Been with my girl for two years and she wants to live together

[Stacker Pentecost]

my personal rule is I'll never do it until I put a ring on it. Lines tend to get blurred where you'll feel like a married couple when you're really not. I did it after only one year of dating so that's why my situation didn't work out

Getting married before living together <<<<<<<<<<<

Do it OP. You never really know someone until you live with them.

 

[Reginald Noble]

Yup. Next time you get in a argument, she'll be like "get your shyt and get out"

You gonna be looking at her with the "you sure?"

She's gonna be like, "nikka you heard me"

Now you packing your bags while she playing TLC's "No scrubs" hella loud and you looking

....all while she is on the phone texting her new nikka setting up a dikk appointment like and then looking at you with the and then she says "you got 5 minutes breh and you gotta get "

Seems funny but has and will continue to happen.

I told my woman if she ever calls the cops that we might be done for good....I already explained to her what happens to the Man in a domestic altercation and that she will have to beg for me to come back.

Once she makes that call you are not allowed back in your own home until you see a judge and she gets physically and mentally examined. This could take weeks.

If she's crazy enough you can be roused from your sleep with AK's pointed at your dome saying "move slowly out of the bed"

They did it to Elian, CACs pointing the gun recklessly at the child's life they are supposed to be fukking saving. - You think they won't do it to your black ass no questions asked?

 

[Gold]

Getting married before living together <<<<<<<<<<<

Do it OP. You never really know someone until you live with them.

Agreed, but some people can do it and live just fine.
I think I'm the kind of breh who could get an arranged marriage and be fine .




But i was raised in a culture where marriage is all work and no play, so my view of married life has never been about actually enjoying it. I bet if I asked my mom why she married my dad, the word love wouldn't leave her mouth

 

[Blackrogue]

@The Wave don't dap me breh its a crisis

I'm not doing it though but this girl straight came in setting long term plans. I was planning to be a male thot this year and January I was on schedule

 

[Stacker Pentecost]

Agreed, but some people can do it and live just fine.
I think I'm the kind of breh who could get an arranged marriage and be fine .




But i was raised in a culture where marriage is all work and no play, so my view of married life has never been about actually enjoying it. I bet if I asked my mom why she married my dad, the word love wouldn't leave her mouth

 

[Blackrogue]

Agreed, but some people can do it and live just fine.
I think I'm the kind of breh who could get an arranged marriage and be fine .




But i was raised in a culture where marriage is all work and no play, so my view of married life has never been about actually enjoying it. I bet if I asked my mom why she married my dad, the word love wouldn't leave her mouth

my mom was texting me pictures of women from wealthy backgrounds. prime ministers niece and shyt. the first one ( not this one) I just lolled and told her shes not hot.

her excuse was she's made a ton of money and some random will come in with the intention of her family benefitting and sucking of what she built. So she needs a strong woman

 

[Jimi Swagger]

Go for it. But do this.

1. Make sure you can afford the place without her. Put the lease in your name OR have it in her name so you can either tell her to leave or walk away without a hit to your Fico if things fall apart.
2. Make sure takes her birth control and check the pill box or accompany her when getting depo injections
3. Make sure you discuss finances in detail and get things in writing. Again things can fall apart
4. Make sure there is an understanding of the house rules (who is going to do what/make a schedule). If you are OCD and she is the type to leave underwear or petrified dog shyt on the floor, that may be a major problem for you. Also, establish rules if you all are going to have curfews and visitors. Some couples get pissed when someone comes in late. If she is the type to coddle her fukk-up younger brother and let him sleep on the couch, that will be a problem too.

It's a beautiful thing if both parties are well informed and establish boundaries. Saves heartache in the long run. It's basically like having a roommate that you are emotionally/sexually attached to.

 

[Easy-E]

Living with someone who's not your wife...

 

[Bless't]

Moved in with an ex of mine after having known her for 2 months. She moved down to FL with me.

We were together for about 3 years.

Smooth, easy going relationship. Just... fell out of love I suppose.

If you trust your relationship, I think it could work out. But you guys have to be on the same page in regards to marriage/kids and whatnot. Be wise, be attentive and be aware.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

How does she carry herself with her living situation?

Is her place clean and tidy?
Her bills paid righteously on time?
Does she have habits that would conflict with yours if you were around her more?
Etc, etc..

Some folks just move into together sometimes impulsively without putting each other to a litmus test.

This exactly what I did and I did the next bad step and got married after 2 months of living together. It was then I discovered his bad money management, habits, etc.

 

[Weaver31]

Go for it. But do this.

1. Make sure you can afford the place without her. Put the lease in your name OR have it in her name so you can either tell her to leave or walk away without a hit to your Fico if things fall apart.
2. Make sure takes her birth control and check the pill box or accompany her when getting depo injections
3. Make sure you discuss finances in detail and get things in writing. Again things can fall apart
4. Make sure there is an understanding of the house rules (who is going to do what/make a schedule). If you are OCD and she is the type to leave underwear or petrified dog shyt on the floor, that may be a major problem for you. Also, establish rules if you all are going to have curfews and visitors. Some couples get pissed when someone comes in late. If she is the type to coddle her fukk-up younger brother and let him sleep on the couch, that will be a problem too.

It's a beautiful thing if both parties are well informed and establish boundaries. Saves heartache in the long run. It's basically like having a roommate that you are emotionally/sexually attached to.

Man these are some excellent guidelines to follow. Good points about finances, visitors, curfews, etc. Shyt like this is what can make live in relationships unbearable and problematic.

 

[Weaver31]

Living with someone who's not your wife...

Lol my mom call it shackin....she old school and did not like when I did it.

 

[ottorocket]

I'm in a similar predicament. Where you trying to live?
Don't live downtown Dallas if you move in together.

Downtown Dallas is made for single people. Every couple who lives in the city, eventually shares that girl



You be up on the rooftop of the rooftop of the Mosaic watching dimes sit in the hottub sipping margaritas asking you "can you be my personal trainer???"

How much you paying in rent living downtown?

 

[Mowgli]

talked about getting an apartment yesterday

So?

 

[Weaver31]

If you're in your low to mid 20s, I would say wait. If you're in your late 20s and over, and you've been with her for two years, then it might make sense. I would hope that if you've been with her for two years, you two make a good couple. If not, then then you shouldn't even be dating much less moving in together.

Don't let ghost stories stop you if you really want to try it out. Either they moved in with someone too quickly or they weren't a good judge of character to begin with. I don't know how you can date someone for a year or two and not have a good gauge on who someone is. How do you not know if someone is clean or not after two years? Living together or not. How can you not know if someone is sensible with money after two years? Living together or not.

I live with my girlfriend and it's been great. But I'm not an idiot, so I had a good understanding of who I had been dealing with for the two plus years we dated before getting a place together. And it's been smooth sailing.

Peace

Yes u make a good point but some people are excellent liars. They know how to front and cover shyt up. My ex lied to my family and told them she was an assistant administrator to a hospital and she had a degree which wasn't true and she didn't work for over a year. Also inexperience can play a roll as well. Some people seek out people who are vulnerable, desperate, naive, dumbfounded, and gullible. Then if one is in love or lust...they can easily make poor judgment and choices that they normally wouldn't make. And add in pressure from family/friends to move forward and to have kids and get married by a "certain timeline."

U make a point because usually there are red flags before unfavorable situations happen. But we are people and we make mistakes...some just be too costly.