Been with my girl for two years and she wants to live together

[Maschine_Man]

does she work? make good money?
if so it could just be a wise financial decsion for you.

If shes not working and/or broke, it will probably be a burden on you and the relationship.

 

[BezO]

Date with the intentions of marriage not to waste each other's time is how I feel. If you don't want a future with me why are we even dealing with each other? After 2 yrs u should be at least willing to live with someone even if Yall don't .

I respect your opinion but recognize that not everyone is the same.

You want to enjoy the benefits of a relationship without any of the sacrifices. Good luck finding a mate that would be down for that

Not sure what you mean. There are sacrafices in all relationships. Those sacrifices don't go away just because you don't want to marry a person. Monogamy & marriage can be separate.

I found them quite often.

Amazin' that so many folks think the world only spins at their speed.

 

[KinksandCoils]

I know. That's why I said me

I respect your opinion but recognize that not everyone is the same.
Not sure what you mean. There are sacrafices in all relationships. Those sacrifices don't go away just because you don't want to marry a person. Monogamy & marriage can be separate.

I found them quite often.

Amazin' that so many folks think the world only spins at their speed.

 

[Uncle Kingpin]

If you're convinced you see marriage in the future I think it's best to live with each other first for a year. If your not 95% convinced you want to marry her in the near future, dont move in. But if you are, by all means move in together. In a rental. With a contingency plan that will allow you to leave if need be, I suggest having enough money to pay any early termination fee if shyt goes crazy.

The biggest reason to live together is that people can portray themselves in a way that isn't really them over short term periods, and you don't truly know a person until you've lived with them. If after 3 months she starts acting crazy, RUN! If after 6 months you notice things aren't right, slowly start making plans to exit. No one can pretend to be something they aren't for a year, they will expose themselves before then. If everything is great after a year, decide whether you want to spend the rest of your years on earth like this. And if you do, start making serious and short term plans to marry her. Because if you don't she will start dropping strong hints and veiled ultimatums, get fed up and leave, and you lose a good woman because of fear of commitment.

Edit - and birth control, birth control, birth control. Don't move in and knock her up, that's usually what comes next when shacking up. You get comfortable, start bussing inside her, and she WILL BE PREGNANT IN LESS THAN A YEAR

 

[Mr.Plan B]

Me and shorty was saving up , when it came to me that I can hold a place down on my own plus if things don't go as planned Im not stuck on papers with somebody that you have to fight with everyday. She will be able to come over any time , but when I need my space she can go back to her ppl pad. In my opinion that what all young ppl should do. That what I did , would go over this chick place for weeks at time smash then eat up her food, watch netflix then dip when I felt like going back home.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

I respect your opinion but recognize that not everyone is the same.
Not sure what you mean. There are sacrafices in all relationships. Those sacrifices don't go away just because you don't want to marry a person. Monogamy & marriage can be separate.

I found them quite often.

Amazin' that so many folks think the world only spins at their speed.

I've said nothing about marriage.

I said building something with each other beyond sex and dates.

When you get into a relationship, do you tell the woman.

"i want you to give yourself only to me, but don't make any plans beyond that"

?

 

[BezO]

I've said nothing about marriage.

I said building something with each other beyond sex and dates.

When you get into a relationship, do you tell the woman.

"i want you to give yourself only to me, but don't make any plans beyond that"

?

Than what sacfrifices are you talkin' about?

A relationship is more than sex & dates... at least the relationships I've been in.

Yes, I've told women on many occasions that I wasn't lookin' to get married. Rarely a problem.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Than what sacfrifices are you talkin' about?

A relationship is more than sex & dates... at least the relationships I've been in.

Biggest sacrifice is considering the other person when you make decisions.

Yes, I've told women on many occasions that I wasn't lookin' to get married. Rarely a problem.

You original post said "why can't people enjoy just spending time together"

And I said that usualy people who engage in monogamous relationships expect more than just "spending time together"

Again I've said nothing about marriage.

Do you tell women that all you want to do is spend time together, and you don't want her to date anyone else, but you don't want the relationship to go anywhere from there?

 

[BezO]

Biggest sacrifice is considering the other person when you make decisions.

Necessary of any workin' relationship. Why do you assume I didn't make that sacrifice?

You original post said "why can't people enjoy just spending time together"

And I said that usualy people who engage in monogamous relationships expect more than just "spending time together"

Again I've said nothing about marriage.

Do you tell women that all you want to do is spend time together, and you don't want her to date anyone else, but you don't want the relationship to go anywhere from there?

I don't know what people "usually" expect. My experience has been different than yours.

I told them I wanted a monogamous relationship but I wasn't interested in marriage. I've never experienced a woman wantin' to live with me during those times, so I never thought to include that.

No, I never told a woman that all I wanted was their time. So no, I never told them I didn't want the relationship to stop there.

 

[Weaver31]

So did you intentionally choose a sorry ass chick to be your fiancé? I can't imagine you saw these types of signs before you pooped the question. Did she just do a complete 180 once you guys moved in together?

She did s complete 180 once I signed for home. Once we moved in, things got worst and she never gave me her amount monthly like I said. I worked my regular job and part time job on weekends and was still struggling. It was awful man. I don't mind working but by me being a business major she made me look like a fool because I planned my budget around her giving me that money. I was gonna pay 70% and I feel that's fair actually more than fair cuz I know some people who split the bills in half. She was argumentative and always had something to say. She the type who is a quick thinker and can argue and debate u on anything.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Necessary of any workin' relationship. Why do you assume I didn't make that sacrifice?

You said all you wanted to do was "spend time together

I don't know what people "usually" expect. My experience has been different than yours.

I told them I wanted a monogamous relationship but I wasn't interested in marriage. I've never experienced a woman wantin' to live with me during those times, so I never thought to include that.

So why did the relationships end?

No, I never told a woman that all I wanted was their time. So no, I never told them I didn't want the relationship to stop there.

So, you mislead every one of them.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

talked about getting an apartment yesterday

NO!
Marriage will be next...in short order.
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

She did s complete 180 once I signed for home. Once we moved in, things got worst and she never gave me her amount monthly like I said. I worked my regular job and part time job on weekends and was still struggling. It was awful man. I don't mind working but by me being a business major she made me look like a fool because I planned my budget around her giving me that money. I was gonna pay 70% and I feel that's fair actually more than fair cuz I know some people who split the bills in half. She was argumentative and always had something to say.

And that's when you put the house up for sale and sell it right out from under her ass.
Send her back where she crawled out of.

 

[PrnzHakeem]

If you willing to move in with her, I hope you also willing to abandon ship if shyt doesn't work out.

Probably best for y'all to get a new space instead of moving into either of y'all current apartment.

 

[Diondon]

I feel like you should only live with a chick if yall like engaged or something