Resentment towards the black family unit from its own community

[Rhapture]

I keep reading/hearing black men and women complain about certain dynamics within the black family. "Black mothers raise their sons to be simps and subservient to the women in our community "- Black Men. "Black mothers coddle and enable their sons fukkboi behavior, treating them like princes who can do no wrong while daughters get treated like peasants"- Black Women. "Black fathers are extinct ". "Black fathers teach toxic masculinity to their sons ". "Black father's are too strict on their daughters which causes them to go wild and be thots when they get older/independent ". "Black parents are abusive" "Black parents don't discipline enough". I know all parents are not created equal and Every family has issues from time to time. It just seems like a lot of resentment from both ends. I just got finished reading an article where a black woman said that her mother raised her to be distrustful of other women and that's the reason why her relationships don't work out lol. It's kinda like a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation for the black family. Is it just me?.

 

[AuntAnniesPretzels]

I’m glad there’s resentment because it means younger AAs are going to do things differently than our predecessors

 

[froggle]

End of the day for the most parts a family will have more cohesion and better results than single mothers/fathers. The coli hates family, so

 

[Rhapture]

I’m glad there’s resentment because it means younger AAs are going to do things differently than our predecessors

But what are our predecessors doing wrong or have done wrong? Complaints seem to contradict themselves.

 

[Rhapture]

End of the day for the most parts a family will have more cohesion and better results than single mothers/fathers. The coli hates family, so

Not all single parents have the same issues/situations. Some single parents provide more stability for their children than children who come from two parent homes.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

The idea that mothers are nurturers and treat their daughters like princesses is not my experience and the I can't relate to the "daughters doing no wrong" in the mother -daughter dynamic. My mother was very hard on me- almost to the point of competitiveness and resentment. Lot of negative feedback. But she was much less assertive and restrictive, to the point of coddling the boys in the house coming up. Most of my female influences came from outside the home. My father was the mental nurturer as far as teaching us about interpersonal dynamics, being the parent to talk to. That's the issue I see - the weird type of jealousy or projection.

 

[froggle]

Not all single parents have the same issues/situations. Some single parents provide more stability for their children than children who come from two parent homes.

That's why I said for the most parts. There is always exceptions to the rule, but 2 people in a house vs 1 should always be ideal, simply because responsibilities are split

 

[Rhapture]

The idea that mothers are nurturers and treat their daughters like princesses is not my experience and the I can't relate to the "daughters doing no wrong" in the mother -daughter dynamic. My mother was very hard on me- almost to the point of competitiveness and resentment. Lot of negative feedback. But she was much less assertive and restrictive, to the point of coddling the boys in the house coming up. Most of my female influences came from outside the home. My father was the mental nurturer as far as teaching us about interpersonal dynamics, being the parent to talk to.

Are you the oldest or the only girl? Also do you think her coddling your brothers hindered them?

 

[null]

I keep reading/hearing black men and women complain about certain dynamics within the black family. "Black mothers raise their sons to be simps and subservient to the women in our community "- Black Men. "Black mothers coddle and enable their sons fukkboi behavior, treating them like princes who can do no wrong while daughters get treated like peasants"- Black Women. "Black fathers are extinct ". "Black fathers teach toxic masculinity to their sons ". "Black father's are too strict on their daughters which causes them to go wild and be thots when they get older/independent ". "Black parents are abusive" "Black parents don't discipline enough". I know all parents are not created equal and Every family has issues from time to time. It just seems like a lot of resentment from both ends. I just got finished reading an article where a black woman said that her mother raised her to be distrustful of other women and that's the reason why her relationships don't work out lol. It's kinda like a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation for the black family. Is it just me?.

You missed the real 'do' part(s). That's the 'bit' that is missing and the 'bit' which leads to all sorts of inter-generational issues. Ask those parents to name the top 5 things which they want to imbue their kids with and trust and believe, if they even manage to get past 3, or even get to 5, there will be certain things missing.

Don't believe me. Just go around and ask. Certain words will be conspicuous by their absence.

 

[AuntAnniesPretzels]

But what are our predecessors doing wrong or have done wrong? Complaints seem to contradict themselves.

- ridiculous OOW birthrate (still high hope it gets lower)

- not cooking for your kids and forcing them to survive off of fast food, Chinese food and processed corner store garbage

- Being a dikkhead to their kids and calling it “tough love”, families are supposed to be close not people who just tolerate each other because

- not properly warning them of mistakes

- not being invested enough in their kids education

The last 3 seem to be getting better with young black parents

 

[THE MACHINE]

Joking aside, this whole GMB thing is really disgraceful for a self proclaimed black site. Yes, adults step our on each other and marriage can be bad, or even end at times, but this whole wave of not even trying to create a unified home for a child/children is just terrible. The streets are hard enough to survive in a well maintained, two parent home. But to be basically saying "never get married to a black woman/man" "dont trust these women/men" and then expect the children to put faith in other black people is hypocritical. Fathers living their dreams through their sons and making them do what they wanted to do wit htheir own life. Women hating their daughters for having the looks they used to have.

This is the same hate the black church gets. I'm not even religious but I understand the importance of having good moral examples in a childs environment as much as possible. **Religion aside** Men's groups, womens groups, adults interacting with each other without swearing, marriage therapy, mental health help, going on group trips with black folk, listening to stories from elders in their twilight years, working in the black community to fix the black community. These are things the black church can provide that doesnt require bowing down to imaginary figures.

 

[Rhapture]

You missed the real 'do' part(s). That's the 'bit' that is missing and the 'bit' which leads to all sorts of inter-generational issues. Ask those parents to name the top 5 things which they want to imbue their kids with and trust and believe, if they even manage to get past 3, or even get to 5, there will be certain things missing.

Don't believe me. Just go around and ask. Certain words will be conspicuous by their absence.

Are you saying parents arent practicing what they preach? Or are you saying they have no plans when it comes to parenting?

 

[Shorty K]

Sounds like the root to alot of problems is black women not picking the right men to lay down with

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Are you the oldest or the only girl? Also do you think her coddling your brothers hindered them?

Yes, I'm the only girl in the family but not the oldest or the youngest. My older brothers, not so much but the youngest.. yes, definitely. always getting him out of trouble for whatever reason or another. He's spoiled af, and he can do no wrong in her eyes. Never really had to deal with being responsible for anything, puts less value in attaining things on his own and takes everyday things that people struggle and work for, for granted bc he's given what he wants. She's always there whenever he gets into financial situations- he had 2 cars repoed, she bought him a new one; hits me up for money bc he said he 'needs' it - then I see pics of him where he's posted up on vacation in Vegas; she paid for his apartment; his child support... never ending..smh

 

[AuntAnniesPretzels]

Sounds like the root to alot of problems is black women not picking the right men to lay down with

Uh oh I can hear the simps storming in here already