Why are single moms the devil again?

[wickedsm]

People just need to be more sexually responsible period both men and women. People just wanna lay down with anybody and not feel the consequences of it nowadays.



I personally practice what I preach and I am waiting until I find a woman who's marriage material but nowadays it seems to be a losing fight. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. By the time I'm 25 most of these chicks will have had at least one baby by then if not multiple, and will be looking for a dude like me to settle with like I'm supposed to step up and pay for someone else's sexual irresponsibility. fukk that

i know youre a responsible one and not the only one.

responsibility is hard.
its too easy to give into "he makes me feel good" as a woman
or "but i really want to fukk cause im a man"

hell, there have been several threads on here about refusing to wear condoms cause raw sex is "so much better"
and lots of self proclaimed good guys in that thread too...

every child support thread that comes up theres the champions of "legal abortion" i just want to sign away my rights cause im not paying child support
"that bytch should have had an abortion like i told her"

so the woman dont want to take responsibility for choosing the trash guy [cause youre trash for not wanting to take care of your kid]
and the men dont want to take responsibility for fukking bytches they know they dont want babies with

no more premarital sex is the way to ensure these black children are born into a 2 parent home

there will always be prostitution for men to just cum inside someone

 

[wickedsm]

And if you bring it up people will look at you like a villain. It's a very taboo subject, Whenever I bring it up around my female relatives or friends about women needing to held accountable I get shut down with the quickness.


shyt is borderline sacrilegious status.

ive asked this before in another thread
what does this magic "accountability" look like to yall?

is carrying the baby for 9 months raising it for 18 years and feeding clothing and housing him or her not taking accountability?
theres not too many things you can do, even crimes that you can commit that will have you locked into a situation for 18 years

or do you just want women to say "youre right. i made a bad choice of mate. i should have chose better, or i should have waited"
[although the baby is already here now, so big deal for that statement of "accountability"]

should they wear scarlet As or burlap?

i believe a single father whos not with his childs mother who is supporting his child financially and emotionally as well as giving his time is taking accountability
and being responsible for his actions [unsafe sex with a partner he wasnt willing to marry]

so what does "accountability" for the mother look like to yall?

 

[Formerly Black Trash]

Abortion should be more acceptable

 

[wickedsm]

Abortion should be more acceptable

read @Roddy Right post #285 up above

some people are opposed to abortion
some folks cant afford an abortion [cant afford the kid either obviously]
abortion is a medical procedure with health and reproductive risks for women

vasectomies are cheap quick and reversible.
those should be more acceptable

 

[Formerly Black Trash]

read @Roddy Right post #285 up above

some people are opposed to abortion
some folks cant afford an abortion [cant afford the kid either obviously]
abortion is a medical procedure with health and reproductive risks for women

vasectomies are cheap quick and reversible.
those should be more acceptable

MOST of the time chix ain't having an abortion because of moral reasons

And that shyt need to go out the window when u ain't equipped to raise a child

Adoption is also an option too

 

[FTBS]

The point is most black men are not lazy thugs on a corner, most go to school or work and are striving for better but because of this blameless culture and because single motherhood has become the norm a good amount of men who aren't "bad choices" in mates are leaving too. It is what it is. The ones who are staying to raise the children are the moms and that's not because they have to stay because there are more than enough means to giving children up to the state it's because they're doing what needs to be done.

This is a contradiction. That's like saying, the honest people are lying and stealing too . I never said or implied that most black men were lazy thugs. That thought never entered my mind because I know it isn't true. The culture is only blameless if you ain't shyt. If you are upstanding and have morals there is no way that you will not take care of your child no matter what the culture says. There is plenty of blame/shame along with tangible consequences for people of this ilk as well.

 

[Maximus]

While African Americans should encourage marriage, the fact is that single mothers are not the prime reason African Americans have social problems. African Americans had much of the similar social problems when the African American marriage rate was higher than white people's marriage rate several decades ago. As such you morons spending your time talking about single mothers is just a deflection.
When blacks were married they still had high crime rates, high unemployment, etc.

