"nice guys aren't really nice" is a Cop out women use

[iBrowse]

All "nice guys" aren't nice. A lot of people don't know what that word means of what a nice person is.

@-DMP-

 

[philmonroe]

Typical logic of this forum, people are always arguing extremes, not every dude that is considered "nice" scared or timid or whatever, there is a deeper rooted issue that judging from this thread, no one knows why this happens not men or women.. Maybe these nice guys are corny, maybe they are too clingy or pushy, maybe the chick don't want a relationship at the time they meet said nice guy, maybe the definition of nice is extremely subjective.. Maybe these "a$$holes" are just more "fun" to be around maybe they are great in every other way, they just don't want or know how to be in a committed relationship.. I think woman should, when asked about the type of dude they want, use another word to describe "nice" or good because its obvious most dudes have a different idea of what it is to be nice..




True, not saying this should be the norm, but it should happen more. You cant complain when you don't put in the effort, its crazy people go about dating the same way after continuing to not get the results they want

Regarding bold I think you have an idea of whats the problem. Its not hard. Like you said it could a bunch of things and mainly those things you spoke of are the reason. I think some "nice guys" just like "educated" women are on that no accountability tip. It can't be me even though I want a relationship/sex but been single/without sex for eons. That's the problem simple and plain but dudes still trying to strong arm people to their views when true be told its too many people out here. It turns into fukk what these complainers talking about I'll deal with people that play under the current rules.

I agree with girls should approach more but only the ones that complain about not getting the dudes they want because they wont talk first to the guy.

women shouldn't trust any nikka who refers to himself as a "nice guy"

I agree any self proclaimed nice guy, nerd, educated person should be stayed far away from. If you're those things people will speak it for you period.

Generally speaking men who are successful with women are that way because they know what they have to offer and they know the type of girls who would go for them.

The guys who are unsuccessful either don't know what they have to offer or they are angry because what they have to offer isn't good enough for the specific women they want

Grand opening/Grand closing

Most legitimately good-hearted people don't have to say that they are. Everyone who has interacted with them will do that talking for them, and that's when you'll know that said man or woman is a real gem. I know that because I've encountered a handful of genuinely good people in life. I used to be that "nice guy" who was trying to show interest in some female the only way I knew how/thought would work: noticing shyt not many others do, boosting up her confidence and shyt, being there to confide in, all that spousal shyt without the benefits. Then, the last person I "went hard at" like that (notice the quotations, because the "nice guy" doesn't really lay it out there like that. His "game" is finesse/subtle, try to put the ball in the girl's court and make her scoop him up because he's always there. While that approach can work for some, in the hands of the "nice guy," it's kind of cowardly, when you think about it) was like, "nah." I wondered where I fukked up, what I did wrong.

What it boiled down to is that she didn't find me attractive. But when I got that rejection, those rose-colored glasses came off and I saw every last one of her flaws. That's what you would call being "fake nice." Eventually I realized that I had lost my self-respect, I was being Mr. Heart of Gold for the wrong reasons, and I realized that if I wanted to really be seen a good dude instead of a "nice guy", I'd have to do so with no fukks given about what I got out of it. I'd like to think that I'm a decent cat but at the end of the day, only the company I keep can really confirm whether or not I really am.

With that said, you can call it a cop out all you want, but in my experiences and observation, if a woman is feeling you, she will ignore damn near every red flag, clear every hurdle and move every mountain in her way to make it happen. It doesn't matter if you're "nice," nice, mean, bitter, etc. I will say this, though, it's actually much more considerate for both parties to just be straight up with intentions from the jump. If you're chatting up some girl just because you want to smash, hell, say so. If she's down, she's down (and in this day and age, if you catch somebody on the right day, you can get it in if you just ask/know how to ask. Today's generation is a lot more sexually liberated), if she's not, and she makes that clear from the jump, then take that rejection as her being considerate of your time and feelings and keep it moving.

