Why do so many men not take care of their kids?

[Data-Hawk]

once again, i disagree. you dont deserve accolades JUST for showing up, especially when you're doing a piss poor job.

Yup. You are suppose to take care of your child.. But it feels good/proud of yourself when you see your child doing the right things in life because of your influence on them.


sorry just had to add that..lol

 

[Born2BKing]

@Born2BKing I have a family friend who the mum was with the dad for like 12 years, married he left them when we were approaching secondary school. We ain't seen this man since.

So many of my friends I grew up with, I have fuzzy memories of their dad and one day their dad just left. These ain't RayRaye and Tyrone of the street either, this was real black men leaving their wives and kids behind.

I look at videotapes from back in the day and see 'yea that was so and so's dad what happened to him ?' These men sometimes even forget their own kids birthdays.

A lot of men leave their seeds/wives without a single fukk given.

Yeah I see it all the time man. After the divorce, the fathers get ghost and thinking supporting the child is just sending a check. I don't ever think I'll ever understand this logic. Ever man

 

[KinksandCoils]

Really?

That's what all of us should have said?

Even those of us with no children? How do we need to "do better"? We didn't do anything wrong...

You know what I meant by that post. Stop trying to prove a point .

 

[FTBS]

Some nikkas just don't give a fukk . They don't want to accept the responsibility. They see the child as an indefinite money and time siphoning inconvenience and take the "easy" way out, especially considering it was the result of a few minutes of pleasure. I put easy in " " because I don't know how easy it really is letting your seed be raised by a single mom, or even that woman and another man.

Let's not ignore when the BM is a thot and the guy does not want to acknowledge that the baby is his because there is the strong chance it ain't his. No man wants to catch another mans 18 years.

There is no justification for it, woman need to choose who they let creampie them more wisely.

Really didn't need to say anything else. It all comes back to the bolded. There was a time when being a man was all about accountability and accepting responsibility and raising a family and taking care of yourself and your family. Some how shyt has flipped drastically. As long as triffling men continue to be rewarded for being triffling I don't see how this changes.

 

[chief_keef_stan]

lemme keep it 1hunnid real quick.

Lets look at a recent thing I can think of:

Ciara and that nikka future

She knew that nikka had like 7 kids with 7 different baby mamas but thought she would be different

she let that nikka hit raw(really tho some of these women could have a massive warning sign in their face and still do this dum shyt)

nikka probably spit that bullshyt that alot of females believe for some reason had homegirl posting in dresses in magazine shoots like she was actually gonna get married

next thing she know she a single mother and that nikka ran off with some other bytch

I dont usually post in these threads but it is what it is

females gotta do better out here

still aint no excuse for that nikka future nikka boutta go broke just off paying child support

 

[Born2BKing]

with more BW choosing to use legitimate sperm banks, how could y'all still turn around and blame absent fathers?

This thread wasn't about that though. Just start a new thread breh.

 

[Taadow]

You know what I meant by that post.

No ma'am, I don't think I do...

 

[Blackout]

You are missing the point. I have answered the question you asked twice. Why is their only mention of women when they bring up stopping future cases? That is the point. The first thing they hop to is blaming the woman. Men have as much power not to father children they have no intention of caring for, yet they are never addressed.

I live my life making sure I will never be like them an influencing other males to not go the dead beat dad route and I influence women to stop giving opportunity to those men. That is addressing them.

Getting women to not give them opportunity is addressing them. In fact women not giving them opportunity stops them in their tracks and forces them to either step up to the plate of the new standard or stay single and childless for the rest of their lives.

 

[thoushallhustle]

who is to blame for you being a single mother?

Im a single mother? you want me to be a stat so bad. the better question who is to blame for raising you into the dizzy bytch you are today?

 

[Theraflu]

It's not just black people. For the majority of society marriage is nothing more than an excuse to throw and expensive party that you really can't afford. The concept of sticking with a person no matter what for the rest of your life is // to most people.

As far as the bolded goes there is actually some validity there. Before you marry some person you should vet them thoroughly. You should have a solid handle on your husband/wife's character. To many things get either missed or overlooked because people are so caught up in a storybook, some good sex, or just plain thirsty.

Damn right breh, these conversations tend not to lead anywhere because the default deflection is 'well, just get married, if you're not a babymama/having a kid out of wedlock your problem will be solved' which I say is bullshyt and agree, this is a cultural issue (it spans more than the black race) and I don't think all these women getting married automatically will solve it. I honestly can't count how many single mothers I know who were once married lol. So the people saying this are rather naive.

Marriage literally means nothing anymore, infact it might be me but in my office the married people are the thirstiest and most 'on the prowl'. Generally as a society we are more selfish, it's all about us and our needs. Sadly, the whole makeup of the marital unit as it was meant to be is the exact opposite of our current culture so it's no suprise it's not working.

I have no problem with people being irresponsible, wanting to fukk, being selfish, but don't fukking have children then. Also don't get married when you know by month 3 you're already gonna be fukking around etc. Then when the marriage collapses you're actually shocked. Don't be so selfish that you leave your wife and son to run off with some PYT

The victim of this culture are the children. The children growing up in broken homes. It's the children who pay for the adults fukkery.

 

[Kitsune]

There are plenty of unmarried two parent households. I know some unmarried families that are stronger and more together than some married ones. Don't get me wrong, I am pro-marriage (I am actually married), but I just don't think marriage by itself can fix things that require a much deeper and more thorough cultural makeover. The biggest issue is people going around fukking any and everybody AND doing so raw. People actually taking responsibility for their own bodies as well as the well being of their future children would do far more to improve things in this regard than people entering into covenants that they don't understand and aren't fully devoted to.

I think we both understand its a multi-faceted issue, I suggested marriage because its the most immediate solution. I get were your coming, if thats the case then a couple that canotherwise handle the responsibilities and the commitments of a marriage without it being official then I say more power to em

 

[marcuz]

This thread wasn't about that though. Just start a new thread breh.

my bad, lets add more generic "there's no excuse for a man to abandon his seed" comments instead.

 

[filial_piety]

This may not explain everything, but one thing for certain is true...A lot of these men don't even know that they are fathers.

Some of these women are such slores that they aren't exactly sure WHO the daddy is or WHO to test or WHO should be taken to court.

For a lot of these women...if they took the alleged daddy to Family Court...the line would look like the Post Office or the DMV...

Women today are NOTHING like how some were 50+ years ago...women these days are racking up a lottery number of partners....it isn't a coincidence that OOW births and abortion rates are higher than ever.

 

[Raava]

I live my life making sure I will never be like them an influencing other males to not go the dead beat dad route and I influence women to stop giving opportunity to those men.

Getting women to not give them opportunity is addressing them. In fact women not giving them opportunity stops them in their tracks and forces them to either step up to the plate of the new standard or stay single and childless for the rest of their lives.

That's good, but you are doing it again. Deflecting back to only the woman again as a means to stop. It is easier to just put on a condom. The whole point is both parties can do something to stop unwanted children, both.

 

[Theraflu]

and this is exactly what i'm talking about. you're just being more procedural about it, but most BW just want the seed; who cares about where it comes from.

with more BW choosing to use legitimate sperm banks, how could y'all still turn around and blame absent fathers?

Sir, what do women choosing to have kids alone, have ANYTHING to do with kids born to actual fathers