First of all, watch who the fukk you're talking to. Given that you resort to name calling, which means you're an over-emotional fakkit, I'm not going to waste my time preparing a real argument for you.

You imbeciles still haven't figured out that the attack on the Black family was largely tied to economics, as a device used to stop the rapid economic progress Black were making in the post-depression years when family stability was highest.

 

[Maximus]

out of wedlock babies come from irresponsible sex.
clearly being responsible is too much for some folks.
and here we are

How do you suggest we impose such a standard on the prohibition of premarital sex?

 

[AkilinaArina]

This is a contradiction. That's like saying, the honest people are lying and stealing too . I never said or implied that most black men were lazy thugs. That thought never entered my mind because I know it isn't true. The culture is only blameless if you ain't shyt. If you are upstanding and have morals there is no way that you will not take care of your child no matter what the culture says. There is plenty of blame/shame along with tangible consequences for people of this ilk as well.

This is real life, real time, people aren't one lone characteristic "good" people or "bad" people. "Upstanding people" do terrible things all the time ("Good" whites sometimes are racist scumbags because they've created and normalized a culture around racism.). A lot of these men that are leaving have what is needed in order to take care of a child but they don't see it as a must because it isn't made one. It is a norm not to and for the most part people tend to fall in line with the norm. I remember once I was watching 16& pregnant and one of the baby fathers had the nerve to say "you're lucky I'm even here raising the kid most nikkas not doing that" like he was completely absolved of duty and doing her a favor or something. Crazy.

 

[wickedsm]

How do you suggest we impose such a standard on the prohibition of premarital sex?

obviously theres no way to legislate such a thing, people have been having premarital sex forever.
i had said upthread its probably the least realistic but most effective option.

it would be fine with me if adultery laws came back into style
as well as shotgun weddings

depending on these next few elections [both state and national] you can count on a continued assault on roe v wade as well as contraceptive availability
and even more weakening of the social safety net.

premarital sex is gonna have to go out of style at that point....

eta
thats certainly the direction i will be pushing the young women in my life towards
choose better by choosing not to take a chance with a man who wont marry you

 

[FTBS]

This is real life, real time, people aren't one lone characteristic "good" people or "bad" people. "Upstanding people" do terrible things all the time ("Good" whites sometimes are racist scumbags because they've created and normalized a culture around racism.). A lot of these men that are leaving have what is needed in order to take care of a child but they don't see it as a must because it isn't made one. It is a norm not to and for the most part people tend to fall in line with the norm. I remember once I was watching 16& pregnant and one of the baby fathers had the nerve to say "you're lucky I'm even here raising the kid most nikkas not doing that" like he was completely absolved of duty and doing her a favor or something. Crazy.

You aren't a real man if you don't take care of your seed, no matter how you want to try to rationalize it. If you fukk a person that is not a real man, you put yourself in position for the kind of bullshyt that you described and you have no one to blame but yourself. The issue for me here isn't morality as much as it is logic and natural consequences.

 

[AAKing23]

ive asked this before in another thread
what does this magic "accountability" look like to yall?

is carrying the baby for 9 months raising it for 18 years and feeding clothing and housing him or her not taking accountability?
theres not too many things you can do, even crimes that you can commit that will have you locked into a situation for 18 years

or do you just want women to say "youre right. i made a bad choice of mate. i should have chose better, or i should have waited"
[although the baby is already here now, so big deal for that statement of "accountability"]

should they wear scarlet As or burlap?

i believe a single father whos not with his childs mother who is supporting his child financially and emotionally as well as giving his time is taking accountability
and being responsible for his actions [unsafe sex with a partner he wasnt willing to marry]

so what does "accountability" for the mother look like to yall?

For once it would be nice to hear a shift from the repeated narrative of "black men ain't shyt" and how we don't take care of our kids that I've heard for 20+ years of my life.