I'll say this though. If you believe that a man or a woman isn't owed anything sexually for being nice and doing favors for someone they're interested in (they don't), then you have no right to complain about them ceasing to do nice things for you after you make it clear that they aren't getting anything out of it. Call me crazy, but I think most people generally treat their spouses better than they do the average person. If you're not someone's spouse, you get no spousal benefits.

Bold is true for anything not just what you said and I agree. Second bold I throwing the challenge flag unless its on vacation or late at the bar. Not many dudes straight up asking hey baby you fukking off the rip lol. If they are and winning more power to them but I just don't see that type of behavior working and or being attempted much outside of the two places where that may work. Maybe if you've gotten comfortable a little bit you'll be more straight up but I still doubt it then at least until you've hit a time or two. Third bold is a no shyt and I don't think many will complain. I will say I haven't saw many chicks say why he not doing that no more they just keep it moving and the next contestant usually there where they picked off. Not saying it don't happen just saying it hasn't been common in my experience.

 

[-DMP-]

@-DMP-

looking kinda bitter in the light :Patrice:

-DMP-

 

[Raava]

looking kinda bitter in the light :Patrice:

-DMP-

I'll be bitter if you'll be a c00n for the comments in the tounge thread














let's fight

@Fonsworth

 

[iBrowse]

I'll be bitter if you'll be a c00n for the comments in the tounge thread














let's fight

@Fonsworth

 

[iBrowse]

 

[FTBS]

The bolded simply isn't true. First of all, despite the fact that men love to assume that getting sex requires zero effort for women, its simply not a matter of going outside and saying I want sex and having a bunch of men line up. On a side note...even though undesirable men find it hard to believe, desirable men do have options and do not necessarily need to jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman he finds fat or nasty or unattractive. And if your next comment is well women can get sex with zero effort from undesirable men, that may be true. But men can also pay for sex and reduce their difficulty as well, but then that becomes an undesirable situation for them. I'm not saying its the same level of difficulty, tbh thats a moot point in this discussion, but again just pointing out how you are oversimplifying life to fit into a neat box that it really doesn't fit in.

The real discussion here however, is the relationship aspect, and you continue to miss my point in that regard. So lets just focus on that. I can tell you right now without flinching that a man having a harder time getting sex than getting the relationship he wants is an outright lie and doesn't make logical sense. The interesting thing is that you have basically admitted this in a roundabout way in your post. If you believe women can go outside and get sex with zero effort from men right now, what does that have to say about the factors that a man considers when it comes to sex? They must be, if not non-existent like you've alluded to when it was convenient, sufficiently lower than what he considers for a relationship.

Simply put, while a guy might just need a girl to be open to sex and attractive (and not even that in some cases) for something casual, and a woman might equally just need a guy to be open to sex and attractive for something casual, the requirements aren't going to be so simple for either of them to actually want to be in a relationship with each other. Not only are the requirements going to be more, but the requirements will have to intersect with the two people over an extended period for the relationship to be maintained. Which at the end of the day makes a relationship much harder to get and maintain than a casual sex romp, which is why his and your comparisons are not and will not be apples to apples.

I guess you missed the part where I basically said the bolded. It's not moot because if you are gonna make comparisons across the sexes you must account for the differences.

Sex is a part of the relationship a man wants. Most men have no problem getting the other aspects of relationships (dating, spending time, talking on phone, providing support). I explained this in my previous post pretty clearly.

You keep acting like relationships are rocket science . People jump into relationships without thoroughly vetting people all the time. That said, the requirements for maintaining a relationship are not an adequate explanation for guys who want relationships not being able to get them. Purely based on the law of averages, a man who wants a relationship who actually pursues women should have a certain level of success. Now this is based on the idea that women want to be in relationships. If you are gonna say women aren't interested in relationships then that's one thing (that is patently false). However, plenty of women are in relationships with shytty guys or pursuing relationships with shytty guys so what are the chances that a guy that actually wants to be in a relationship can't catch a break if everybody is being honest?

