Outside of religious circles, the current crop of 30 year olds aren’t really being pressured into marriage tho.
Why do a lot of married men seem so miserable?
- Thread starter ba'al
- Start date
Outside of religious circles, the current crop of 30 year olds aren’t really being pressured into marriage tho.
The BasedFather
Task Force
S/O the happily married brehs
Couldn’t pay me enough money to get married though
Couldn’t pay me enough money to get married though
Chose poorly and did not vet well. Focused on the wrong characteristics or allowed their little head to over-ride their actual brain. Many reasons, but they normally all point to them not picking the right woman to marry or not being mentally prepared for what is required to be a good husband.
You find a wife to marry, you do not seek to make a woman a wife. Meaning, she should already have all of the wife attributes you seek, before you propose to her. You don't expect her to gain after the wedding, what she did not have before the wedding. That also means you need to be ready to be a husband, and already understand what those vows mean and the weight of importance of those vows before you make them. I.E. You also need to be a man of your word, and she needs to be a woman already prepared mentally and socially to be a wife.
So the true key is the Character of both parties in the marriage. If it is lacking in either of you, then misery will follow.
You find a wife to marry, you do not seek to make a woman a wife. Meaning, she should already have all of the wife attributes you seek, before you propose to her. You don't expect her to gain after the wedding, what she did not have before the wedding. That also means you need to be ready to be a husband, and already understand what those vows mean and the weight of importance of those vows before you make them. I.E. You also need to be a man of your word, and she needs to be a woman already prepared mentally and socially to be a wife.
So the true key is the Character of both parties in the marriage. If it is lacking in either of you, then misery will follow.
I have maybe 7 real friends who are married or engaged
K - don’t cheat but used to
T - i think he would if he could but not sure
N - cheats
B - cheats
J - doesn’t cheat
M - cheats
R - don’t think so but wouldn’t be surprised
that’s at least 50% of my homies who cheat or used to on their wives and fiancées lol. I’m the only single one and i don’t cheat when In relationships
Do with that info what you must
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Oldschooler
All Star
Ain't that a bytch...i know brehs in their late 60s and early 70s still working and not because they need the money but because they can't stay with their wife at home. These brehs make over $200k a year for a good chunk of their career and dont live above their means. They got married because that's what people did. They have grandkids but somehow can't stand their wife of 40 years. It's insane to me.You haven't experienced true sadness until you experience walking out to your job's parking lot on the Friday of a long holiday weekend, and see all the married men lngering around the facility because they don't want to go home
Oldschooler
All Star
A lot of married man are miserable because they marry for the wrong things. Also some men are just not husband material. They are big babies. Others can't seem to settle down. This is why I'm a big advocate of not marrying for looks.
All of this is facts! Brehs are just as bad as women when it comes to marrying for outside validation instead of what they truly want. Brehs get the prototype "trophy wife" but then chicks be boring and pillow princesses but then sneak around with the freak that actually makes them feel good and have a connection with.
LISTEN TO THIS MAN
Damn why did they get married?
iunno. same reason every dude gets married i guess...they love their girl, societal pressure, reaching the next milestone in life etc.
i have no doubt any of them love their women...they just wanna fukk more than one and it helps them cope with the bullshyt women do
Been married close to 4 years now, I find it very fun, mainly cause my wife actually listens to me and watches what she says. Took awhile for me to get her straight on respecting me as a man, but! It took just as long for me to improve and work on myself to be a man worth respecting. Honestly I think if you look for a woman that essentially could be like a female version of you, it's a lot easier to grow in the relationship, the development is more streamlined.
Elaborate. So your wife didn't respect you from the jump? What's her ethnicity? PAWG? FBA? Caribbean?
Caribbean, she respected me as a person but because she had a hard time with her dad growing up, and him fearing her meeting someone like him he instilled that hardworking for me myself and I mindset in her, which gave her a lot of abrasiveness towards me. so I had to gradually teach her how to act around me as a man. Like, keeping her voice calm, even during duress (to a fault), not challenging me on everything, being patient with me (variety of things), tempering her emotions with me,
Basically, treat me how you would if you were a man and I had actual leeway to mess you up acting too flagrantly towards me. That's how I can sum it up
Her life is a lot more calm and less anxious now. But that also took me really understanding and learning more about her as a woman.
She sound like a child. You a good dude. When I was teenager and early twenties I would just cursed her out and be done with it. Then if she became a single mom or fell on hard times later in life laugh and roast her.
But now I'm more zen and just indifferent. I ain't doing all that work because I seen broads act like that but get right without instructions for the right dude. Nowadays I just go "no contact"/ghost. If I perceive any games or behavior I don't like. No i'm not talking it out. I want her to keep those negative qualities and use them on the next cat and her Family members. Stay miserable IDC. If I find a easy going chick than I'm cool.
I ain't teaching a adult how to act because imo they will default to their natural behavior eventually. "Uitomy likes it when I do this, and dislike it when I do that" He got on my nerves today so I'm going to do all the goofy shyt he doesn't like. Or "It turns me on when Uitomy puts me in check so I'm gonna do all the shyt he dislike and get on his nerve to get him to check me and put me in my place." Man I ain't doing that goofy shyt.
