Why Do So Many Women Walk Around W A Chip On Their Shoulder?

[AuntAnniesPretzels]

I already know who the biggest offenders are but I won't say

yup, it is known. Thing is they’re easier to avoid at least where as white bytches are everywhere

 

[jwonder]

It's usually because they're ugly. I don't see fine women acting like that.

Guess you never lived in Miami.

 

[Matt504]

Me personally I try to be polite and show gratitude when someone does something for me. But I learned along time ago some people don’t make that a priority. Ain’t no need in getting salty over something out of your control

I'm the same way, if I hold the door open or do anything nice for a person, I'm doing so because I feel it's the right thing to do. I have no expectations in regards to their response because shyt can go either way. For example, a third wave feminist might become outraged at you holding the door for her.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

I'm always vocally grateful towards anyone who renders acts of kindness, that's how I personally am.

Why are you that way? It's obviously not an innate behavior but something that was learned over time.

The societal norm that deserves pushback is the expectation or entitlement to a kind response for rendering that act of kindness

So why do you engage in this societal norm? The"entitlement" as you label it is born out of the learned behavior that is "personally how you are." You shouldn't say thank you to anyone for anything if you truly believe your point of view. By expressing gratitude you are tacitly supporting this continued expectation and entitlement after future actions.

the reason is because everyone doesn't respond to those acts in equal fashion which is why I encourage people to stop doing those acts if they're doing them with expectations

If your mother bought you a card for your birthday and upon receiving it you threw it in the trash would you be upset at your mother for expecting a different response? Remember, she isn't entitled to gratitude or any specific response. But because she was expecting a different reaction does that make her act any less genuine?

Doing things and not getting the expected outcomes can be harmful to the person doing those things and potentially harmful to the person not expressing their gratitude

Yes, but that can be applied to any facet in life. Should we just curl up like a rolly-poll? Since we're discussing the holding of doors for strangers maybe it's better for those who lack gratitude to learn how to say thank you and be grateful for common decency in a world that is lacking. And we are just discussing the holding of the door here; if the scenario takes a different turn after that act well that would be another discussion.

Speak to women about how they've been called names for not responding in ways that men expect them to.

Yes but we're talking about simple acts such as holding a door and expressing gratitude in the form of a thank you. We aren't talking about sex, dating, or other further interactions.

 

[HarlemHottie]

Speak to women about how they've been called names for not responding in ways that men expect them to.

We have these expectations and when people don’t meet them we feel some type of way

I get that and somewhat agree. But I always discourage women from being outright rude in their response. That man put himself out there. At least recognize that he was trynna be nice. A simple 'No thanks' would suffice, all the extra is unnecessary.

If I offer a man some of my cooking and he's not hungry, I'ma feel some kinda way. It's best if he let me down easy.

 

[RennisDeynolds]

There is really a large social issue of people being rude as hell.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

I'm the same way, if I hold the door open or do anything nice for a person, I'm doing so because I feel it's the right thing to do.

I gather two things from you Matt: one, you do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. And two, when someone extends those courtesies to you, you extend gratitude because you also feel that is the right thing to do. Why then do you feel societal norms should be shifted to accommodate the hostile stance? Because there is a segment of society that engages in non-polite behavior we should come to expect no decency from anyone?

Also, I believe you need to disconnect societal reflex acts of kindness (holding doors, offering a seat to a woman, etc) and their expected reflexive responses (a thank you) from more complex actions and their expected responses such as paying a woman's rent and whatever the payer expects from the payee. Those situations have a lot more moving parts than holding a door for a stranger and the stranger saying thank you. Holding a door for a woman is a societal reflex action for me, and most people honestly, and saying thank you is the reflexive response. No one is going into these situations trying to assess if the person is going to show gratitude for this act, it is expected as it is expected that I perform said act. Your line of thinking holds more weight when we deal with more complex matters.

 

[semicko82]

We live in a every man for himself society.

Those who hold on to a sense of community and common courtesy will get burnt.

I was noticing this a couple of years ago when homeboys and family was straight on some hater shyt

 

[Matt504]

Why are you that way? It's obviously not an innate behavior but something that was learned over time.

It was learned over time like most human behaviors.