 

[-DMP-]

I'll be bitter if you'll be a c00n for the comments in the tounge thread














let's fight

@Fonsworth

You seemed to be concerned with only dissin men, were you cheated on as a youngin'? scared to trust, they called you ugly? Well life is hard, hug me, don't neg rep me, or make posts to disrespect me, blatantly or indirectly...

@BonitaChelz get my list ma, time to update it.

some interesting event s have occurred...

-DMP-

 

[Raava]

"Police!"

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

The thing that you are missing is that for many guys casual flings are just as difficult. When making comparisons across genders you must account for the different value systems. Sure getting sex is easy and requires no effort and doesn't have a bunch of factors for a woman but for man that's not 6'2 or rich or doesn't have the gift of gab or a lot of confidence/self-worth, it's just as hard to get as a relationship. As a matter of fact it's even harder to get than a relationship. The friendzone has all of the qualities of a relationship minus sex and exclusivity. Most guys have no problem getting into the friendzone and maintaining an intimate, supportive relationship with no sex. If the guy was having flings with these chicks then he wouldn't be taking L's.

The fact is he's trying to get into a relationship (something most females say they want) and he 's getting rejected constantly while his friend who gives no fukks and is all about the p*ssy (something most females say they don't want) is getting all the p*ssy he can stand. From an objective and logical place this does not add up. Just by pure probability, a guy in pursuit of a relationship should be more successful than a guy who just wants to fukk, if women are being real that is. I never hear women complaining about how they can't get dikk or can't find an a$$hole that doesn't care. Women complain about men being shytty and not wanting to commit. There are plenty of women in relationships with shytty dudes who don't want to commit. Thusly, you would think that a guy who as all about being good to women and committing would have some level of success. Now I am not saying that females should get with him just because he's nice or that he deserves anything other than what he's getting. I am just saying if you go by what is said by women and pure probability something isn't adding up.

It goes both ways. There are a lot of women these "nice guys" could get with, but the nice guys aren't attracted to them so they don't mess with them. The underlying theme neither party wants to admit to is "the people i find attractive arent responding to me the way I want". All this other stuff is just roundabout ways of saying that w/o accepting any responsibility for it.

And friendzone isn't just a relationship without sex and exclusivity. It's a relationship without mutual respect or clear, expressed parameters and intentions from both parties. It's destructive and counterproductive for everyone involved. The dude has blue balls and the chick is turning away anyone who wants to do anything remotely serious with her. Its all bad.

 

[Raava]

You seemed to be concerned with only dissin men, were you cheated on as a youngin'? scared to trust, they called you ugly
Well life is hard, hug me, don't neg rep me, or make posts to disrespect me, blatantly or indirectly

@BonitaChelz get my list ma, time to update it.

some interesting event s have occurred...

-DMP-

bolded

Actually I have never been called ugly...to my face

NEG

 

[-DMP-]

bolded

Actually I have never been called ugly...to my face

NEG

its ok now, you can cry on my shoulder. Imma nice guy, not like those other thugs

-DMP-

 

[iBrowse]

"Police!"

They're on the way

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

People who say they are a nice guy, thus they are entitled. Like Elliot Rodgers if he hadn't killed anybody. That's who they refer to.

People who are nice guys, and they do not feel entitled to anything are the true nice guys. What bugs me tho is they think there is more of the former than there is the latter. So they put the true nice guys with the Elliot Rodgers to justify their slutty behaviour.

There is no such thing as a genuine self-identifying nice guy. If a dude has ever said/thought "im a nice guy, why dont women cooperate" they are in that former category.

 

[Neil Tyson]

There is no such thing as a genuine self-identifying nice guy. If a dude has ever said/thought "im a nice guy, why dont women cooperate" they are in that former category.

That's pretty much the gist of what I said. People who feel they are not entitled to anything, are true nice people. That means they do not feel entitled to the identifier "nice guy".