The Simp Bible...

[froggle]

Book Reveal-ations

Chapter 3:21

and it was uttered, Simpin aint easy

Historians have always wondered the right way to interpret that line and if you follow archaeological sources back to 1993, you can get the full explanation.

It seems the writings and verse of a renowned group Boyz II Men brought back the term simpin aint easy



just look at their lyrics

Sympin' ain't easy
Get on your hands and knees and lift your eyebrows
Sympin' ain't easy
And if you wanna get it, then you gotta be willin'
Cryin', beggin', pleadin' on your knees

From this we can see that Simps have a hard time, because they deliver everything the female wants, yet they still have to beg and plead, even on their knees. Alpha males would never be put in that position as it would be the woman who would be "Cryin', beggin', pleadin' on your knees". Is this what they call a paradox?

 

[Renkz]

The hyms of Somebody @Mr. Somebody
Chapter 2 verse 1 - 3

Seekth a woman of pure elegance that has not been destroyed by the marking of demons across her body with eyelashes of not of her own.
These are the demons to fear as mixture of pigments in her hair are the signs of the end is near. Do not indulge her, as her animals prints take form of leprosy to destroy your heart. The sight of metallic insertions on her bosom will be apparent with the lack of her own lack of self respect. Turn away I say, another horror hidden from it all, she is unable to brew a meal.

 

[Suicide King]

Dudes think they pimping, but can't keep a girl for more than a few months.

Being on the phone with her for months and never bringing up sex will result in an everlasting love.

 

[Disciple of the Projects]

Book Reveal-ations

Chapter 3:21

and it was uttered, Simpin aint easy

Historians have always wondered the right way to interpret that line and if you follow archaeological sources back to 1993, you can get the full explanation.

It seems the writings and verse of a renowned group Boyz II Men brought back the term simpin aint easy



just look at their lyrics



From this we can see that Simps have a hard time, because they deliver everything the female wants, yet they still have to beg and plead, even on their knees. Alpha males would never be put in that position as it would be the woman who would be "Cryin', beggin', pleadin' on your knees". Is this what they call a paradox?

Holy cow, I didn't even know that song EXISTED. nikkas have no shame out here.....

 

[Recca Gatsby]

That no bammer shyt got me fukkin DEAD

 

[BAMBA]

Just ask yourselves...

"What Would Don Draper Do?"

 

[Disciple of the Projects]

Some of these nikkas is just fukking weirdos. I dont know how else to articulate it; you want to hope that some of these cats are trolling but they are deadass about the shyt they spew.

A lot of you cats cosigning this "Ew, girls have cooties, don't talk to them" elementary school mentality are salty because their dikk has been dry for a hot minute.

But carry on

Next time name names you lil soft serve care bear nikka.

You coming up in a comedy thread with your soaking wet vagina all up in your feelings just like a fukk nikka raised by women. Calling people weirdos?

www.thecoli.com/threads/fellas-is-it-okay-to-take-pride-in-your-ass.206617/


Word?


Look how upset you are because you think people in here talking about your home life, a whole bunch of kicked to the curb cum dumpsters sitting around eating pork talking about how men aint shyt. while lil bytch ass "neffy" is in between one of their legs getting his hair braided sipping a capri sun.

Thats why its so easy to ask men about their butts, but get mad at a comedy skit.....not even about women you fukking worm.

 

[CACarot]

Book of Simprinthians

Chapter 10 verse 11

"Be like the samaritous carpenter and always be willing to dedicate ones work to a jezebel. For offering help with no return is the most fulfilling way to live. Assemble ikea bed frames knowing a stranger from a foriegn land will put the fruits of your labor to the test with his demonic pelvic thrust, girations, and moans. As they begat the beast of two backs , sit at home looking at the moon in the heavens pondering if she is gazing at the same celestial body with like minded thoughts as you. Trust in the lord for one day you will be the bed breaker and not bed maker in eternal divination and glory"

 

[JasonSJackson]

