I fing love yall man I am in tears. All true though. Shyt one of Psalms chapters is taken straight from one of the Egyptian Pharoahs songs to the god Aten.
Religion/Spirituality The official Bizarre Bible Stories Thread
- Thread starter Robbie3000
- Start date
Mr. Somebody
Friend Of A Friend
Life is a test. Its obvious the kingdom of God doesnt accept demonic filth so you are going to be put through the ringer, here, so you can be made into something greater then just a man. Hopefully we dont fail.
So tell us how Yahweh is dealing with this issue of skeptism today because the editors didn't listen to him when he said to hurry up with the publication and to correct the errors......
Thats what happened right?
matthew 5:43-48. bring it in brehs, i love ya'll
luke 14:25-27.... and with that being said fukk ALL YALL
fukk everyone and everything on this planet. matter of fact, fukk me too cuz i aint shyt bytch ass nikka. i hope we all rot in hell 
.... so i can be a disciple for jesus!
Julius Skrrvin
I be winkin' through the scope
thanks, we will
My dog used to be so respectful and generous when he was a little cute puppy.....
Now ever since his teenage dog years he has been getting way too out of hand......
I hope when he dies he repents before going to animal hell
I love how supposed believers in the bible just disregard the old testament 
as if its not the bible just because it has a bunch of fukked up shyt in it that you don't agree with and can't rationalize.
as if its not the bible just because it has a bunch of fukked up shyt in it that you don't agree with and can't rationalize.I love how supposed believers in the bible just disregard the old testament
What is even more hilarious is when they go into one of those _______insert certain country needs to realize that it is because they have "Lost the way of the lord" that they struggle so much....
They do this with countries like Haiti......and start talking about their demonic practices(voodoo) being a big reason for their failures......
So when they gonna tell us about how Japan got 1000 times less religious post Hiroshima/Nagasaki and 1000 times more advanced at the same time?
I thought we needed God to be successful?
In all seriousness though, its been way too long. Old Testament and New Testament are certifiable classics. But I think it is time that boy Yahweh hits up with another classic to complete the trinity.
Julius Skrrvin
I be winkin' through the scope
Newest Testament
YoungMasterGold
Rookie
Joshua 7
7 But the children of Israel committed a trespass in the accursed thing: for Achan, the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took of the accursed thing: and the anger of the Lord was kindled against the children of Israel.
...
19 And Joshua said unto Achan, My son, give, I pray thee, glory to the Lord God of Israel, and make confession unto him; and tell me now what thou hast done; hide it not from me.
20 And Achan answered Joshua, and said, Indeed I have sinned against the Lord God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done:
21 When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it.
22 So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran unto the tent; and, behold, it was hid in his tent, and the silver under it.
23 And they took them out of the midst of the tent, and brought them unto Joshua, and unto all the children of Israel, and laid them out before the Lord.
24 And Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver, and the garment, and the wedge of gold, and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had: and they brought them unto the valley of Achor.
25 And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the Lord shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.
Cliff notes:
- God's chosen are told not to take any spoils after a battle
- Achan nicks some stuff
- God's bloodthirsty chosen, lose another battle
- It's because Achan stole shyt.
- They find the stolen spoils
- Stone Achan, his wife and children. Then burn them.
One of the stories that disturbed me as a child.
7 But the children of Israel committed a trespass in the accursed thing: for Achan, the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took of the accursed thing: and the anger of the Lord was kindled against the children of Israel.
...
19 And Joshua said unto Achan, My son, give, I pray thee, glory to the Lord God of Israel, and make confession unto him; and tell me now what thou hast done; hide it not from me.
20 And Achan answered Joshua, and said, Indeed I have sinned against the Lord God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done:
21 When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it.
22 So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran unto the tent; and, behold, it was hid in his tent, and the silver under it.
23 And they took them out of the midst of the tent, and brought them unto Joshua, and unto all the children of Israel, and laid them out before the Lord.
24 And Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver, and the garment, and the wedge of gold, and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had: and they brought them unto the valley of Achor.
25 And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the Lord shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.
Cliff notes:
- God's chosen are told not to take any spoils after a battle
- Achan nicks some stuff
- God's bloodthirsty chosen, lose another battle
- It's because Achan stole shyt.
- They find the stolen spoils
- Stone Achan, his wife and children. Then burn them.
One of the stories that disturbed me as a child.
Newest Testament
A story of Yahweh's new role as the Judge of the New Age Kingdom........
Black Mufasa
the cac mamba
Banned
we dont all fear your invisible father figure. the fact that you think we are all born into such mental slavery is absolutely disgusting.
your flavor of the month religion doesnt have one more shred of credibility than the older ones you pass off as myths. you havent addressed any of the
stories in this thread, youve just called us 'evil sinners' 
we dont all fear your invisible father figure. the fact that you think we are all born into such mental slavery is absolutely disgusting.
your flavor of the month religion doesnt have one more shred of credibility than the older ones you pass off as myths. you havent addressed any of the
Ive been thinking about one day 10 years or so taking advantage of a sexy milf who is God fearing and pretending im a hardcore religious person.....
Those broads get crazy with the sex game when they fukking for the Lord
"Your a young man in your early 30s with a successful career as an electrical engineer, a nice home, superb credit rating, nice car, impeccable dress style,etc......The Lord certainly has blessed you my brother !!! What do I have to do for him to do the same for a poor woman like me........."
the cac mamba
Banned
Ive been thinking about one day 10 years or so taking advantage of a sexy milf who is God fearing and pretending im a hardcore religious person.....
Those broads get crazy with the sex game when they fukking for the Lord
"Your a young man in your early 30s with a successful career as an electrical engineer, a nice home, superb credit rating, nice car, impeccable dress style,etc......The Lord certainly has blessed you my brother !!! What do I have to do for him to do the same for a poor woman like me........."
i mean, to believe these bullshyt stories based on NOTHING but a book thats cosigned by the worlds premiere child molesting league is simply :belip: