Tyler Perry Suggests that BW settle....does not go over well

[Ohene]

Listen. No shame in working ANY job, especially since black men still face discrimination in the labor market. Salute, and I mean that.

My issue is, why do black women HAVE to marry down? Why can't she marry on her level or higher? There are real consequences to this for women, but bw are expected to look past logic and reality just to have a man on her arm.

you literally said that black women do not make more money than black men
forget the marrying down argument....why arent black women simply happy enough with the abundance of men who make more than them?

we know the answer...but lets see you juelz through your theory

 

[seabreeze80]

you literally said that black women do not make more money than black men
forget the marrying down argument....why arent black women simply happy enough with the abundance of men who make more than them?

we know the answer...but lets see you juelz through your theory

Idk nurses and physician assistants and such have a tendency to date and marry men who make significantly less than them. Issa stereotype that bw in healthcare date down or get with bums.

 

[Ryda52]

Because I know white, European and Hispanic couples that worked together whether the husband or wife made more money. A relationship is built on character, morale, cultural beliefs and goals but not solely focused on a man's monetary wealth.

This. How any black person can just marry out the race is just mind boggling to me and speaks volumes.

 

[Stuntone]

Standards are what you're accustomed to. Most women have been chasing players and broke migo knockoffs. Wake up 30+ and call 6 figure men their Standards

 

[theGoldmangod]

The other guy is correct. You wrote a whole lot of nothing. Perry was wrong to begin with about black women making more, as many people in this thread stated. So already he's full of it. You should have some smoke for him for that.

Outside of that, he had a point about some women needing to marry down, however, he should have noted that a lot of that has to do with some if not a lot of these women being so unbearable that only someone making less will put up with up with them. That's it really. A pleasant, well to do black woman with little to no baggage that really wants to be wifed up will be wifed up. Outside of that, she'll struggle and will not be able to call the shots and if she is fixated on getting married, she'll have to change or "settle". It doesn't help that the man she wants undoubtedly has women who are willing to become the woman he wants. She can adapt or settle. Her move.

Your post has nothing to do with mine. Sounds like some shyt you're going through personally that I can't relate to and don't give a fukk about.

I'm talking about this type of talk being insulting to Black men and THE most emasculating thing they do to us as far as image. Nothing worse than portraying a group of men as so pitiful that you don't even think he's capable of supporting his woman and his seeds.

You nikkas want to make it about everything else but that, but that's really what it boils down to.

And even if you don't have the foresight to understand the impact this has on the image of the black man, at least try having the foresight to understand the type of women and the type of environment this creates. If your woman has to slug it out everyday in the corporate world to get her half or more of the bills, come home and do the womanly shyt you want her to do as well like cooking and cleaning and child rearing, that will weigh on her.

Yall out here creating tired, angry, masculine women, and then wondering why they aren't cooperative and feminine and willing to get with your program as a man.

Black men need to be striving to be providers and leaders of our households, full stop. Not constantly trying to negotiate with Black women why we shouldn't have to do that shyt, but should be treated as if we do.

 

[Problematic Pat]

even though she's an intelligent poster...

the narrative about broke/unfit men is so strong in our community...

her subconscious still believes men are the problem



statistics facts data show black men have their shyt together just as much if not more than black women

but still...

(any problem in dating/marriage in our community) = "well black men just need to get their shyt together"



this is the perfect example of how ingrained it is... they cant even control themselves

even though she's an intelligent poster...

the narrative about broke/unfit men is so strong in our community...

her subconscious still believes men are the problem



statistics facts data show black men have their shyt together just as much if not more than black women

but still...

(any problem in dating/marriage in our community) = "well black men just need to get their shyt together"



this is the perfect example of how ingrained it is... they cant even control themselves

I don't think majority of Black people realize how deeply entrenched that line of thinking is in the Black community. Jeff Bezos ex-wife main suitor was a high school science teacher not the men in or anywhere near her tax bracket. The "sistahood"
cries all day about struggle love but Halle Berry is left paying $200,000 a year to not 1 but 2 white men for child support after those failed relationships. Serena Williams married down and not in or above her tax bracket like these chicks think is magically going to happen to them if they just get a white or non Black man. Reality TV shows like House Wives of Atlanta and Instagram posts of Black celebrities only showing the good times of their lives has really screwed up these chicks brains.