So why do you engage in this societal norm? The"entitlement" as you label it is born out of the learned behavior that is "personally how you are." You shouldn't say thank you to anyone for anything if you truly believe your point of view. By expressing gratitude you are tacitly supporting this continued expectation and entitlement after future actions.

My point of view is that people should respond in whichever way they feel is best. I was raised or indoctrinated to respond to acts of kindness by expressing gratitude, I'm also aware that everyone isn't raised the same way which means, the way I might respond to a given situation might be radically different than how someone else might. The idea that everyone should respond the same way to the same situation deserves pushback. I'm

If your mother bought you a card for your birthday and upon receiving it you threw it in the trash would you be upset at your mother for expecting a different response? Remember, she isn't entitled to gratitude or any specific response. But because she was expecting a different reaction does that make her act any less genuine?

If my mother gives me a card and I threw it away, I wouldn't be upset at her if that made her angry. She's my mother and she's largely responsible for indoctrinating me with my set of existing beliefs and throwing away a gift would be an aberration.

Yes, but that can be applied to any facet in life. Should we just curl up like a rolly-poll? Since we're discussing the holding of doors for strangers maybe it's better for those who lack gratitude to learn how to say thank you and be grateful for common decency in a world that is lacking. And we are just discussing the holding of the door here; if the scenario takes a different turn after that act well that would be another discussion.

I personally believe it's better and more realistic to manage what's in our control as opposed to hoping other people become nicer. I have the power to do a better job of managing my expectations of people that I've never met before, I cannot however change the way those very same people interact in relation to other people.

 

[Thanos]

I don't know, being rude requires more energy than just being courteous. It cost you nothing and it goes a long way. This goes for anyone.

You can definitely feel some type of way if someone isn't acting in proper manner but keep in mind, everyone has their shyt they going thru so don't blow up, it might not even be you.

 

[Sccit]

BECAUSE WOMEN WALK AROUND WITH EVIL IN THEM....

WHEN MEN GET POSSESSED BY EVIL, THEY BECOME SERIAL KILLERS, RAPISTS, MURDERERS, ETC.

WOMEN WHO GET POSSESSED BY EVIL JUST ACT LIKE BIITCHES, SO THEIR EVIL IS MORE LOWKEY, WHICH IN TURN MAKES THAT BEHAVIOR MORE ACCEPTED BY THE GENERAL CONSENSUS. THE FACT THAT WE TYPICALLY ACCEPT THE BIITCH IN THEM INSTEAD OF PUTTING THEM IN CHECK CAUSES THEM TO ACT ON IT MORE CONFIDENTLY AS OPPOSED TO TAKIN A LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TRYNA BETTER THEMSELVES.

 

[AquaCityBoy]

Women don't owe you any pleasantries, and they didn't ask you to hold the door open for them.

 

[Matt504]

I gather two things from you Matt: one, you do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. And two, when someone extends those courtesies to you, you extend gratitude because you also feel that is the right thing to do. Why then do you feel societal norms should be shifted to accommodate the hostile stance? Because there is a segment of society that engages in non-polite behavior we should come to expect no decency from anyone?

Also, I believe you need to disconnect societal reflex acts of kindness (holding doors, offering a seat to a woman, etc) and their expected reflexive responses (a thank you) from more complex actions and their expected responses such as paying a woman's rent and whatever the payer expects from the payee. Those situations have a lot more moving parts than holding a door for a stranger and the stranger saying thank you. Holding a door for a woman is a societal reflex action for me, and most people honestly, and saying thank you is the reflexive response. No one is going into these situations trying to assess if the person is going to show gratitude for this act, it is expected as it is expected that I perform said act. Your line of thinking holds more weight when we deal with more complex matters.

I disagree with the assertion that not saying thank you to a person holding your door is somehow hostile. I believe that people should do a better job of managing their expectations. When faced with situations where we don't get the expected outcomes, we should assess our feelings about them, if we're upset or disappointed, we should ask ourselves why and unpack those emotions and attempt to get to the root of them, anything short of that is doing ourselves a disservice. We can't control the behaviors or thoughts of others but we can control ours.

 

[Entropy Fan]

I was noticing this a couple of years ago when homeboys and family was straight on some hater shyt

I should've added no sense of family either. It's quite tragic

 

[skeetsinternal]

Insert "black women" =plat thread