Book of Simprinthians

Chapter 10 verse 11

"Be like the samaritous carpenter and always be willing to dedicate ones work to a jezebel. For offering help with no return is the most fulfilling way to live. Assemble ikea bed frames knowing a stranger from a foriegn land will put the fruits of your labor to the test with his demonic pelvic thurst, girations, and moans. As they begat the beast of two backs , sit at home looking at the moon in the heavens pondering if she is gazing at the same celestial body with like minded thoughts as you. Trust in the lord for one day you will be the bed breaker and not bed maker in eternal divination and glory"

Hahahahahahahaha

 

[No_bammer_weed]

Learn to take a joke breh.

Eh, I suppose. I didnt find it funny; but to each his own.

 

[MostReal]

From the book of @No_bammer_weed

chapter 5 Verse 49



And on the days when his lusts were to be fulfilled, Sharice looked up and said: No_bammer_weed, thou hast gifted me with fine things, and has harkened unto my voice for 3 hours at a time on the phone. Im so glad to have thou as a FRIEND. Like my Big Brother. Myself and other harlots shall be embarking unto a homosexual nightclub filled with sodomites. You will be embarking with us, because thou aren't homophobic. You are a real man.
In which no_bammer_weed replied: "I respect that. And I respect you, Lil Sis" And put on his finest garments, and went to pick them up.

cannot believe that Boyz to Men made that song

never knew it was a song called that

 

[MAKAVELI25]

From the book of @No_bammer_weed

chapter 5 Verse 49



And on the days when his lusts were to be fulfilled, Sharice looked up and said: No_bammer_weed, thou hast gifted me with fine things, and has harkened unto my voice for 3 hours at a time on the phone. Im so glad to have thou as a FRIEND. Like my Big Brother. Myself and other harlots shall be embarking unto a homosexual nightclub filled with sodomites. You will be embarking with us, because thou aren't homophobic. You are a real man.
In which no_bammer_weed replied: "I respect that. And I respect you, Lil Sis" And put on his finest garments, and went to pick them up.

 

[Versa]

From the book of @No_bammer_weed

chapter 5 Verse 49



And on the days when his lusts were to be fulfilled, Sharice looked up and said: No_bammer_weed, thou hast gifted me with fine things, and has harkened unto my voice for 3 hours at a time on the phone. Im so glad to have thou as a FRIEND. Like my Big Brother. Myself and other harlots shall be embarking unto a homosexual nightclub filled with sodomites. You will be embarking with us, because thou aren't homophobic. You are a real man.
In which no_bammer_weed replied: "I respect that. And I respect you, Lil Sis" And put on his finest garments, and went to pick them up.

One of the great posts in coli history.

As a former simp, I can say that one of the worst feelings in the world is when you devote so much of your time, energy, and emotions into a girl you're feeling only for them to say some shyt like "thanks, you're such a good friend to me!!" or "thanks big bro!". Such a shytty feeling.

Devote all your resources to a woman who sees you as nothing but a bench player when you can be focusing on linking up with women who treat you like an all star brehs. Then mask it as "just being a nice guy" so you can feel better about yourselves brehs.

 

[Soundwave]

First Letter of **** to the Colinthians:

"I am not ****."

I really wish I could rep this post twice

So simple, yet so effective

 

[Suicide King]

One of the great posts in coli history.

As a former simp, I can say that one of the worst feelings in the world is when you devote so much of your time, energy, and emotions into a girl you're feeling only for them to say some shyt like "thanks, you're such a good friend to me!!" or "thanks big bro!". Such a shytty feeling.

Devote all your resources to a woman who sees you as nothing but a bench player when you can be focusing on linking up with women who treat you like an all star brehs. Then mask it as "just being a nice guy" so you can feel better about yourselves brehs.

That's not simping. You gotta take a chance. I remember chasing my fair lady while paying no attention to women who used to flirt with me or turning down women who would ask to hang out. I can't lie, its a rush.

And that feeling you feel is regret, which is okay to feel when dealing love lost.