"No flowers, no planned dates, just “wyd” texts & 50/50"

[dora_da_destroyer]

In the Bible, if I read it correctly sex/leniage was the only reason to get married. It actually said it was better for a man to be alone if they could help it. Relationships are a newer feminine concept. I come from a different background. Connections don’t work on average, and only last so long. I’m guessing it doesn’t matter if you’re in relationship after relationship. I get what you’re saying, but the debate is assuming the man knows you have a fwb . Obviously irl no ones gonna go thru the trouble that’s why one breh said he wish women had signs on their head, however because alotta brehs are noticing a pattern, it’s becoming a “chicken wings and fries we don’t go on dates culture”.

yall are overcomplicating this IMO. there is a phase of kicking it with someone new where yall don't owe each other anything, you don't drop everything and everyone because you had 1, 2, 3 dates with someone....over time as yall keep kicking it and establish that this is something that has potential to go somewhere, in my experience at least, you stop seeing or ice those other people so you can focus on this one person. sometimes that leads to being together, other times, yea, it might not go as far as you wanted, so it's back to the drawing board. it seems people in this thread are having a hard time accepting the "it didn't lead where i wanted it to" part and are getting angry and calling it wasted effort as if a date should guarantee an outcome. if everything always worked out with everyone you went on a date or two with, we'd all be with the first person we met when (newly) single

Get your wallets out fellas, this sounds like a good deal for your time and resources

so wait, you only get one girl's number at a time or connect with only one girl on an app? when you have multiple matches on an app or women you met on a night out, you only go on a date with one of them? or do you set up a few dates over the next week or so with all of them?

you been single for a year, smashing your neighbor in the interim, you calling her to let her know you can't have sex with her anymore because you're on your second date with someone who you still don't really know?

people date multiple people...i'm not gonna be mad that a man has some other dates lined up or smashes someone he met in the club when i've only know him 3 weeks and hung out twice...we're not committed, we don't even know if we want to be with each other at that point.

 

[BigMan]

yall are overcomplicating this IMO. there is a phase of kicking it with someone new where yall don't owe each other anything, you don't drop everything and everyone because you had 1, 2, 3 dates with someone....over time as yall keep kicking it and establish that this is something that has potential to go somewhere, in my experience at least, you stop seeing or ice those other people so you can focus on this one person. sometimes that leads to being together, other times, yea, it might not go as far as you wanted, so it's back to the drawing board. it seems people in this thread are having a hard time accepting the "it didn't lead where i wanted it to" part and are getting angry and calling it wasted effort as if a date should guarantee an outcome. if everything always worked out with everyone you went on a date or two with, we'd all be with the first person we met when (newly) single



so wait, you only get one girl's number at a time or connect with only one girl on an app? when you have multiple matches on an app or women you met on a night out, you only go on a date with one of them? or do you set up a few dates over the next week or so with all of them?

you been single for a year, smashing your neighbor in the interim, you calling her to let her know you can't have sex with her anymore because you're on your second date with someone who you still don't really know?

people date multiple people...i'm not gonna be mad that a man has some other dates lined up or smashes someone he met in the club when i've only know him 3 weeks and hung out twice...we're not committed, we don't even know if we want to be with each other at that point.

Brehette you really think coli brehs, shyt even regular dudes, are out here getting MULTIPLE women’s numbers ?

 

[RareHunter]

LMAO...he said he aint the relationship type, no one is worth it. all his answers are about the downside of relationships, those are usually avoidant and/or pessimistic people, that's not an insult, these are actual emotional attachment types and world outlooks - what does that have to do with my relationship & happiness? there are people who see no good in romantic relationships and i honestly think that's sad, i take the same stance with women who are on the all men aint shyt bandwagon, so miss me with the extra. i champion love and companionship

but keep projecting and trying to cape for this man who has had no problem replying to me himself

Lol I said I don’t believe in relationships as currently defined. I believe dating should be with a purpose, otherwise what’s the point? A woman will never beat a man at this “game” overall. As a breh said earlier, y’all playing a mans game, and it’s not working out. At my job, I seen plenty pretty women 27-40 complaining about men, being single, single mom or no kids at all, how they don’t wanna work, and they’re so bitter and toxic (some are pleasant and lost). My point is I’m seeing it more and more. In my Mother’s Day, you could sleep with your doors unlocked and not have a worry in the world. Now you need triple locks on everything. My point being things are getting noticeably worse in all facets of society, and you have this whimsical view of ppl “catching a vibe”.

This is a debate btw, I have zero issues getting women. And do hope you and your partner workout.

 

[Phitz]

good thing i never moved like a man when dealing with a worthwhile man.

Do you have a man now?

 

[Apollo Creed]

Do you have a man now?

lol to have a “worthwhile” man and end up not married= failure (unless breh passed away).

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

.

Lol I said I don’t believe in relationships as currently defined. I believe dating should be with a purpose, otherwise what’s the point? A woman will never beat a man at this “game” overall. As a breh said earlier, y’all playing a mans game, and it’s not working out. At my job, I seen plenty pretty women 27-40 complaining about men, being single, single mom or no kids at all, how they don’t wanna work, and they’re so bitter and toxic (some are pleasant and lost). My point is I’m seeing it more and more. In my Mother’s Day, you could sleep with your doors unlocked and not have a worry in the world. Now you need triple locks on everything. My point being things are getting noticeably worse in all facets of society, and you have this whimsical view of ppl “catching a vibe”.

This is a debate btw, I have zero issues getting women. And do hope you and your partner workout.

Like I said, and no offense, but you have a pessimistic outlook on the world. And you’re also romanticizing the past. And dating isn’t a man’s game, it takes men and women to create a dating pool. Both are out there looking for mates.

