Why are single moms the devil again?

[Serious]

i agree but that still puts the onus completely on the woman, who then in turn is shamed for not walking away from the direct result of both of their actions.

i actually would suggest that women abstaining from sex is the best option.
[probably not the most realistic] but i completely believe it would be the most effective

birth control isnt 100% effective and men lie. as many self proclaimed "good guys" that we have on here, theres no shortage of "thats that bytches problem" "not my fault if her bc failed"
"she just needs to take care of it/ abort it" "she can make me pay child support but she cant make me be a father/ be involved" "im just tryna fukk, i will tell whatever lie i have to "

sex is great and wonderful, raw sex is great and wonderful. theres potential consequences for both.

and as much gnashing of teeth and wrending of garments that would happen if women stopped having premarital sex , men would get over it or get married.
or there would still always be prostitution and they could pay for having no responsibility at all.

@Matt504


wait wait so am I wrong for being mad if a female gets pregnant, while "supposedly" being on BC

 

[The ADD]

We could improve the black community so much if we just followed the fukking bolded. Women rights activist will jump and down with the above statement saying that this shirks the males of a lot of responsibility and totally dismiss the fact. I realize that it isn't "fair", and we need to hold dudes who this accountable, but that's life sometimes. Ain't shyt dudes always going to be around. If you have more to risk if things go south than the other entity, common sense says you should be a little more selecting and protective of who you sleep. This shyt really applies to anything in life, yet so many women in our community completely let the concept fly over their heads.

I don't have any personal vendetta against single moms, especially one who was in a long relationship or was married and things didn't go right, but the above quoted is a lot of what's wrong with our community.

I'm not disputing your stance but my question would be on what women have to lose.

Generally speaking do guys really care about the individual woman's life. I'm talking about outside the societal impact. If they don't, how can you shrug off the mans role in not supporting the kid?

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

Life's a bytch

 

[Serious]

To put this perspective: I think us and monkeys ( even though I can't be sure) are the only animals on earth that believe in and practice stepchildren. Even in the animal kingdom single motherhood is frown upon. If a lion kills another lion and takes his mate, he kills her children and makes his own. Barbaric yes but nature usually gets it right...

No even close breh....
There's plenty of stepfathers in the animal kingdom, it's actually more common than monogamous relationships

 

[RiffRaff]

I'm not disputing your stance but my question would be on what women have to lose.

Generally speaking do guys really care about the individual woman's life. I'm talking about outside the societal impact. If they don't, how can you shrug off the mans role in not supporting the kid?

That's the thing though, I'm not shrugging off anything. I can't stand deadbeat dad's as much as the next person, and that type of behavior should be shamed and looked down upon without a doubt. My point is though, that there will always be less than stellar men in the world who are willing to live ain't shyt lifestyle. There is literally nothing we can do about this. Women as a whole can better protect themselves from this issue however, by just putting a little thought into their decision making and realize that they have more to lose if this ain't shyt dude gets her pregnant. That's the connections that we seem to miss in the black community. People in poverty this is to be expected, but we have way too many women in our community who came from well-to-do families getting into situations like these like it should be the norm. I can't tell you how many women I've seen around my age bracket (early to mid 20's) who will show off everything about their pregnancy on social media, except a spouse. The disturbing thing is, most of these girls come from two parent households, it's sad really.

The reason this point doesn't get across well is because we have a lot of women on the tip that everything between a man and woman should be equal. So to even have the audacity to state that women should take more responsibility then possibly the man in any sort of situation in the 21st century is considered blasphemous. Which is unfortunate because this is one of those situations that would do them a lot more good than harm in the long run. I don't hate women, single moms, or anything like that, and I certainly don't want to excuse deadbeats of their responsibility, but I just feel if we look at things from a "what do I have to lose" perspective, women could definitely do more to help themselves out.

 

[Kokoro]

and that doesn't change anything that i said. most PEOPLE period are idiots, so what i said was true. don't respond to me again, you'll just be ignored.

Oooh scary, sp00ky

 

[Serious]

This is the best answer.
No more premarital sex.
I can throw my support behind this.

speak for yourself

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

Females hold the power when it comes to sex.Penis & Vagina, GENERALLY, aren't equal.Puzzy is the prize.Look at the gazillion strip clubs, escort sites, or street walkers that create long parades of traffic.

It's nature's way of neutralizing male physical dominance by lacing females with the power of persuasiveness.


Seems that a lot of chicks wanna forfeit that power of persuasiveness/being the gatekeepers to "God's workshop" whenever this subject is brought up.


