Why do women keep remarking that I’m quiet at work?

[DarkmanX]

I feel like if a young black male isn’t all extra and being the “entertainment” for people he’s automatically labeled “quiet” which is unfair. We can never just sit back and mind our damn business

Thank you!

Been saying & feeling this myself. I dont even live in the states and i feel the same where im @ (Europe).

Same thing if you black and you dont always smile. People always gotta think you angry or ask whats wrong, while
alot of other folks walk around the same and nobody say shyt.

 

[Uitomy]

Breh & Breh Associates got a #MeTooDawg case.

Of course if OP realizes he could potentially smash, case is null and void.

Breh this chick is shaped like a damn walnut I’m not smashing at all

 

[AuntAnniesPretzels]

When it comes down to it, I can see the arguments from both sides.

Yes, we as black people are judged more harshly for being reserved in a work environment if we’re not over the top with our antics.

However, in the corporate world, you will not advance unless you’re friendly and social with your staff. That’s just how the world works. The guy who gets the highest sales/contracts is not necessarily going to get promoted.

The guy who has average sales but is loved by everyone, who keeps the staff motivated and gets involved in all the activities outside of work, will easily progress up the ladder.

We’re Black so there’s already one strike against us. Who do you think they’re going to hire? The quiet reserved black guy who’s the best when it comes to numbers but doesn’t hang out after work for drinks.

Or the white guy who they can relate to more, hang out with and be pals with?

It’s a bitter pill to swallow but that’s the world we live in. Hence why I’m my own boss. I knew I’m not the person to kiss ass and give a fukk about how somesone’s day has been so I never expected to advance far in the corporate world.

Pick your poison.

That middle leastern guy sounds like an a$$hole

Imagine someone with a thick southern running to HR after being asked where he’s from

 

[Zero]

That kind of mentality might work in a warehouse job breh

Smalltalk is super important if you're working an office job. Not just for black people either.

Exactly. Sometimes small talk can lead to big things if you talk to the right people.

But on the Coli, issa conspiracy to turn you into the workplace minstrel or catch a MeToo case

 

[BlackBall]

so I’ve been working at Best Buy for about a month and today my manager remarked “you know you don’t speak much”
Before I’ve worked in a flower shop and an outback steak house and I’ve heard the same thing (varied delivery) about 2-3 times in each of those places. Other men don’t make that remark for the most part, if anything they just joke around with me and I speak up. I don’t really see the point in talking often at work. I don’t get paid much anyway and I’m just part time so talk feels pretty cheap to me in that environment. Not a sociopath tho, but I’d rather keep to myself, easier to focus.
Is this a common thing where you guys work or have worked? Does silence from a man make women uncomfortable? I’m Curious cause women only really ever point out my quietness on the job.

i started anew job 2 months ago and my female boss makes the same remark at least twice a week and im like wtf do you want me to do? bizzare

 

[silk scarfs]

Keep it a rack

I rather work with a nikka that's quiet than a nikka that talk to much

 

[Uitomy]

Exactly. Sometimes small talk can lead to big things if you talk to the right people.

But on the Coli, issa conspiracy to turn you into the workplace minstrel or catch a MeToo case

I make more small talk with people outside of work, most of my photographic opportunities come from people I meet on the street or at functions which are specifically for that purpose, I just don’t see the point of talking much at work, It’s work

 

[Uitomy]

That kind of mentality might work in a warehouse job breh

Smalltalk is super important if you're working an office job. Not just for black people either.

I do that way more with random people on the street and the functions I go to specifically to meet people, also my family is connected to a lot of different successful people, it really just depends on what kind of person you are and your situation. I don’t think I want to work an office job tho. I’m more interested in doing a trade, i bullshyt to much doing desk work that isn’t related to photography or my writing.

 

[Uitomy]

Imagine working a job for at least 8 hours a day and being unable to speak to people...then got the nerve (or lack thereof) to wonder why you're looked at as strange.

Imagine doing this and wonder with a straight face why you can't advance. Be the same silly negros talking about "connections" and "networking" in the next thread too. Closed mouths don't get fed.

