JOHN.KOOL
Manchester United/Atletico Madrid
You think your the only one who has felt like that? I have done that exact same thing numerous times, i have cried at nigh because i committed sexual sin, THE EXACT same thing you have said numerous times. I have walked around and looked at women and been sexually attracted and then felt so guilty about it that i wanted to cry and then never preyed for days because i was ashamed to even try act like a christian agin after what i had done, then i read the word and learned the truth of his word, the fact that you like that and you try and it pains you is because you are a child of God and you know it is not what you should be doing but you do not cry like a pitiful defeatist, it is the devil that wants you to react like that, it is those times where you recognise you are under attack and you call on God. In times of temptations and struggle you call on God to strengthen you and he will
Roams 7 verse 15, 'For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate' This struggle is well spoken about in the bible. You must understand that your feelings of remorse and guilt are from the holy spirit that dwells in you, it means that God is with you. All you must do is repent and that very instant when you ask for forgiveness in guilt and remorse God has forgiven you, his mercy is unlimited and he will always forgive you and if you understand that then you will realise you no longer have anything to feel guilty about, it is all forgotten. Crying and beating yourself up and dwelling on the sin you have done is from the DEVIL, it is his tactic to break your spirit and your resolve, to make you feel you are worthless and are headed to hell and you will never change. You are not going to become a saint overnight, you will stumble and you will fall, but the test of if God is with you is how you react, the initial guilt is confirmation that God and the holy spirit is still with you and is convicted you and warning you that this temptation and this sin is an attack from the nemy. Recognise that and acknowledge it, acknowledge the fact that he is still with you and repent and ask him to strengthen you, it is these times that you turn to him. When you have fallen and stumbled. Dont fall into the trap of the devil to cry and beat yourself up and act like you are defeated, Jesus Christ died for your sins, he knew you were going to commit that sin and he still died for it, the war against sin and the flesh is the war your fighting, he just wants you to continue to fight it, to not give up, to look for him and seek him in those times and BELIEVE that he died for that sin already and he loves you and has forgiven you if you ask.
DO NOT give up and abandon him in order to free yourself from the guilt because i tell you now the moment you feel like that is the moment that you have lost, the moment you can commit sin and feel nothing, no remorse, no guilt, no pain whatsoever that is when you have lost because that means the holy spirit is no longer with you, God is no longer with you convicting you. The bible says you must pick up your cross and walk every day and crucify your flesh, Christ walk with the cross wasn't easy and his Crucifixion wasn't easy, it was painful. So what do you imagine your experience of picking up your cross and crucifying your flesh will feel like. It is a war my friend, Jesus loves you and has forgiven you and has died for every single you will commit already, they are all already nailed to the cross. You just have to make that painful walk with your cross, seek him for strength, do not give up and cry and be a defeatist but realise that sin and the desire to sin is an attack from the enemy that will come and the bible says it will come and fight it. Faith and perseverance and you will be victorious over Satan and you will defeat the power of sin. Read the word everyday to build your strength and your faith. Fight the good fight of faith my friend, ive been there and i still am.
(Sidenote: I'm not saying I'm happy now. I wasnt happy trying to follow Christianity, and I'm not happy now. I guess I need to sit down and figure out why that truly is and fix it)