In some fantasy world white men are spoiling all women they date with Birkin bags, Lamborghini trucks, designer everything, and mansions.
These chicks whine about going 50/50 as if that's not the normal arrangement in almost all middle class relationships. Majority of the chicks complaining wouldn't even meet the minimum standards of a man that could provide the fantasy life they think they deserve.

 

[Problematic Pat]

Your post has nothing to do with mine. Sounds like some shyt you're going through personally that I can't relate to and don't give a fukk about.

I'm talking about this type of talk being insulting to Black men and THE most emasculating thing they do to us as far as image. Nothing worse than portraying a group of men as so pitiful that you don't even think he's capable of supporting his woman and his seeds.

You nikkas want to make it about everything else but that, but that's really what it boils down to.

And even if you don't have the foresight to understand the impact this has on the image of the black man, at least try having the foresight to understand the type of women and the type of environment this creates. If your woman has to slug it out everyday in the corporate world to get her half or more of the bills, come home and do the womanly shyt you want her to do as well like cooking and cleaning and child rearing, that will weigh on her.

Yall out here creating tired, angry, masculine women, and then wondering why they aren't cooperative and feminine and willing to get with your program as a man.

Black men need to be striving to be providers and leaders of our households, full stop. Not constantly trying to negotiate with Black women why we shouldn't have to do that shyt, but should be treated as if we do.

Women of other races do all that as well but why aren't they turning masculine??? 75% of married women HAVE to work. But somehow Black men are supposed to be the only men that have stay at home wives.

 

[Shadow King]

As long as our women place a premium on physical traits and "swag", however you define it, to go with high earning men, this will always be an issue...

 

[Savvir]

f your woman has to slug it out everyday in the corporate world to get her half or more of the bills, come home and do the womanly shyt you want her to do as well like cooking and cleaning and child rearing, that will weigh on her.

looking at the statistics of our women who have kids...

72% of the mothers in our community do all those things by themselves already... with no additional help, income, or care from a man. And statistics show that a man in the house (regardless of income level) would lower the chance of that family living in poverty/financial distress along with increasing the chances of the success of their children? shyt, just marrying a man (regardless of income level) actually increases the life expectancy of women.

(all the above assertions are based on population statistics, outliers do exist but shouldnt be the focus as they are the exception not the rule)

 

[Ahadi]

Women of other races do all that as well but why aren't they turning masculine??? 75% of married women HAVE to work. But somehow Black men are supposed to be the only men that have stay at home wives.

He’s talking bullshyt.

If you want change within the community it’s going to be a group effort. There’s no luxury in doing tactics like other groups. Ppl are going to have to pair up by class and get the best deal and work together as a community.

BM can earn as much as we want, but still won’t be respected. That comes down to social programming.

 

[Cloutius Maximus]

Women of other races do all that as well but why aren't they turning masculine??? 75% of married women HAVE to work. But somehow Black men are supposed to be the only men that have stay at home wives.

cuz they bitter about being black, not having to work

 

[Eternally Jaded]

Do you think he is just more conservative with material things and that what was more of an issue for him?
Like, I make more than my girl but she spends much more. I react to her spending because its frivolous to me the way she does it. Not that she spends (get what you like, live your life) but theres other things that money shouldve went to before you spend it on something like that. Then she'll complain about how much something important like house repairs cost and theres the expectation of me to take up the burden of the expense because she fukked her money off. I could pay for it myself and I wouldnt even feel it but the fact that I have to pay more (essentially wasting it) because she wasted hers is bothersome due to her spending and I press her over it.

Could it have been something like that?

This is damn near word for word what I was thinking.

Making the same or similar but one spending significantly more just means one is frugal and one isn't.

I make 65k my girl makes 70k but if she's just on her "put it in the bag" tip and I'm not means we probably don't have the same idea about the value of money.

And yeah, that would be off-putting, especially if you're trying to build or see a future with this person.

Him putting aside little bits for his splurge wants vs the alternative would make the road seem very rocky because you're both driving very differently.

 

[Shadow King]

I don’t know men do it. I just don’t have it in me to be a stay at home dad.

If shorty is making more than me I have to find a way to get my money up.

There's a diifference between "she makes more" and "stay at home dad".

 

[Yehuda]

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[AAKing23]

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