And no one is asking you to make a Soul Plane audition tape when you finally decide to speak up either. That's mostly a Coli cornball talking point you nikkas love to regurgitate.

@Barnett114 unsticky that gems with dealing with women thread this instant...how nikkas got gems if they can't even handle the women they see everyday

Why are you pushing this to the extreme, nobody is saying they come into work acting like Nosferatu man, nikkas just don’t like wasting time or words. You acting like we can’t say good morning or we Aren’t willing to converse about events and news, we aren’t crazy, we just trying to be productive seeing as most of us not even that valued in the job market. It’s plenty of other avenues to socialize and it’s common sense that if you wanna progress in a work place then you do that there too, but if you don’t care then nikkas just don’t care.

 

[All Women Are Queens]

I just ignore them.

 

[Uitomy]

Well, I defo wasn't expecting the thread to end up like this. Reading the thread title I really didn't think it was that deep.

Your manager just seems to be a talkative person who just made an observation about you and that was it. "You don't speak up much" is not "you need to talk more and be a source of entertainment for me" or whatever some posters in here thing it means. They just said what they said, end of story- they probably forgot they said it the minute it left their mouth. It's nothing got to do with them having preconceptions about how you're supposed to behave as a black man, it really is not that deep.


You can be as reserved as you like, nobody's denying you that op. But as an introvert bear in mind that extroverts like to try to break people out of there "shells" or whatever but that doesn't mean you have to change. It's a personality thing, not a race thing.

Def isn’t a race thing in my case cause my manager is black, I didnt think it’d be this deep, but at the same time there’s always a tension black people can feel with pretty much any interaction in this world so I can get why some people take it farther, for me I’m just amazed I get asked this question at every job I have, you’d be bugging too if something happened so consistently, in different cities and states from different people.

 

[Buckeye Fever]

Black men are expected to be extroverts and act like

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Imagine working a job for at least 8 hours a day and being unable to speak to people...then got the nerve (or lack thereof) to wonder why you're looked at as strange.

Imagine doing this and wonder with a straight face why you can't advance. Be the same silly negros talking about "connections" and "networking" in the next thread too. Closed mouths don't get fed.

And no one is asking you to make a Soul Plane audition tape when you finally decide to speak up either. That's mostly a Coli cornball talking point you nikkas love to regurgitate.

@Barnett114 unsticky that gems with dealing with women thread this instant...how nikkas got gems if they can't even handle the women they see everyday

This right here. I’m pretty reserved but I’ll be damned if I sit tucked away in my office or cubicle ALL DAY without some social interaction. nikkas sound like servants

“I get paid to work” ass nikkas

 

[invalid]

Yea that's ture Young blood. one must be able to smile and tap once master shines the spot light on you. God forbid it's more then 1 master because you end up realizing your in showbiznees. What's crazy is after the lights go out and they say you a good one you still will be in the same spot you was in when you was entertaining.

What if “master” is black?

I don’t think that your bamboozled imagery would still work. What’s more revealing is that your little quip gives insight into the pitiful way that you think. You still equate white people with being “masters”. I don’t.

Such low level thinking is the mark of a cog for sure because you can’t even see yourself, the black man, as the “master”.

There's more ways to "get far in life" than tapdancing for cacs at work fam

Why quote me and you not read anything that I wrote? This is the first sentence that I posted in this thread.

I’m taking a contrarian position from most posters and will say that this has nothing to do with race.

In what bizarre world do you equate “tapdancing” to having social skills? This has nothing to do with white people and doesn’t just apply to a job. My point to the OP was to fully develop his social capabilities because they can be leveraged in a way that can make up for any technical deficiencies that he may have and still get him ahead. That’s why it’s considered a skill. And skills help you win.

I really do not understand how many brehs can spend innumerable hours developing strategies to win video games but won’t dedicate any modicum of time to develop strategies to get you ahead in real life. Hustle backwards brehs....

 

[BmoreGorilla]

I just realized most of y’all work with mad white folks