Black women are just as much to blame in this situation but the widely accepted theme here is usually that its all black men's fault. I don't believe women are being held accountable by being stuck with the children for a number of reasons.


First, I don't believe being blessed with a child and having to take care of them is a punishment. Most women look forward to being a mother and having children and would fight like hell if the father wanted custody of the child.


Secondly, many of these women selfishly use the existence of these children to their own benefit. Whether it be using them as leverage against their father for child support. Or whether women purposely bring children into shytty situations just to collect public assistance and benefits.

Third, the woman just by being the main custodial parent has possession over the child most of the time. Which gives her the ability to paint as nasty as a picture of the father as she wants. Even if she is in the wrong she can plant seeds in the minds of her children and change how they perceive their father which can cause children to harbor negative feelings about their Dad and never build a relationship with him.

 

[wickedsm]

For once it would be nice to hear a shift from the repeated narrative of "black men ain't shyt" and how we don't take care of our kids that I've heard for 20+ years of my life.


Black women are just as much to blame in this situation but the widely accepted theme here is usually that its all black men's fault. I don't believe women are being held accountable by being stuck with the children for a number of reasons.


First, I don't believe being blessed with a child and having to take care of them is a punishment. Most women look forward to being a mother and having children and would fight like hell if the father wanted custody of the child.


Secondly, many of these women selfishly use the existence of these children to their own benefit. Whether it be using them as leverage against their father for child support. Or whether women selfishly bring purposely children into shytty situations just to collect public assistance and benefits.

Third, the woman just by being the main custodial parent has possession over the child most of the time. Which gives her the ability to paint as nasty as a picture of the father as she wants. Even if she is in the wrong she can plant seeds in the minds of her children and change how they perceive their father which can cause children to harbor negative feelings about their Dad and never build a relationship with him.

it sounds like what youre saying overall is that you would like the conversation to focus on both the man and the woman, which is cool. "accountability" wouldnt really be what i would term it.
that seems really like a catch all coli phrase tbh.

i think its a great and necessary conversation to have but each side needs to put down their pitchforks and really speak to the wrongs on both sides. none of this "yeah so and so is wrong but..."


i agree that having a child is not a punishment. it is however hard work [if you are a good parent]
raising a child with or without a mate is obviously much harder than walking away, i think we can all agree on that.

these other issues that you bring up are unique to bad single mothers [bad single mothers use their children as paychecks and alienate their children from their fathers]

not the same thing as all single mothers.

the notion of women living high off the hog on state assistance is just the continuation of the reagan era welfare myth.
nobody is balling off state assistance,

the family court system is changing slowly but surely [although it still needs work] and men who are willing to fight are enjoying physical custody much more often and 50/50 custody is becoming much more common

as far as parental alienation its definately possible, obviously the best preventive measure against that is for the noncustodial parent to be active and present in their childs lives.

thank you for taking the time to respond.


im not of the school of though that "black men aint shyt" or "fathers are uneccessary" or " baby mommas are the devil and singlehandedly ruining the black community"


the children are whats important. truthfully idgaf about the hurt feelings of any grown man or woman who just had to have a nut so bad that now their shyt is all of our problem
i dont think shaming after the fact works or will bring about any change, [you guys say weve been shaming deadbeat dads for the last 40 years and they still exxsist right?]
we need a better way forward

 

[joeychizzle]

Men are equally at fault for making the CONSCIOUS decision to bust raw in em. If you not ready for a goddamn kid, financially or mentally, don't fukking do it
Maybe if she was on the pill or had her tubes tied then yes. But quite a few of these single moms ain't thinkin that far to begin with.

If even ONE of you isn't ready for the consequences of busting raw then DON'T DO IT. It's not like condoms give you cancer

I'll probably get mad hate for this post, but real spit is real spit.

 

[Freedman]

IDC There's this Lil red joint and she's the cutest I've ever seen I just wanna