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The things I've seen, heard, and smelled. the former Life of an installer...
- Thread starter thesandman
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- fuckery storytelling
Did you accept the offer?
I'm about my fukking cash that bytch paid me.Did you accept the offer?
I can smash a bytch better looking than her with one swipe on Tinder respect yourself
So that's a yes then...
True Darkseid
All Star
Breh the shyt I seen being a Direct TV Tech. Had one chick walking around and cooking breakfast in her robe with no belt offering me some. Had a group of snakes in a crawl space. Had a nest of fukking scorpions in a new house. A passed out chick in a room that had the main box, and she was getting her eagle on in her skirt.So I've seen some crazy shyt during my times in folks homes. I would be one of many guys that would install networks, computers, servers, home theater, and other consumer electronics.
I'll start from the beginning...
My first day, my first job. I was nervous AF but excited. My partner...a vet in the game gave me The dos and donts off top. Which was essentially follow his lead and use common sense... Respect their homes, etc.
The first client was an older Chinese chick who was open about everything... Including her failed marriage.
I'm showing her the in and outs of her new stuff including a new computer and she goes... in extremely broken English. "Where i fine the...uuh... The X!?"
Que Que??
She asks again but even hyper..."the X!?..."
UM...
"the X, X!?"
This woman was asking me how to find porn!!!?
Oh hell naw I'm not finna get fired on my first day
I just kept hitting her with the
But she just kept on..
I was like... miss... Just use Google...To search for whatever you're looking for but i can't help you...
Shorty dead ass hit me with the... "I'm looking for the good shyt, with the big ones!"
She was trying to get her life i guess...
My partner for some reason leaves the room...wtf!!!? Was this a test!?!?!?!
Nugga leaves me with this horny old ass heffer who starts to just go in on her husband who wasn't home at the time btw...
"The only reason why he marry, cause he want green card..."
Uuuh ok.
* Feeling awkward af... She staring at me...*
Me: Dang miss that's unfortunate..
... What a sucka
She just continues to blurt just straight slander on my man like
"He can't do me anymore because he has the diabete..."
"Can't keep it up..."
I can't front i was holding back laughter at this point... She's walking around the room just taking trash about replacing dude. Her dildo... Seriously i was dumbfounded. She somehow try to slide me her personal number talking about she'd give me a discount on some liquor since she owned a store...sheeeeit...
After the job was done my partner who was silently observing the whole time looks at me and bursts out in a big ol drunk uncle at a family reunion type laugh...
I'm dying too but the message was clear... Welcome to the world of install...
More stories of foul fukkery to come!!!
I feel your pain breh. You don't know what you are are going to get on any install.
thesandman
Peace.
I dunno but that's what she said. Crazy.Diabetes affects your erections ?
She would be paying me to hit it stop. Never fukked that raggedy broadSo that's a yes then...
Never. Mouth looked like incest
thesandman
Peace.
I've got a couple stories about temps that ain't shyt. This will be in several parts. Be advised.
This Temp was supposed to meet me at a store at 12 pm. Never met him before but he worked with a few of my co workers earlier in the week. We have been using this temp agency during the holidays for the past two years at this point with mixed results.
It's now 12:10 so I get his number from a co-worker and shoot him a text
Me: hey this is sandman just checking in to see if everything is good?
Temp: omw be there in 15.
Long story short this nikka did this until 1pm!! He'd text me I'm almost there every 10-15 minutes talking bout I'm almost there. He finally pulls up and introduces himself. We hop in the Van and get going. We'll call him Terrell. He's a young cat that never did installs before. Great. On the way to the job he explains that he really wants to get into the company full time but he lives all the way in a neighboring state. (now I know why you was really late) I don't get why ppl do this when you don't get paid that well.
We went and knocked out a job and I gotta say he's a quick learner. Onward to the second job homie starts getting comfortable and Starts talking that Illuminati/tin foil hat shyt. You could tell he just started watching YouTube videos about the topic.
By the last job I told him I'd drop him off at his whip and he shot me a confused look.
Terrell: damn we already done?
Sandman: yeah we had a quick day. Finished up early.
Terrell: so we still get our hours?
Sandman: No. Sometimes we can clean the van and shyt like that but today we got nothing else to do so we'll just roll out.
Terrell: yeah the other day we didn't get off till late that's why I asked.
Sandman: yeah we just got lucky today with a Easy day.
Come to find out later Terrell lied on his timesheet and said he got in at 12 and left way after me. He also dry snitched and told my boss that one of my coworkers didn't split a tip with him even though he definitely did. Smh. Problem is we're not supposed to accept tips. So he almost got my coworker fired. He wasn't welcomed back.
This Temp was supposed to meet me at a store at 12 pm. Never met him before but he worked with a few of my co workers earlier in the week. We have been using this temp agency during the holidays for the past two years at this point with mixed results.
It's now 12:10 so I get his number from a co-worker and shoot him a text
Me: hey this is sandman just checking in to see if everything is good?
Temp: omw be there in 15.
Long story short this nikka did this until 1pm!! He'd text me I'm almost there every 10-15 minutes talking bout I'm almost there. He finally pulls up and introduces himself. We hop in the Van and get going. We'll call him Terrell. He's a young cat that never did installs before. Great. On the way to the job he explains that he really wants to get into the company full time but he lives all the way in a neighboring state. (now I know why you was really late) I don't get why ppl do this when you don't get paid that well.
We went and knocked out a job and I gotta say he's a quick learner. Onward to the second job homie starts getting comfortable and Starts talking that Illuminati/tin foil hat shyt. You could tell he just started watching YouTube videos about the topic.
By the last job I told him I'd drop him off at his whip and he shot me a confused look.
Terrell: damn we already done?
Sandman: yeah we had a quick day. Finished up early.
Terrell: so we still get our hours?
Sandman: No. Sometimes we can clean the van and shyt like that but today we got nothing else to do so we'll just roll out.
Terrell: yeah the other day we didn't get off till late that's why I asked.
Sandman: yeah we just got lucky today with a Easy day.
Come to find out later Terrell lied on his timesheet and said he got in at 12 and left way after me. He also dry snitched and told my boss that one of my coworkers didn't split a tip with him even though he definitely did. Smh. Problem is we're not supposed to accept tips. So he almost got my coworker fired. He wasn't welcomed back.
DropTopDoc
20/20 Vision With my Buffs On
Subs
Diabetes affects your erections ?
yes, terrible blood flow and you lose sensation.
Bushmaster
All Star
I remember my first job out of college was as an asst manager with Rent-a-Center. We used to have mad strippers renting from the store, because of course them hoes be on the move a lot. One time me and my coworker went to deliver some furniture out in adamsville, which is project in Atl. Well little did I know, this nikka was on some other shyt. Ol hood ass west side atl nikka.
We get there and it's 2 broads, a slim brown skin jawn and a brownish red thick jawn. They both had ass but they faces wasn't all that. So, when we get there, this nikka was like "wassup shawty" and started hugging on the broad. Then he said something a long the lines of "I told you I got you right" She was smiling like a mafukka. Well we put the furniture in the house and I mean they had a whole bunch of shyt. Sofa, TV, Bed, tables and shyt. Keep in mind it's the middle of the summer and I'm hot and tired then a mafukka. So when we get done, my coworker takes ol girl (slim brown jawn) to the back and they doing their thing. I ain't no stupid nikka, so I knew they was fukking. I didn't give a fukk though because I was flirting with the homegirl, and she was twerking and letting me feel on her. Wouldn't let me fukk though but I got her number. Well when we left, this nikka tells me he gave that hoe ALL that free furniture for some p*ssy and head. I wasbut then kinda mad because I took all that furniture in the house, so that nikka could get some p*ssy.
Come to find out they both stripped at blue flame, which I kinda assumed by how they was dressing and acting. Not too hard to spot stripper bytches.
I used to be a CAR for RAC. I swear to Black Jesus I hate that place still, 8 years later. Me and my coworker had the luck of working near downtown Detroit, where it's a lot of old ass apartment buildings with no elevators. Carry a replacement refrigerator to the third floor, just to carry down the bad one, brehs.
