Relationships seem to just be about doing a lot of shyt you don’t want to do..

chowism

King of Short Gang
Joined
Nov 21, 2016
Messages
5,828
Reputation
-855
Daps
25,675
:jbhmm:

So is "not follow the female around the mall and let her know you're not doing it period" somehow different than me saying...



...because that's the comment that started this particular conversation.

It would seem nikkas got my comment mixed up.
You called submissive women weak and said you wanted an equal. Your comment sounded like something a feminist or new age liberal male would say so that was the main reason I quoted you and I'm sure other dudes quoted you. I should've bolded it to make sure you knew my fault bruh.
 

InkosiYe

All Star
Supporter
Joined
Nov 22, 2016
Messages
897
Reputation
467
Daps
4,667
They met at Columbia in medical school. They both graduated same year. He is a general (gastrointestinal) surgeon, she is an ophthalmologist.

He got into Columbia despite his grades being shytty (undergrad GPA of like 2.1) on an affirmative action scholarship because his father knew the admissions director (nepotism). She finished undergrad in 3 years and got in because her grades were stellar without... taking... the.... MCAT as a black woman in the 1960's.

Early in their marriage, he opened a private practice. She went into business with a partner. He was the breadwinner for, maybe, the first 25 years.

She parlayed her experience to one of the larger healthcare providers in the country. As his career started to stagnate, hers skyrocketed.

She became the breadwinner. Never gave him a hard time, never emasculated him, never even mentioned his earnings. All while cooking his meals and raising his kids.

Their marriage has been... rocky... cause pops had a problem keeping his dikk in his pants. She stayed by his side, cause she chose to be committed to him, while paying (most) of the bills, doing financial planning, and still cooking dinner every night.

Few years back, pops had open heart surgery. She sought out the best surgeons in the state... arranged all of his appointments, ensured his pee-surgery diet was what it should be, took care of him while he was in the ICU, etc... etc... etc...

Now, at the twilight of their careers, she's making 400k, he's basically barely keeping the lights on to his practice because she funnels money into his business to keep it afloat.

She has never said a word to him about "not being the man of the house" or anything like that. She's just a bad mf'er who is committed to her marriage. This comes directly from my father's mouth.

...all while cooking dinner, every single night, for the last 47 years.

Ya'll want a submissive woman, go for it. I'm holding out for that shyt ^^^.


Your moms is a G. That said tho, she’s also a .01% type person. If you’re holding out for a chick like that in today’s day and age there’s likely a HIGH probability of you dying alone :patrice:. Seriously no offense, but that’s essentially like the male version of the chicks waiting for the 6 figure 6 cert tupac in a business suit :mjgrin:, more difficult even perhaps.

My thing is just making sure I’m reaching my own potential, then looking for a girl who has her head on straight enough and who’s cooperative enough to do the thing with long term. That superwoman shyt is cool, but based on those standards there, man that’s tough
 

Jparker

Innocence lost in the EAST
Joined
Dec 28, 2012
Messages
14,268
Reputation
5,595
Daps
53,614
Reppin
Durham,NC
I’m at some Christmas party deep in the country with my shawty family. Bad phone reception bad ass kids no liquor no smoke no convo. Told her I had to work late (which I did) but I left early to make it because she guilt tripped me :francis:

I got some yak an 8th of some fire at the crib I could have been toasted:mjcry:
 

Artenche

All Star
Joined
Oct 22, 2017
Messages
907
Reputation
230
Daps
2,643
Reppin
Ayiti
Honestly, when you really love someone you don't give as much as a fukk.

I will fully admit I did shyt I didn't want to because I loved a girl. But I don't pretend to like the bullshyt, I straight up tell them I hate doing it but it's no love lost.

As long as they are carrying their weight in the relationship, I'm straight.

However, if I really do not want to do something, I let them know and they have to respect that. If they actually love you they'll understand instead of being immature and unreasonable.
 

AlainLocke

Banned
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
16,258
Reputation
2,665
Daps
74,072
All relationships require giving up autonomy....friendships, familial relationships, romantic relationships, business relationships...

You can't do what you want...:yeshrug:
 

InkosiYe

All Star
Supporter
Joined
Nov 22, 2016
Messages
897
Reputation
467
Daps
4,667
Agreed there's nothing wrong with submissive women, it's just not for me.

I define submissive woman as someone who is willing to sacrifice her happiness for mine. That type of shyt is secretly going to build resentment over the years.

What I want is a woman who can see when our desires are mutually exclusive, and decides to go and gets that shyt on her own independent of me or what I want. At the same time, a woman who isn't going to break down into tears if I etch out a modicum of happiness w/o her being involved.

It's actually not really about submissiveness as much as it is about dependence. I need an independent woman. A woman who doesn't need me, but wants me anyway. That's the shyt right there.

Ok yeah fair enough, I get that. I think codependency is just a part of the game tho in most cases. I honestly don’t have a single friend that’s either married or in a very long term relationship with a woman I would call “independent” :yeshrug:.


And I’ve had some girlfriends that were more independent than others but in my experience relationship type chicks generally wanna do a bunch of shyt together. The type of chicks I’ve met that are on the super independent tip tend to be so independent that it’s like y’all aren’t even together. To the point where it’s almost like they’re running from real intimacy with all the activities and shyt they got going on. Gotta be some balance
 

OfTheCross

Veteran
Joined
Mar 17, 2013
Messages
43,525
Reputation
4,969
Daps
98,982
Reppin
Keeping my overhead low, and my understand high
I see one of the main reasons I’m single. I don’t see the point of most of the shyt She wants to do for entertainment. Everytime we go somewhere it has to be crowded af, long ass waits, etc., like I just need to come up with every single idea myself just to avoid me having to do dumb shyt.
lol. that's true as shyt...
 

Scustin Bieburr

Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
Joined
May 3, 2012
Messages
22,581
Reputation
12,294
Daps
130,661
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

In relationships people dont take enough time for themselves. Boundaries are important even in romantic relationships. I sometimes go away for a weekend just to spend time by myself or with family. If you are away the person you're with notices your absence and grows to value you more.
 

old_timer

Taxi Squad
Joined
Mar 27, 2014
Messages
2,396
Reputation
2,368
Daps
6,851
Wifey and I took a compatibility test through her church (pre marital counseling
One useful result was our top shared activities
And if it isn't on that list, or a functional or societal aspect of marriage, we don't do it together
Like right now she's doing a dinner solo with some of her adult children
I'll see them tomorrow

Our schedules vary .. but probably 70% of the time, we spend less than 10 hours together per week
Take out sex and socializing (going out ), it might be 30 min max each day we actually interact

This fancy grocery store was having a holiday festival thing (all kind of food samples, wine stuff, ..
She was like "wanna go??":queen:
I told her she could do that with her next husband
She was like :damn::sadbron:
And I was like "baby, why don't you bring that fat lonely friend from work??"
She was like :krs: :obama: and sure nuff they spent 4 hours at that bytch
She honestly had a better time without me

You've got to develop other friendships, separate hobbies
 
Top