Modern Rites of Passage for boys

[HarlemHottie]

For me I'm currently:

Enrolled in a martial art
Starting to learn how to cook basics
Taking up more responsibilities within my household
Would be good to learn how to do DIY basics but no idea where to start

Any more ideas are appreciated, will put some into practice and let you know the progress @Matt504

I categorize this thread as one of those that don't really need my interference, but I can help with this one. My man learned everything he knows about DIY from my brother and yt (neither of us were really raised to be 'domestic'). He now upkeeps the lawn, just fixed some broken concrete on the property, recently fixed the doorbell, etc, etc. He be getting shyt done, and look so proud! Its cute to me.

So yeah, yt. Good luck!

 

[Neuromancer]

I categorize this thread as one of those that don't really need my interference, but I can help with this one. My man learned everything he knows about DIY from my brother and yt (neither of us were really raised to be 'domestic'). He now upkeeps the lawn, just fixed some broken concrete on the property, recently fixed the doorbell, etc, etc. He be getting shyt done, and look so proud! Its cute to me.

So yeah, yt. Good luck!

YT can be a great resource. My brother got a box cutter jammed while cutting boxes for recycling at our house. He asked me to fix it and I pulled out my tools and got to work. Wasn't working like it should so I went to YT and it was really helpful. Box Cutter fixed.

 

[Iceson Beckford]

My man learned everything he knows about DIY from my brother and yt (neither of us were really raised to be 'domestic'). He now upkeeps the lawn, just fixed some broken concrete on the property, recently fixed the doorbell, etc, etc. He be getting shyt done, and look so proud! Its cute to me.

Appreciate this,

Glad to see you let him grow and develop and didn’t hold it against him.

For me, I’m the youngest by far so my older brothers took care of most things and my dad never taught me shyt so

 

[Double Burger With Cheese]

My uncle took me aside and told me that I would go through a right of passage to manhood with my peers. After which I was no longer a child and had to carry myself differently and would have different expectations. It helps that this is usually done in groups so it's not up to individual parents or home.

A bonding experience that has the same effect as getting jumped in with a gang but with a positive twist. So we all understood our expectations and how to carry ourselves going forward as young men. It gives you a mature outlook on life. We don't have the ideals of teenagehood traditionally in African cultures and in that era it was not uncommon for people to go to work after 8th grade. I came to Canada in 9th grade.

My maturity level was years above my peers on this side. It was actually a trip. 8th graders back home moved like College kids mentally and already had goals and direction by 9th grade. I was working since 14 holding myself down even though I lived at home. Parents NEVER had to check up on my school performance attendance or give me an allowance.. fully autonomous. That's the value in the direction and guidance received

And you still turned out to be a goofy and addicted to Khat

 

[mag357]

Not to derail
But Bro... These boys (and girls) don't even have fathers.
We have to start there.
So the Rights of passage don't even have to be big specific events, just being around the man who loves you and cares about your upbringing.

The passing down of CULTURE is the most important thing.
Our culture has been dismantled several times.
African culture, then conservative black family culture, then hip hop culture.

(You could say hip hop culture killed black family culture but for a short time there was a bit of a blend of both)

 

[RickyDiBiase]

Boy scouts don't exist anymore do they?

They do my nephew is one

 

[WIA20XX]

Not to derail
But Bro... These boys (and girls) don't even have fathers.
We have to start there.
So the Rights of passage don't even have to be big specific events, just being around the man who loves you and cares about your upbringing.

The passing down of CULTURE is the most important thing.
Our culture has been dismantled several times.
African culture, then conservative black family culture, then hip hop culture.

(You could say hip hop culture killed black family culture but for a short time there was a bit of a blend of both)

It's just like formal education. We, outsiders, can't fix the parents, we can only fix the schools.

With an idea like a rites of passage, we can't do anything about fathers that ran out.

We have to deal with the situation as it is, not the one we wish we had.

 

[OfTheCross]

Brother @Matt504 brought up a good point in the gang initiation thread.



What modern Rites of Passage can we or have we developed for our boys. To present the restless inclinations?

I'm working on something like this for my kids...

1 idea I saw is to have them complete 1 task a week or month before their 13th bday followed by a great gift of their choosing and recognition of their manliness.

I have a list of things I'm working on that a man should be able to do...

 

[Neuromancer]

I'm working on something like this for my kids...

1 idea I saw is to have them complete 1 task a week or month before their 13th bday followed by a great gift of their choosing and recognition of their manliness.

I have a list of things I'm working on that a man should be able to do...

This is a good idea.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

And you still turned out to be a goofy and addicted to Khat

I never fukked with that natural meth. But the fresh bundles smell lovely in transit. I been addicted to p*ssy and money all my life brother nothing else

 

[Matt504]

His point is that many "deficiencies" that black boys have is due in part to them coming up in a racist system that targets them more than any other group. Period. Even more so, many of the very same studies that are used to show how poorly black boys are doing and are used as justifications for what amounts to calls for remedial education for black boys social consequences be damned are based off of black boy's performance in a racist system that targets them in the first place. It's like trusting the judgment of a racist on anything involving a black person. It makes little sense. Everything I see mentioned is done to ignore the ones being racist and put the blame on the black boys. One might as well say it is because they are inferior, not because the system actively works to sabotage them. It's almost like saying an immigrant child does better than a lot of ADOS children because ADOS kids aren't ready. And while I understand that fixing the system in itself is much harder and that solutions should be had to counter the effects until then, creating a system that effectively punishes these boys is not a good one. Home-schooling in itself could probably be better or a long-term planning approach to education that I underwent would be a lot better.

