Solutions on dealing with heartbreak?

With all details available, is this relationship worth salvaging?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No

    Votes: 76 91.6%
  • Possibly (but give reasons)

    Votes: 7 8.4%

  • Total voters
    83

Lieutenant Daniels

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Major case squad
Long story short, I can fill in details as we go along to be more specific but this is the summary:

So, I went out of town for work in November, for two months. While out of town we really started going thru it, which was a continuation of some long standing issues, chiefly, money. I wasn't sending her enough money, I'd twice sent her home money in November and early December. In late-December, right after Christmas, she asked for more money, and I told her no...

And it went downhill from there...

So money has always been one of, if not the, biggest issues in our relationship...

When I told her no, I told her I was done with her reaching in my pockets, I laid out the initial breakup. This is literally December 29. It just happened, we're talking two months...

She didn't like that initially...

We didn't speak for two or three days (January 2), and when we started talking again, it was tenuous but initially respectful. I made the comment that she was still my woman on some lighthearted joking sh!t, and she told me she wasn't. I came back home in January and went over her place and we had a huge, huge argument about our daughter. This is January 21, she told me to leave and I was never welcome at her place again...

From January 21, we had several conversations where we discussed making it work bit nothing official. So technically we've been broken up since December 29. In the time we've talked from that point, she never mentioned this guy...

Fast forward to February 19, and boom. Man answers the door. And he's still there, I just went over on Thursday and he was there...

She's told me in spurts what she's hurt about shyt I've done, chiefly being, I moved an hour away and didn't tell her, she found out thru mutual acquaintances and it was confirmed by my oldest daughter when we went over on January 21; and the fact that in her perception, I've always been stingy about supporting her with money...

There are a few other mentions of grievances and I've aired my sh!t with her too, but those are the two big things she hasn't forgiven me for yet...

In some ways our relationship feels salvageable. But the big elephant to me, is she's refusing to answer my questions about this man. I got a little info on him from a homeboy of mine who knows her, I, and incidentally him. But I've asked her direct questions:

•how long has he been there?
•when did this thing with him start, and how?
•when is he leaving?

Only thing she's offered in retirn is:

he's a "friend", he's giving her money to stay there, she doesn't know when he's leaving, he aint her man and they arent intimate...

She won't answer the first two questions at all and it's hurt me. Like I'm torn in between believing her and allowing her space and time to talk to me, and then, not allowing myself to not get the hint---->ain't no man living with no woman and ain't nothing going on. This part of me is like, take the fukking hint, Rodney...

And it's crushing me emotionally...
I said it before and I’ll say it again, when a woman is resolute in walking away it’s ALWAYS because another man is in the picture.

I’m willing to bet that she was setting up this play even before you left for work, money was just the excuse to make the switch.

Never ask a woman why they’re breaking up with you. You might hear some dream shattering shyt. Ignorance is bliss. Just walk cold turkey and take care of your kids.
 

TheHonorableOmarSharif

HOLGang President U.N.I.T. Representative
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I'm trying, man. Everything else in my life is well. But I didn't see this one coming, not as I near 34 later this year. And it's really, really working me out emotionally...

All I do is work and come home, on my off days I have my girls to keep me busy. But nothing takes my mind off of it and I'm really struggling right now...

Any suggestions are accepted and appreciated, it's rough right now...
Keep your head up. Sometimes relationships don't work out because they aren't meant to; they are chapters you grow from.

What did you learn from this one? :jbhmm:
 

Dre God

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Long story short, I can fill in details as we go along to be more specific but this is the summary:

So, I went out of town for work in November, for two months. While out of town we really started going thru it, which was a continuation of some long standing issues, chiefly, money. I wasn't sending her enough money, I'd twice sent her home money in November and early December. In late-December, right after Christmas, she asked for more money, and I told her no...

And it went downhill from there...

200w.gif


You boys be safe out there, the modern woman still treating dating like roundabout prostitution.

OP gave his seed to that bytch not once, but twice now he dealing with the harsh realities of having a Thot pocket as a BM.
 

UncleTomFord15

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My nikka hit the gym or start boxing.

Shorty seem like she only saw you as a lick and now she another nikka's problem. She resents you too much already to fix shyt.

Just focus on you and your jit.
This gym and boxing. And maybe hit the strip club or something. And try online dating. But don't feel some type of way if you don't get much matches (most men get little to no matches). Your 34, although it may seem late; you likely have another 40 to 50 plus years of life left :manny: .
 

murksiderock

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SMF and LAX to VA and NC
I agree with you guys in my sober mind. It's just a tough process right now given how new everything is...

Why tell me she loves me last Sunday if she's moved on? Why tell me "he's not my man" if he is? I feel like I could process this shyt so much easier if she was straightforward...

My homeboy who did some digging told me he doesn't think it's like that, old boy wife put him out and my ex took him in. Said it's allegedly temporary, and he of course agreed with me that we never fully know what is going on with other people. Bit if he could confirm something was happening, he would...

I do think that her and him are intimate, it's a relationship or fling or whatever. I just don't get why lie about it once it's all out here on the table. And the speed with which she moved on kinda affirms to me that this shyt was already in the works, she just used that other shyt to justify it. I do feel that...

As of right now I still love her so it's hard to digest this shyt...
 

SoSoSlick

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Time and therapy breh. And do everything you can to not reset that time by revisiting all the memories and good times. It's tough because doing that both helps and hurts but does more damage towards ultimately getting her out of your system. You have to let go of the hope it can ever be again and face reality. Stop contacting her, stop chasing, and do you. Good luck and hold your head.
 

LuuqMaan

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I agree with you guys in my sober mind. It's just a tough process right now given how new everything is...

Why tell me she loves me last Sunday if she's moved on? Why tell me "he's not my man" if he is? I feel like I could process this shyt so much easier if she was straightforward...

My homeboy who did some digging told me he doesn't think it's like that, old boy wife put him out and my ex took him in. Said it's allegedly temporary, and he of course agreed with me that we never fully know what is going on with other people. Bit if he could confirm something was happening, he would...

I do think that her and him are intimate, it's a relationship or fling or whatever. I just don't get why lie about it once it's all out here on the table. And the speed with which she moved on kinda affirms to me that this shyt was already in the works, she just used that other shyt to justify it. I do feel that...

As of right now I still love her so it's hard to digest this shyt...
bruh, based on your two comments, to me it feels like your ego is more bruised than anything.

Like, how was you blindsided by this other dude.

Wish you the best bruh. Only time and keeping busy can heal a heartbreak
 

OneManGang

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Bro you’re too old to be heartbroken. You got a job and your life together. Get on these dating apps, hit the bars, go on a vacation to a resort. Figure it out, lift weights, get a new hobby, hang with your boys. And find some new p*ssy asap…it sucks starting over but she didn’t value you…you the prize remember that

You’re only in your feeling bc your pride taking a hit, wondering about questions she will probably NEVER give you the answers to. All you need to know is she’s most likely getting new dikk and you gotta move on with your life.
 
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