What about when God told dude to impregnate his deceased brother wife but he pulled out on some G shyt and god killed him on the spot.
He was like p*ssy and killed that nikka
He was like p*ssy and killed that nikka
Low-key the Old Testament was kinda Lit....Mad Entertaining
- Thread starter Axolotl
- Start date
Man, Exodus is the funniest. God was gonna kill them all so many times but Moses always stepped in on some 
Moses had hell dealing with them, trying and failing to keep them in line. He messed up one time and couldn't go to the promised land
I'm still salty about that, let that man in! Hasn't he suffered enough?
Old Testiment God was ruthless, he'd strike you out without a 2nd thought. New Testament is full of forgiveness. I swear, you'd think they were 2 different Gods.
Moses had hell dealing with them, trying and failing to keep them in line. He messed up one time and couldn't go to the promised land
I'm still salty about that, let that man in! Hasn't he suffered enough?Old Testiment God was ruthless, he'd strike you out without a 2nd thought. New Testament is full of forgiveness. I swear, you'd think they were 2 different Gods.
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Jehovah was on some Jprince shyt.....
Like a street pastor once told me
God used Jesus as his PR person for damage control caused in the old testament
And offered Grace (a pass) to people
Cauze Jehovah aint had no patience and wasnt about to sit there and reason with folks....
With God ...it was on site
"If a n1gga run a stop light...penalty is DEATH!!!"-
Robin Harris
Like a street pastor once told me
God used Jesus as his PR person for damage control caused in the old testament
And offered Grace (a pass) to people
Cauze Jehovah aint had no patience and wasnt about to sit there and reason with folks....
With God ...it was on site
"If a n1gga run a stop light...penalty is DEATH!!!"-
Robin Harris
at The booty goons from sodom trying to rape the angels
the old testament is messy/crazy af
Exactly, I would have served those Angels on a silver platter before I'd let a mob ravage my kids? WHO offers up their kids to a mob of angry men?
A dude that knew that those booty bandits didn't want any women. Those booty bandits were basically this moafucaka:
Man, Exodus is the funniest. God was gonna kill them all so many times but Moses always stepped in on some
Moses had hell dealing with them, trying and failing to keep them in line. He messed up one time and couldn't go to the promised land
Old Testiment God was ruthless, he'd strike you out without a 2nd thought. New Testament is full of forgiveness. I swear, you'd think they were 2 different Gods.
EXODUS IS HILAROUS!!!...
i was reading this esoteric breakdown of the burning bush in the HIRAM KEY book...
it basically said God really wanted moses and the jews to get away from egypt cause they were practicing alot of sorcery and magic...
so when God appeared unto Moses in the form of a burning bush...he had to put Moses in check
cause God knew that when magis (magicians) during that time wanted power of an object or being they needed to know its name
so Moses asked ..."What's your name?"
god simply said ...I AM THAT I AM
So moses kept asking him about his name
and God basically said...'i told ya hardheaded azz I AM THAT I AM.........basically NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!..now do what the hell i say and keep it moving!!"
God had alot of patience with Moses and his brother Aaron i think they were making lean from the water of the Red Sea
OfTheCross
Veteran
nikkas thought i was playing back then
YeLovesBoston
Superstar
David was a don
at God hand out them old testament L's had me 
as a kid
Old Testament is probally the earliest documentation of the HARD ON HOES dogma
"THESE HOES BE ACTING UP ...CAUSE ADAM AND THE GENTILES BE LETTING EM!!!!!!!!!"
ADAM got kicked out the damn
house cause he listen to that Broad and her pimp Satan
The overall theme of the OT:
DONT PUT SHYT PASS NO HOE
"THESE HOES BE ACTING UP ...CAUSE ADAM AND THE GENTILES BE LETTING EM!!!!!!!!!"
ADAM got kicked out the damn
house cause he listen to that Broad and her pimp Satan
The overall theme of the OT:
DONT PUT SHYT PASS NO HOE
And the reason Absalom rebelled was he was mad that David didn't punish his other son Ammon for rapeing his half sister Tamar and Absalom found out and set him up to kill Ammon when David banned Absalom for a while after killing ammon he lost all respect for his father which started the rebellion....So David new all this mess was a judgement for his bad decisions with Bathsheba.
Psalm 137:9 ‘Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks’?"
Psalm 137:9 ‘Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks’?"
a statement against Child Support?!?levitate
I love you, you know.
Yeah the Old Testament is basically a Game of Thrones prequel.
When the daughters decided to drug and fukk their father...
When God didn't like Cain's gift and Cain got mad and shyt...
When God decided to kill everyone on the Earth except Noah's family by fukking drowning them...
The amount of slaves/servants...
You know who wrote the Bible:
When the daughters decided to drug and fukk their father...
When God didn't like Cain's gift and Cain got mad and shyt...
When God decided to kill everyone on the Earth except Noah's family by fukking drowning them...
The amount of slaves/servants...
You know who wrote the Bible:
