Because this is what black men often see and bob their heads to, they believe this to be the true essence of the “real” black woman. I challenge black men to change their people, places, and situations if they are looking for a “real” black woman. The black women who are gentle-spirited, intelligent, maternal, ambitious, self-sufficient, self-disciplined, mentally healthy, who have the ability to submit, and know how to be supportive – is probably not in the club every weekend. She is not showing her body parts on social media every five minutes. She is not spending every dime that she doesn’t have on Brazilian hair, acrylic nails, and the latest designer purse. She may be studying to further her education or learning how to better herself in general. She may be sleeping on Saturday night because she has to go to church Sunday morning. She is surrounding herself with others who will help her grow into the woman that she wants to be.