence known in these thread or keep their responses very short because they know if they say anything that appears critical they be accused of being feminist.

Liar. They keep their answers short because they know dumb affected bytches like you showing up on threads who deflect from accountability will start sowing discord on this thread and create a hostile approach causing negativity that most normal minded females don’t want to be a part of.

 

[DreadBrown]

So many armchair relationship counsellors in this thread

What fruitful dialogue can you engage in when everything is about women being damaged and not being able to hold a relationship? What fruitful dialogue did you present in this post and the post above?

The posters who are considered just rarely make their presence known in these thread or keep their responses very short because they know if they say anything that appears critical they be accused of being feminist.

it wasnt everything though, it was one post in a 8 page thread.

You in here being deliberately obtuse derailing this mans thread