I married a girl from the Dominican Republic. The marriage came about as a result of a complicated string of events. She lived with me for 3 years prior to marriage and for me she was a soft loving person and physically attractive. Her education was basic and now that we are married she has not made any attempt to improve herself. Her written Spanish is embarrassing and she still speaks pidgeon english after more than 8 years together.
She has no understanding of finances and her expectation of me is to pay all expenses and keep her in an upper middle class existence. I have adopted her son who now I found out has an IQ in the mid 80's and at 18 his only interest is in eating and watching movies especially cartoons.
When we go shopping she never looks at price but simply picks up what she wants. While I am busy getting groceries, she is outside picking lottery numbers or lounging in the cosmetics section. Her son is better dressed than I am and he gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it, not as a reward but out of some genetically encoded programming.
He has popcorn to watch the cartoons with and has absolutely no interests or motivation. In summer vacation he watches TV until the early hours and gets up at noon. He has no motivation to get an advanced education and it looks as though i will have a son for life...
As you can imagine intellectual stimulation does not come at the dinner table but through the internet or reading. It is like having two young children at home; her and her son.
I ended up learning a hard lesson in life. If you apply your experience, perspective and values in life, to judge how another person from another culture views life you will invariably be wrong. I felt that she would be forever grateful if I pulled her out of the gutter and graciously allowed her to live like I do.
Wrong! All of this is expected and taken for granted. I feel like a doormat. In terms of priority in our family unit, it is her son, the dogs and finally me.
My job is to be the rice bowl. I am the ATM machine to spew out $ on demand.
The argument I hear from many men is that American women are spoiled and demanding and have no respect for their husbands. My experience is that once you bring a foreign woman into an American lifestyle she will metamorphose in a nanosecond but still maintain her cultural values. In the end it is better to stay with your own culture, the culture you know. They understand and think, eat and live the way you do and in the end there are fewer unpleasant surprises. In my case, I am patient but very aware that the day will come where I will be unable to jump across the cultural abyss that divides us.
"Maybe he has poor social skills thats why Matt had to do that."
''HALF! fukk YOU EDDIE, I WANT HALF!''