Now there definitely has been a breakdown in respect between the sexes, but I blame that on SM, reality tv and people who are spending less time socializing IRL and interacting via screens...

edit, I’m also gonna qualify that by saying I see more of this disrespect between the sexes between lower income black folk. Like I don’t see this with my peer group

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Brehette you really think coli brehs, shyt even regular dudes, are out here getting MULTIPLE women’s numbers ?

Man...you right

 

[AAKing23]

Women who appreciate and reciprocate deserve better

This is why I have a true love for genuinely sweet, caring and nurturing women.

It naturally makes me want to do things in return for them so I never feel used or unappreciated, no matter how a girl looks she's immediately so much more attractive to me just off that.

 

[BaggerofTea]

not even sure what the first half of this is on...there are many women who fall into a FWB situation that they don't want to be in, those are the ones who end up catching feelings or being jealous...that's a whole other topic


please don't use the term side dude, because, to me, that denotes someone you're seeing/cheating with when you're in a relationship or married - i do not condone cheating. a cut buddy, jumpoff, FWB, whatever you want to call it is someone you just have a sexual relationship with, for me, they came into play in times when i was single


lastly, there is nothing to tell on, until there is a mutually agreed upon commitment between two people, there's nothing wrong with talking to/dating or fukking someone else. when yall get to the point where you want to be exclusive, both people should (hopefully) stop seeing those other people. and from my experience, oftentimes those other connections have already been deaded prior to becoming official since we've established we like each other and are spending more time together

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

yall are overcomplicating this IMO. there is a phase of kicking it with someone new where yall don't owe each other anything, you don't drop everything and everyone because you had 1, 2, 3 dates with someone....over time as yall keep kicking it and establish that this is something that has potential to go somewhere, in my experience at least, you stop seeing or ice those other people so you can focus on this one person. sometimes that leads to being together, other times, yea, it might not go as far as you wanted, so it's back to the drawing board. it seems people in this thread are having a hard time accepting the "it didn't lead where i wanted it to" part and are getting angry and calling it wasted effort as if a date should guarantee an outcome. if everything always worked out with everyone you went on a date or two with, we'd all be with the first person we met when (newly) single



so wait, you only get one girl's number at a time or connect with only one girl on an app? when you have multiple matches on an app or women you met on a night out, you only go on a date with one of them? or do you set up a few dates over the next week or so with all of them?

you been single for a year, smashing your neighbor in the interim, you calling her to let her know you can't have sex with her anymore because you're on your second date with someone who you still don't really know?

people date multiple people...i'm not gonna be mad that a man has some other dates lined up or smashes someone he met in the club when i've only know him 3 weeks and hung out twice...we're not committed, we don't even know if we want to be with each other at that point.

You were told already.. Men don't want women who move like men.

That might sound "unfair" but in a culture where men are expected to do xyz for a woman then any quality man is going to think twice about taking a woman seriously who moves like we do.

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

Ask any man in here if he's been out a couple times with a female right and then it comes out that she linking up with this other dude, it don't matter if yall trying to figure out what you are... he ain't gonna wanna take you seriously at that point.

 

[the bossman]

i`m not yall. You're a grown man, be right and exact with the words you use.

Don't take words out of context. Nobody in here talking about trying to wife a pornstar

 

[RareHunter]

.


Like I said, and no offense, but you have a pessimistic outlook on the world. And you’re also romanticizing the past. And dating isn’t a man’s game, it takes men and women to create a dating pool. Both are out there looking for mates.

Now there definitely has been a breakdown in respect between the sexes, but I blame that on SM, reality tv and people who are spending less time socializing IRL and interacting via screens...

edit, I’m also gonna qualify that by saying I see more of this disrespect between the sexes between lower income black folk. Like I don’t see this with my peer group

Its not pessimistic. I’m debating you cuz I’m bored. I’ve been on this board 5 yrs and just started posting this year(in the last month), as I have an incentive, but I’ve read your posts for years now lol, and never felt the need to respond to you, booksnr or black pear lady then. A true pessimist would be in here like it’s a second job debating y’all lol.

Im just trying to understand your take on what’s a man getting as a boyfriend/ husband these days, that’s so much better then what the fwb/side nikka gets? To listen to your problems? Tax breaks from the gov? All the responsibility?

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

You were told already.. Men don't want women who move like men.

That might sound "unfair" but in a culture where men are expected to do xyz for a woman then any quality man is going to think twice about taking a woman seriously who moves like we do.

Lmao, again. You wouldn’t know this

secondly, dating multiple people isn’t moving like men. Finding a significant other is a game of numbers especially in online dating. You’re going to have a few matches that you go out with, you go one a few dates and start eliminating people. That’s not moving like men, that’s literally how dating works.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Its not pessimistic. I’m debating you cuz I’m bored. I’ve been on this board 5 yrs and just started posting this year, as I have an incentive, but I’ve read your posts for years now lol, and never felt the need to respond to you, booksnr or black pear lady then. A true pessimist would be in here like it’s a second job debating y’all lol.

Im just trying to understand your take on what’s a man getting as a boyfriend/ husband these days, that’s so much better then what the fwb/side nikka gets? To listen to your problems? Tax breaks from the gov? All the responsibility?

ehh, I don’t post in this forum often unless I get sucked into a debate

and this is how you position what a man gets out of a relationship - that’s extremely negative and pessimistic. But you know what, you should pose this to the happily married brehs/brehs in happy relationships. I can tell you what I give a man, but you seem to need validation that men are getting something out of a relationship and only another man can share that