Texasdymond
Banned
I think that getting a service animal is a great idea. Get her a cute little yorkie or something.
my girls depression has gotten so bad that I don't want to be around her
- Thread starter Dad
- Start date
-
- Tags
- depression
My girl goes through depression, bi-polar states and it can be really difficult because I'm generally a happy dude who lives stress and care free. You just have to learn not to take things so personally. Find their reads and when they are in that mood or state, don't fight it. There is no lightbulb that goes off above their head to say, "oh yeah, i shouldnt be letting this affect me so much." so you have to stay consistent with your messages and actions if you want to stay with her. My girl will constantly extrapolate behavior with words like "never", "all the time", "always" and I've learned to know this isn't true. My girl is strong and smart and if she really had that much of a problem with me, it would come up other times than when she is just feeling shytty. Sometimes I feel guilty being happy because I don't need a reason to be happy because I prefer that feeling. People with mental illness need reasons to be happy because their usual state is probably one of unhappiness and self hatred.
Thats my biggest thing to weigh is my own happiness and not short selling it to keep someone else happy. But I've dealth with enough different women to know that finding a girl who is happy and content with themselves is like finding a pot of gold. Some say it's real, I haven't seen it yet
So if she holds you down, works hard to make you happy and gives you love, loyalty and respect, I think it's worth working through. You'll never be the savior you want to be and figure out the depression for them, the most you can do is make them feel comfortable being honest around you so they see you as help and a friend instead of the next person telling them just to be happy.
I've been with her for almost 3 years now and I know I made the right choice. It's hard but I know deep down in her heart, she's not depressed because shes not getting her way, it's because she can't control it and hates when it hits. I dont let the fear of the future ruin what I have today. If you've taken care of yourself and continue to build yourself up, the future shouldn't scare you because you should be prepared to move on and know you'll be fine. So if the girl is worth it, give her your all but demand she recognizes it and respects you as much. If she's not willing to work as hard as you are, leave. But if she's shown you she cares about you as much as you care about her, and she isn't willing to let her illness define her, you ride it til the wheels fall off like any relationship
Thats my biggest thing to weigh is my own happiness and not short selling it to keep someone else happy. But I've dealth with enough different women to know that finding a girl who is happy and content with themselves is like finding a pot of gold. Some say it's real, I haven't seen it yet
So if she holds you down, works hard to make you happy and gives you love, loyalty and respect, I think it's worth working through. You'll never be the savior you want to be and figure out the depression for them, the most you can do is make them feel comfortable being honest around you so they see you as help and a friend instead of the next person telling them just to be happy.I've been with her for almost 3 years now and I know I made the right choice. It's hard but I know deep down in her heart, she's not depressed because shes not getting her way, it's because she can't control it and hates when it hits. I dont let the fear of the future ruin what I have today. If you've taken care of yourself and continue to build yourself up, the future shouldn't scare you because you should be prepared to move on and know you'll be fine. So if the girl is worth it, give her your all but demand she recognizes it and respects you as much. If she's not willing to work as hard as you are, leave. But if she's shown you she cares about you as much as you care about her, and she isn't willing to let her illness define her, you ride it til the wheels fall off like any relationship
SeveroDrgnfli
Ain't nobody tryin to get indicted.
God bless you breh. Plus rep. Just, wow! You my friend are the definition of understanding and supportive. Lol you also know to handle us with kid gloves on. Depression and anxiety aren't a huge deal if people keep it light. I joke around about me being grumpy and it makes me laugh and I feel good. But being in a bad mood comes naturally and I have to fight to be happy even if it's for a few minutes.My girl goes through depression, bi-polar states and it can be really difficult because I'm generally a happy dude who lives stress and care free. You just have to learn not to take things so personally. Find their reads and when they are in that mood or state, don't fight it. There is no lightbulb that goes off above their head to say, "oh yeah, i shouldnt be letting this affect me so much." so you have to stay consistent with your messages and actions if you want to stay with her. My girl will constantly extrapolate behavior with words like "never", "all the time", "always" and I've learned to know this isn't true. My girl is strong and smart and if she really had that much of a problem with me, it would come up other times than when she is just feeling shytty. Sometimes I feel guilty being happy because I don't need a reason to be happy because I prefer that feeling. People with mental illness need reasons to be happy because their usual state is probably one of unhappiness and self hatred.