In any case, people should sit down and talk to these boys. they'll find that many of them are normal people and many of them are quite bright and the main issue being that no one takes their issues seriously nor no one helps them understand that the world, for the most part, is actually against them. Much of the stuff we see in gang violence and so on is them attempting to create their own micro-societies where their concerns are heard and understood. The initiations there exist to weed out posers that would threaten their groups. The rites of passage that many people are talking about here won't take hold or mean anything if the concerns of these boys is not considered.

Again, I'm talking about developmental differences rooted in biology, you guys are talking about teachers with biases against Black boys. I am not disagreeing that this is something Black boys face because they are Black and male, the developmental differences I'm covering here is because they are male and this impacts males of all races. The idea isn't to red shirt Black boys but rather ALL boys.

Who redshirts? | Brookings

In a recent Atlantic article, “Redshirt the Boys,” I argue that boys should start school a year later than girls, on the grounds that on average they mature more slowly. This is one of a number of proposals to create a more male-friendly education system described in my new book Of Boys and Men...

www.brookings.edu

 

[Neuromancer]

It's just like formal education. We, outsiders, can't fix the parents, we can only fix the schools.

With an idea like a rites of passage, we can't do anything about fathers that ran out.

We have to deal with the situation as it is, not the one we wish we had.

That last part is the biggest thing. We cannot wait for other people to get with the program.

 

[High Art]

Again, I'm talking about developmental differences rooted in biology, you guys are talking about teachers with biases against Black boys. I am not disagreeing that this is something Black boys face because they are Black and male, the developmental differences I'm covering here is because they are male and this impacts males of all races. The idea isn't to red shirt Black boys but rather ALL boys.

Who redshirts? | Brookings

In a recent Atlantic article, “Redshirt the Boys,” I argue that boys should start school a year later than girls, on the grounds that on average they mature more slowly. This is one of a number of proposals to create a more male-friendly education system described in my new book Of Boys and Men...

www.brookings.edu

And we're telling you that despite these biological differences that have existed for centuries, boys and men have been doing fine until recently and further does not discount enough for the boys that do well and even more, does not solve the racial issues that black boys have to deal with. And targeting all boys is even worse in some ways because, again, it sends the wrong message to them and uses "science" as a justification for it. Might as well bring in race and IQ studies as well into the mix. It reminds me of the redpill people and their arguments for why women are inferior. That shyt is literal science too.

In any case, there is no way this would end well because from the beginning, we're telling boys that they are essentially inferior from the start and somehow expect them to operate within this system along side other women and not think this will not cause problems. I mean really.

 

[Matt504]

And we're telling you that despite these biological differences that have existed for centuries, boys and men have been doing fine until recently and further does not discount enough for the boys that do well and even more, does not solve the racial issues that black boys have to deal with. And targeting all boys is even worse in some ways because, again, it sends the wrong message to them and uses "science" as a justification for it. Might as well bring in race and IQ studies as well into the mix. It reminds me of the redpill people and their arguments for why women are inferior. That shyt is literal science too.

In any case, there is no way this would end well because from the beginning, we're telling boys that they are essentially inferior from the start and somehow expect them to operate within this system along side other women and not think this will not cause problems. I mean really.

This is why I'm laboring here to make a clear distinction about what I'm addressing in my comments. Redshirting isn't meant to address the racism Black boys face in schools, that's a completely separate issue. I'm talking about specifically about developmental differences between boys (of all races) and girls (of all races) and how delaying boys' debut into kindergarten leads to BETTER outcomes for boys, it has the best outcomes for the most disadvantaged boys.

The overall picture is clear. Children from more affluent homes, and/or with more educated parents are much more likely to be redshirted. White or Asian children are more likely to be redshirted compared to Black or Hispanic children, and boys are more likely to be redshirted than girls (see below). Rates are also higher in private compared to public schools.

There is evidence that a delayed start is especially valuable for children from a less advantaged background, including research from Elizabeth Cascio and Diane Schanzenbach. As they write: “These results—stronger age effects for low-income students—stand in contrast to the observed patterns in which higher-income children are substantially more likely to be redshirted.”

First in the Class? Age and the Education Production Function

Abstract. We estimate the effects of relative age in kindergarten using data from an experiment where children of the same age were randomly assigned to different kindergarten classmates. We exploit the resulting experimental variation in relative age in conjunction with variation in expected...

direct.mit.edu

 

[High Art]

This is why I'm laboring here to make a clear distinction about what I'm addressing in my comments. Redshirting isn't meant to address the racism Black boys face in schools, that's a completely separate issue. I'm talking about specifically about developmental differences between boys (of all races) and girls (of all races) and how delaying boys' debut into kindergarten leads to BETTER outcomes for boys, it has the best outcomes for the most disadvantaged boys.

First in the Class? Age and the Education Production Function

Abstract. We estimate the effects of relative age in kindergarten using data from an experiment where children of the same age were randomly assigned to different kindergarten classmates. We exploit the resulting experimental variation in relative age in conjunction with variation in expected...

direct.mit.edu

And again, you're trying to blame a recent trend that was not an issue before on a biological issue that must have existed for decades to centuries instead of the more likely issue of a more recent change in education, society, or the home. You're essentially using a correlation to imply causation and pushing a drastic change in how boys are raised and educated based on this correlation. Unless the biological changes are recent (in which case we should be asking why and how), your proposal makes no sense at all.