Choked a dude out at work.
We worked in a call center. People clowned around a lot. This particular day dude was catching feelings about other people fukking with him. Come the end of the day I'm looking for my keys and can't find them. After about 10 minutes of looking someone else tells me dude hid my keys. So I go confront him about it and he acts stupid. I look behind his computer and see my keys. Grab them and tell dude.
"You better quit fukking wit me for I beat the shyt outa you

"
He's still on the phone with a customer, puts it on mute and says
"If yo fat lard ass come over her talking shyt again........."
And I just grabbed him by his fukking neck. Another employee had to pull me off of him.
Most funny shyt was the customer heard him getting choked and after I let go he says to the customer
"Did you hear that? He just assulted me".
 
Crazy thing was I almost didn't get fired. It was the end of the day so nobody saw it. I worked the whole next day and some hating ass nikka told one of the managers. They called me in the office, I told them what happened, they fired me right there.