Thats my biggest thing to weigh is my own happiness and not short selling it to keep someone else happy. But I've dealth with enough different women to know that finding a girl who is happy and content with themselves is like finding a pot of gold. Some say it's real, I haven't seen it yet
I've been with her for almost 3 years now and I know I made the right choice. It's hard but I know deep down in her heart, she's not depressed because shes not getting her way, it's because she can't control it and hates when it hits. I dont let the fear of the future ruin what I have today. If you've taken care of yourself and continue to build yourself up, the future shouldn't scare you because you should be prepared to move on and know you'll be fine. So if the girl is worth it, give her your all but demand she recognizes it and respects you as much. If she's not willing to work as hard as you are, leave. But if she's shown you she cares about you as much as you care about her, and she isn't willing to let her illness define her, you ride it til the wheels fall off like any relationship
You're right about us needing a reason to be happy. It's not our stock setting. We're fully aware we can't trust our own emotions. What I do is think about how I feel and why I feel that way. Is it real or is it just me in my one of moods? Most of the time it's me and not other people tbh. Rather than think about why I don't like something I focus on what I do like about it. I minimize the amount of negative thoughts I have. It works man. I set small goals for myself so I feel like I have small victories everyday.
Again, I didn't choose to be like this. It is what it is. Finally I'd like to suggest people who are around people like me to encourage us to lighten the fukk up and settle down. Anxiety is being worked up and being unable to relax. Depression is a prolonged feeling of sadness. You cannot allow people like us to stay in our moods. They only get worse and result in full blown craziness.
BooksnCookies
All Star
I do...shyt is unfair. 
Props for actually trying to be by her side. I don't have any real advice because mental illness is so specific to the individual. YOU also need to be happy. Smh...At the end of the day, from an extremely logical point of view, I would end things...perhaps momentarily(get back together when she's better) until she gets the real help she needs. Maybe new meds? Something. If you can handle it, try to be there as a friend. People with mental illness can definitely be a handful and I wouldn't feel bad about taking care of yourself. It needs to be done. She'll probably feel like shyt 1000% if you break it off but maybe that's a good thing? Esp if she's dependent on your presence for her mental health. 
.
Fyi, a lot of ppl with mental health issues don't like talking about it because it's lowkey kinda embarrassing. For me, at least. I can bet that she feels bad about outbursts, moods, etc. but she can't help it. If she's not speaking to you about things that are bothering her, it's probably because she doesn't know how to say it or opening up would just trigger something else.
Anyway, take care of yourself first. Don't feel bad about it.
Props for actually trying to be by her side. I don't have any real advice because mental illness is so specific to the individual. YOU also need to be happy. Smh...At the end of the day, from an extremely logical point of view, I would end things...perhaps momentarily(get back together when she's better) until she gets the real help she needs. Maybe new meds? Something. If you can handle it, try to be there as a friend. People with mental illness can definitely be a handful and I wouldn't feel bad about taking care of yourself. It needs to be done. She'll probably feel like shyt 1000% if you break it off but maybe that's a good thing? Esp if she's dependent on your presence for her mental health. . Fyi, a lot of ppl with mental health issues don't like talking about it because it's lowkey kinda embarrassing. For me, at least. I can bet that she feels bad about outbursts, moods, etc. but she can't help it. If she's not speaking to you about things that are bothering her, it's probably because she doesn't know how to say it or opening up would just trigger something else.
Anyway, take care of yourself first. Don't feel bad about it.
Break up with her.
