Question for the older brothers...

[The ADD]

This nikka probably post on the Coli

 

[The ADD]

@murksiderock

If dude really has no kids, doesn’t want any and decent career then he likely won’t be around for long. Her mentioning it constantly is going to backfire, just gotta let it ride.

 

[Cyrus' Wife]

@murksiderock

If dude really has no kids, doesn’t want any and decent career then he likely won’t be around for long. Her mentioning it constantly is going to backfire, just gotta let it ride.

Yep. I'm a woman and came in here to write this exactly. No way is this lasting a long time or getting really serious. He's running game on her and she's getting played. The end. I give it maybe until spring is over or until he switches her up for another (probably child-free) young woman in his rotation.

 

[AllHolosEve]

I already explained my live-in situation a couple times on here. I'll give it a brief summary then fill in gaps where needed...

My childs' mom and I are living together until our lease ends in June, we've been separated since last July. Victims of circumstance is why we've still lived together...

She's 25 and recently began seeing this 41-year old guy, according to her. Over the last 2-3 weeks she's brought up dude multiple times; most recently last night she asked me when I would like to meet dude, etc etc...

I already have responded with feeling like she's talking dude up to annoy me and feel great about herself, my question isn't pertained to that. My question is, what would a man want with a woman 16 years younger than him, who still lives with her kids father? At 41, what does this tell you about who he is and his motives?

She specifically asked me last week what I think about some info she shared, then when I told her I'm not impressed, she went in about how she thinks he's a "unicorn"--->he's unlike any man she's ever met before and she doesn't think she'll meet anyone like him ever again. She repeatedly asks me questions, I give an answer, then she debates me about my answer to a question she asked me unprovoked...

Woman of The Coli feel free to jump in if you have an opinion as well. I told her to take care of herself, he doesn't sound as genuine to me as she thinks he is, and instead she thinks I'm hostile and hating because she sees this as a long term relationship moving forward...

Didn't read thread, just giving my opinion.

I went through this with my BM & think she did it just to try and make me jealous of dude. I just outright told her I didn't care, not to bring him up to me again. If she tried I'd be like "why the fukk are you here, move in with him & leave me alone"

I just started to ignore her if she tried to bring him up & she stopped doing it. She wanted attention & I wouldn't give it to her.

 

[Maruchan]

So then lemme ask, because I'm looking at it this way...

I get this post. But if I'm 41, do you have a general idea on who she's gonna be when she moves into her own place? I'd assume she's gonna be a 25-year old, which would lessen the attraction for me. She's pretty high maintenance, I do believe that isn't able to be seen from his perspective right now, but at his age I gotta think he assumes there's more than what she let's on. Otherwise what's the point of having the "wisdom" at 40 that you don't have at 30, if you're gonna make the same mistakes and have the same depth of thought you had 10-15 years ago?

You put too much stock in age

The wisdom that you wondering about wont stop old nikkas from fukking a 25 year old. In fact, that wisdom just assures him that he can reap her good parts while being wise enough to avoid her bullshyt.

 

[seabreeze80]

It sounds like you still have feelings for her. She wants attention and you keep giving it to her. If you truly didn't want to hear it you would just walk away when she brings him up or better yet just move out. Both of you are playing games with each other.

 

[NZA]

either she wants you to fight for her, or she wants to torture you

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

She listing the nikka attributes..
Like a RPG character
Her game is so flaw..
How do you not see this breh
Anytime a woman starts talking about another dude in your presence..
It’s one of two things..
She looking for you to step in..
“I want my family back together”
Or..
Prepping you for her departure..
Women are cold as shyt when they are done with you..
Ain’t no if, ands or in betweens..
She outchea playing a game..
She ain’t built for..
Tell her to watch for the hook and get up out that living situation..
She pulling you into fukkery

 

[JackRoss]

Old nikka took your bytch

 

[K.O.N.Y]

- she sees the end coming.
- she's realized you've mentally and emotionally checked out.
- she hasn't...even though she may in fact actually have from a relationship standpoint, from an emotional stability one she really hasn't, in the sense that for her to progress she needs to feel like she's in a better starting space than you. Yes, immaturity.
- she wants you, therefore, to care.
- you shouldn't.
- you probably do, since you're actually entertaining these conversations.
- undeserved cynicism? Maybe. The determining factor that stands out? Her constantly waving dude under your nose. "He's not a liar like you..." etc etc. She has to belittle you to achieve her head start.
- she knows she has hooks in your gills with those two children and she's determined to set them deeper.
- brace yourself for incoming.


You're a sharp dude so I know you have an idea of what you're potentially in for here. Hopefully it doesn't go in that direction, but it's better to be prepared than not. Move smarter and document everything. All convo to nil unless it's about the children, until she starts showing evidence of growing up. Love on your children harder. She'll either smarten up or she won't, but they shouldn't have to suffer more than necessary for whatever she has pinballing around in her head.

More than anything, you've got some growing to do yourself. Don't let any noise get in the way of that.

yes

Also her going in with full knowledge that a 25" knocking late twenties" Woman with two kids, is not as viable as a man in his early 30's who has a bm with 2 kids's

 

[Data-Hawk]

Breh 41, he dont have all that CONSTANT energy for a young woman.

LOL... WTF you make it seem like he's 61. Now if you mean he doesn't have the energy to entertain her BS like younger dudes. than yeah I agree.

 

[Commish]

OP..

You think it is odd for an older man to want significantly younger women?

I don't know one man who would object to dating an attractive young woman, especially if she is mature for her age and has some things going on for herself.

But, with me, I prefer women at least in their 30s and perhaps closer to 40. But, that is me..

The problem I see with your situation is that you and your to be ex wife need to live separately!

Y'all need y'all own spots ASAP!

Next, y'all need to stop discussing y'all dating situation with each other. You may want to suggest that she keep her dating business to herself or talk to her friends and relatives about it. The same applies to you as well..

Hopefully, the both of y'all have agreed to not bring dates and/or significant others around the house while y'all are living together. Y'all kids don't need to see that and it seems like there may be some lingering feelings involved, so maintaining peace and order within the household until y'all lease is up should be top priority!

Just my take on your situation..

 

[Max Power]

This is a disgraceful L

 

[Sankofa Alwayz]

it’s a load of horse shyt breh, plain and simple. I literally watched my mom cheat on my dad, divorce him, flexed on my pop every chance she got and let the nikka she was cheating on him with basically move into the fixer upper crib due to him being a contractor. Then when we needed to stay elsewhere because of lead in the paint, we couldn’t stay with him because he had a whole family already


You can’t let the bullshyt override your peace. Allow her world to fall apart on her own breh, it’s best for your mental health.



Speaking of mental health, id actually like to DM you about something and get your opinion if you don’t mind.

Sounds like karma eventually caught up with your moms breh

 

[Womb Raider]

Sounds like karma eventually caught up with your moms breh

Idk about that man, she’s been running from karma for a long ass time now


Shawty still does fukk shyt even tho she lost me and my brother to my pop, is about to lose her daughter to my pop and the streets, and is in the process of losing the house.


She cut me off last year and been calling my phone everyday for the last week, I ain’t got time for shawty