Why do so many men lack self-confidence?
- Thread starter Raphaello
- Start date
A lot of men lack accomplishments. I know that sounds harsh but men need to gain some form of accomplishments they can be proud of.
The economy is absolutely brutal for non college educated workers forcing men into low paying, less satisfying work which brings down their self esteem. Now due to the lower economic prospects men aren’t entering relationships which correlates with sex, parenting, etc,etc. Men take pride in being providers and that’s being taken away from them.
The economy is absolutely brutal for non college educated workers forcing men into low paying, less satisfying work which brings down their self esteem. Now due to the lower economic prospects men aren’t entering relationships which correlates with sex, parenting, etc,etc. Men take pride in being providers and that’s being taken away from them.
Spending too much time on social media
We need someone that builds other men up and create a better society, but Coli heads too selfish
Lack of initiative.
LunaticVillage415
All Star
I feel like people nowadays are sold a fantasy lifestyle through entertainment and social media. Everybody now wants to live like a millionaire scammer. Have a closet full of tacky designer and ugly hyped up kicks and a heavily modified car with a loud ass engine. Back in the 90’s, 2000’s and well into the 2010’s, people were more true to themselves. The average person wasn’t a clout chaser. Now, everybody plays this annoying keep up with joneses game. And everybody secretly feels inferior to the next man who has a little bit more than they do. As a result, people feel like they need to look down on people who have less than themselves even though we live in a country where one medical crisis can spell career ruin and homelessness.
It's literally a combination of things, but I would say social media is on the top of the list. Humans in general nowadays tie their self worth towards extrinsic values. They compares themselves to the rich and successful people, and want that quickly without putting in the necessary work. Sometimes it's not even their fault, it's the obstacles in their life that is hard to overcome, but they still comparing themselves.
It's been covered by most replies already
Manhood has sort of lost its meaning in a sense.
It's been dissected to the point where most young men don't really know what it means.
What does it mean to be a man? provide? be decisive? be strong? stoic? build things? lead a family? make a legacy?
There's no rite of passage. There's no markers, just milestones that seem empty.
The world is more capitalistic and there's a certain mold that men have to fit to be considered a "man"
Are u successful? how much do u make? how many nice things do u have? how many women are attracted to you? how big is your place? can you take care of a family by yourself? are u really a man's man?
Worst part is when u get those things, it's cool but it's like ok now what.
Chuck Palahniuk had some good novels with quotes about this:
I don't know my Dad. I mean, I know him, but he left when I was like six years old, married this other woman, had some more kids. He did this like every six years - he goes to a new city and starts a new family."
"fukker's setting up franchises."
Tyler pauses.
"My Dad never went to college, so of course its real important that I go. So I graduate, I call him up long-distance and say, 'now what?' He says, 'get a job'. So, I'm 25, I call again and say, 'now what?' He says, 'I dunno. Get married.'"
"I couldn't get married. I'm a thirty-year-old boy."
"We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need
Manhood has sort of lost its meaning in a sense.
It's been dissected to the point where most young men don't really know what it means.
What does it mean to be a man? provide? be decisive? be strong? stoic? build things? lead a family? make a legacy?
There's no rite of passage. There's no markers, just milestones that seem empty.
The world is more capitalistic and there's a certain mold that men have to fit to be considered a "man"
Are u successful? how much do u make? how many nice things do u have? how many women are attracted to you? how big is your place? can you take care of a family by yourself? are u really a man's man?
Worst part is when u get those things, it's cool but it's like ok now what.
Chuck Palahniuk had some good novels with quotes about this:
We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that....
I don't know my Dad. I mean, I know him, but he left when I was like six years old, married this other woman, had some more kids. He did this like every six years - he goes to a new city and starts a new family."
"fukker's setting up franchises."
Tyler pauses.
"My Dad never went to college, so of course its real important that I go. So I graduate, I call him up long-distance and say, 'now what?' He says, 'get a job'. So, I'm 25, I call again and say, 'now what?' He says, 'I dunno. Get married.'"
"I couldn't get married. I'm a thirty-year-old boy."
"We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need
Raphaello
All Star
This hits hard. What solutions do you propose or is it something later generations will have to solve?
Ozymandeas
Veteran
Prior to the social media age (2010 and before)....or prior to the MeToo age, to be more precise....women felt they were objectified and harassed by men, had to live up to unrealistic beauty standards, made to feel less than, and that the world wasn't inclusive to them. We corrected that for the most part. But, the pendulum swung too far in the other direction. Now men are struggling in the internet/social media/online dating age, having similar feelings that they don't live up to expectations. Aren't tall enough, aren't rich enough, aren't handsome enough, aren't popular enough, don't have the things previous generations had at certain ages. They're publishing stories about how Facebook/IG is affecting young girls but, ignoring how social media affects young men. When you add in economic and political trends (Great Recession, Weak recovery in the 2010s with no wage growth, Student Debt Crisis, Housing costs soaring, Another Recession due to Covid-19, Rising inflation, White Nationalism brewing because cacs are bitter and let's be real here, the Black Manosphere is caused by the same factors, they're just not violent)......its just all a powder keg waiting to explode. We just saw a taste of it on January 6th. Nikkas ain't getting no money, can't buy a house, can't get any bytches, and the carrot they're chasing is moving farther and farther away. Scary times ahead.
You know what, this is a great point. A majority of my cousins grew up in rough neighborhoods (Newark, Irvington, east orange, camden) while I grew up in the suburbs
Mean mugging and being emotionless 24/7 takes a toll on your sanity. That superthugging ain't a normal thing and the Crack Era heads from ages 32 to 62 are basically Vietnam war vets with lifetimes of trauma.
NoirDynosaur
Yurrrrrrrrrr
Like others have said, accomplishing major milestones such as gaining life experience, mastering a skill and be adaptable leads to self confidence.
Having game = confidence. Game transcends past romance and sex. Game is being assertive about your needs and wants as a man. Women need game to secure a man.
The secret is having a "victor mentality" . Overcoming struggles and challenges. Man must enjoy his own company. Man must accept himself but also be open to self improvement.
I dealt with depression couple times in my teenage years, I realized I was comparing myself with others instead of discovering the coolness about myself.
Having game = confidence. Game transcends past romance and sex. Game is being assertive about your needs and wants as a man. Women need game to secure a man.
The secret is having a "victor mentality" . Overcoming struggles and challenges. Man must enjoy his own company. Man must accept himself but also be open to self improvement.
I dealt with depression couple times in my teenage years, I realized I was comparing myself with others instead of discovering the coolness about myself.
Saysumthinfunnymike
VOTE!!!
Men truly need to stop giving a fucc. Social media isn't real.. if you are having confidence issues all the validation you do receive won't do much unless you improve your own mental health. You need hobbies. You need to eat healthy. You need sleep. You should probably go to the gym or at least do something active. You need to read. improve yourself in those areas and it starts to fall in place..
What if you have confidence issues and the only social media you use is the coli? I don't use any social media besides posting here