At the end of the day, you have to worry about your individual happiness. She isn't a child that you have to stick with thick and thin and who relies on you to live. Shes a grown adult. If she has failed to help herself or get proper treatment and instead decides to mire in misery and isn't happy unless she makes your miserable too, you need to make the hard choice and bail. Obviously this is easier said than done, but this is the most logical conclusions to this issue.
You have one life to live. Why should you spend it being miserable and not being selfish to some extent? If you see no possibility of the situation of changing, leave.
At the end of the day, you have to worry about your individual happiness. She isn't a child that you have to stick with thick and thin and who relies on you to live. Shes a grown adult. If she has failed to help herself or get proper treatment and instead decides to mire in misery and isn't happy unless she makes your miserable too, you need to make the hard choice and bail. Obviously this is easier said than done, but this is the most logical conclusions to this issue.
You have one life to live. Why should you spend it being miserable and not being selfish to some extent? If you see no possibility of the situation of changing, leave.
Damn some of yall nikkas got less feelings than mobb deep.
smh @ the idea of leaving her just when she need him most.
@ OP. You need to try to help her, but like some said, you can't do a miracle. Best thing is to her keep doing teraphy, and make her avoid pills as much as possible
Do weed help her? Lol always help me when I'm on some
smh @ the idea of leaving her just when she need him most.
@ OP. You need to try to help her, but like some said, you can't do a miracle. Best thing is to her keep doing teraphy, and make her avoid pills as much as possible
Do weed help her? Lol always help me when I'm on some
StickStickly
Superstar
. Depression has nothing to do with weakness. Please erase this myth from our community.
StickStickly
Superstar
Op you know your limits. You can't save her from her depression because you have no control over chemicals in her brain (not anymore than she does). You have to do what's right for you in the long run, especially if you do not want a future with this girl. When you are depressed, it's nice to have someone there mainly because this person refutes all the negative thoughts that run through your mind. That person usually makes things slightly more tolerable and allows the person to feel, "maybe I'm not as bad as I thought I was" or "maybe I can do this". With that being said, people are fragile and feed off energy from their environment. You are a person and therefore impressionable. This is natural. If you are starting to struggle then it's important to find a balance or make your own happiness and gently break away. Listen, if you are in a relationship and she is aware of her depressive states, you should be able to tell her, " hey baby I love you and I want to help you. But it's hard to feel positive when you snap at me. Can you help me with that?" She should say yes, even if it's through tears or shame and guilt of threats that "now I feel worse for treating you bad!" If she says yes, you have hope and if you love her then think about it . However if she continues to make you feel awful and refuses ease up on you, please take your mental health into consideration.
KravenMorehead™
Barrel Brothers.®
it might be a nutrition thing. If you guys are black, i know from what i've been reading certain things we eat we shouldn't be eating, like meat, cheese, bread, etc. But I understand that's a hard sell. But there's no reason someone's emotions should just be out of whack with no explanation, i don't believe in no explanation. it might be that plus a combination of her not going to the gym, i wouldn't know. Her cells are depressed so her brain follows suit. Just throwing things out there...
I have battled depression after my mom passed. Many in my family have it so I think its hereditary.
Either way find the root cause and deal with that. Everything else is her emotionally trying to bury it or not deal with it.
After awhile she may not even know the root any more. I had a lot of baggage from child hood, and leaving home becoming an immigrant at 17. shyt aint normal to be alone in at a young age dealing with the world.
Really start talking with her about early life, teenage years etc.
Either way find the root cause and deal with that. Everything else is her emotionally trying to bury it or not deal with it.
After awhile she may not even know the root any more. I had a lot of baggage from child hood, and leaving home becoming an immigrant at 17. shyt aint normal to be alone in at a young age dealing with the world.
Really start talking with her about early life, teenage years etc.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2012
- Messages
- 42,423
- Reputation
- 3,795
- Daps
- 152,109
- Reppin
- black love, unity, and music
Jeez, im getting depressed by reading this thread.
Put down the antidepressants and get baked.
Peace.
Put down the antidepressants and get baked.
Peace.