But at the same time, I understand.Most people in the world are lost and have no sense of value.It's the world they were given.That's why I can't stay mad at the situation.Most of these chicks are victims of life.Never had a chance from the start.

 

[Maximus]

I can't speak for anybody else, but I feel single mothers should be shamed for their behavior. One of the biggest, if not the biggest problem in Black America today, is the near complete breakdown of the nuclear Black family and the eradication of the Black patriarchal structure. It is the main reason why we can't organize and get anything of significance done. It is the main reason why there are no real standards of conduct enforced by the "community" on both genders; it is the main reason why the illegitimacy birthrate is off the charts and continues to get worse producing multiple generations of disfunction.

Single mothers who willingly choose to bring a child into the world by a man who is not committed to them and that they know is in no position to provide for a child are adding to the problem and for that they should be shamed. Society won't do it, so we might as well.

 

[Maximus]

i dont get this notion that its okay to be an aint shyt nikka because women should choose better sex partners.

women should chose better sex partners.

its never okay to be an aint shyt nikka.

when yall try to relate the 2 all the time all it is is excuse making.

It's not okay. These types get shamed all the time by society. Why do you think the term 'deadbeat dad' was invented? Obviously, to shame these kinds of men.

The problem is there is no getting through to them, because after all they're.....not shyt.

Because single motherhood reduces our chance if finding a suitable wife.

Shame is good.

Shame will hopefully convince other women to be smarter and choose not to have out of wedlock children.

Other communities function well because there is a considerable amount of shame laid upon women who choose to have children out of wedlock, hence why those women don't do it.

Shaming is good.

 

[FTBS]

It's a combo of truth plus anger/bitterness.

There is truth in the fact that there is no excuse to be a single mother in 2016, unless your husband died. There are too many means of contraception for sex to= unplanned parenthood if people are taking it as seriously as it should be taken.

"Bu...bu...but the man. "
with the false equivalence.
The man has less to lose generally speaking, therefore its illogical to expect equal levels of caution. Beyond that he isnt shyt to begin with if he is willing to abandon his seed. This is a character flaw...a character flaw that a female should be doing her due dilligence to uncover before she lets him hit...especially raw.

A guy with no kids and something going for himself has zero logical reason to take on the added stress and complexity of a readymade family. So it makes perfect sense for guys to be at the prospect of dealing with a single mother.

Now the bitterness and over the top shyt comes in because a lot of dudes that would never abandon their seed get passed over or friendzoned in favor of nikkas that clearly aint shyt.

 

[Tug life]

I don't have kids so when I meet a chick that does its weird because when I'm in the stage of getting to know her most single mom's go on about how they baby daddy ain't shyt and how their child is the center of the universe. Which is cool but when I'm trying to get to know you and all you talk about is kids is a turn off for me

 

[wickedsm]

speak for yourself

its the only foolproof way
the consensus is that theres clearly aint shyt dudes
and then theres those who are just liars even though they seem okay
[never mind supposedly we women dont have enough logic to choose better or mindread]
waiting till after marriage is a great limitus test as to whether they guy is just saying whatever to get his dikk wet
so no premarital sex
no out of wedlock babies.

numerous times in this thread the brehs have rightfully pointed out that "yeah well the men who aint shyt aint shyt, we vilanize them but women need to choose better"since they will bear the bulk if not all of the responsibility.

waiting for marriage is choosing better. its choosing best.

all this casual sex is not to the benefit of women.

honestly its like you want me and you to go out and gamble but we only gonna spend my money


close up shop completely ladies until youre down that aisle.

 

[The ADD]

its the only foolproof way
the consensus is that theres clearly aint shyt dudes
and then theres those who are just liars even though they seem okay
[never mind supposedly we women dont have enough logic to choose better or mindread]
waiting till after marriage is a great limitus test as to whether they guy is just saying whatever to get his dikk wet
so no premarital sex
no out of wedlock babies.

numerous times in this thread the brehs have rightfully pointed out that "yeah well the men who aint shyt aint shyt, we vilanize them but women need to choose better"since they will bear the bulk if not all of the responsibility.

waiting for marriage is choosing better. its choosing best.

all this casual sex is not to the benefit of women.

honestly its like you want me and you to go out and gamble but we only gonna spend my money


close up shop completely ladies until youre down that aisle.

 

[AkilinaArina]

We're forgetting a key element here, a good amount of these deadbeat dads aren't low life scrubs they are men living in a blameless culture that treats being a lazy bum like its nothing. If he takes care of his kids he deserves a medal, if he doesn't then oh well "most nikkas don't anyway". It's crazy cause I know a lot of guys who are college students, if not then they work and are still deadbeats. Having a father has become this weird privilege, not a right.