Well first, how much is too much for a gym membership. Been looking around for an affordable gym but the cheapest I've found is 54 a month. Don't got that kind of money really. Someone recommended that I just start jogging outside, but that thought terrifies me seeing that I know I'd be able to jog for all of 15 seconds and then gasping for air, and then the thing with people being able to see and laugh this big girl struggling to run… I know these sound like excuses but I'm honestly trying to overcome them so I can actually see some results. For now I've just been walking more.
I'll add some more when I think of them
I can't really afford a gym membership either so I utilize what I can do for free.
Download the nike training club app for workouts. You might need low cost items like a jump rope or weights but overall its free and most workouts require just a little effort from you.
Find some free downloads of p90x or insanity or some other popular work out video.
Clear a space in your home and try to dedicate 20mins a day. Thats an episode of a tv show and can be done at any time of the day
Another thing I would recommend is to start slow. Going to the gym trying to deadlift or run the treadmill for an hour will discourage you because in your mind you can't do it and want to give up.
Start slow. If you're walking distance to a store, grab a bottle of water and walk there, grab a few items and walk back. You have stairs at work, take those for a few flights instead of an elevator.
As a person who has constantly struggled with her weight and, is a self admitted emotional eater, I can understand what you're going thru. Its tough. Its hard. And you will have a bunch of days where your mind will say 'lets not workout today' but your body will say 'remember those pants you tried on and realized they were a little looser than before' and thats when you do another 20-30min workout. If you want an accountability partner I'll be that for you okay?