Been with Shorty three years. This weekend she moving in. Gimme some do's and don'ts...

[Born2BKing]

I had three experiences living with men in my life. 1st one was in grad school. I shared a house with three dudes in Canada. 2nd time was with my ex.
3rd time was with a good friend of mine.

All three experiences taught me my triggers. You learn a lot about urself living with others.

My advice:
-Know thyself
-Dont take each other for granted
-Discuss who does what instead of assuming
-Also discuss what you absolutely cannot deal with
-Discuss your expectations and if they aren’t met then discuss that too.
-Dont think your shyt doesn’t stink because you can be irritating to live with just like she could be.
-Respect each other’s boundaries.
-Make sure the living space is big enough for the two of you.
-Have time to be apart and time to be together.
-Do not give up social connections with others to suffocate one another.
-Sometimes you will run out of shyt to say to one another. That’s okay and normal. You don’t have to fill the silence.
-Separate TVs.
-Learn each other’s needs and be honest about them with each other and yourselves.
-Have a good balance of going out and staying in. Also don’t become resentful if either party goes out sometimes without one another.
-Keep other folks outside of your business and relationship. People don’t want you happy. A lot of advice these days is riddled with joy-killing cynicism and bitter agendas. They don’t want your relationship to work b/c if it does, it reflects negatively on some people’s inability to be in one. Take all advice with a grain of salt and keep some shyt private. Not everybody needs to know everything.
-If you gon cheat or think u being cute by being sneaky, it ain’t worth it.
-If she has shown u red flags already, don’t do it. Moving in, IN SPITE of the ass she has shown you is reinforcing bad behavior.

OP, read this because it's gospel.

 

[Rev Leon Lonnie Love]

You can learn a TON by doing that

yep, sometimes you discover those deal breakers
But i'd rather find out sooner than later so yeah spending entire weekends with a girl you've been seeing for a few months is necessary to take a peek into her real world.

Not move in with her like OP is about to do tho

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

snoring

one going to bed before the other

one wanting a fan/diff temperature

blanket hog

side of the bed

cleanliness of bedroom

Snoring is the only dealbreaker here. Everything else can be worked out through this thing called "compromise". If you can't agree on something as simple as a temperature, god bless

 

[MajesticLion]

You learn a lot about urself living with others.

My advice:
-Know thyself
-Dont take each other for granted
-Discuss who does what instead of assuming
-Also discuss what you absolutely cannot deal with
-Discuss your expectations and if they aren’t met then discuss that too.
-Dont think your shyt doesn’t stink because you can be irritating to live with just like she could be.
-Respect each other’s boundaries.
-Make sure the living space is big enough for the two of you.
-Have time to be apart and time to be together.
-Do not give up social connections with others to suffocate one another.
-Sometimes you will run out of shyt to say to one another. That’s okay and normal. You don’t have to fill the silence.
-Separate TVs.
-Learn each other’s needs and be honest about them with each other and yourselves.
-Have a good balance of going out and staying in. Also don’t become resentful if either party goes out sometimes without one another.
-Keep other folks outside of your business and relationship. People don’t want you happy. A lot of advice these days is riddled with joy-killing cynicism and bitter agendas. They don’t want your relationship to work b/c if it does, it reflects negatively on some people’s inability to be in one. Take all advice with a grain of salt and keep some shyt private. Not everybody needs to know everything.
-If you gon cheat or think u being cute by being sneaky, it ain’t worth it.
-If she has shown u red flags already, don’t do it. Moving in, IN SPITE of the ass she has shown you is reinforcing bad behavior.

This is wisdom.

 

[BaltimoreTwilightMarauder]

Don't get on her nerves

She moving in to HIS space.

 

[Ghost Utmost]

Snoring is the only dealbreaker here. Everything else can be worked out through this thing called "compromise". If you can't agree on something as simple as a temperature, god bless

Lets say she's cold natured. Want the thermo at 80 plus blankets

Sure one of you could sweat all night of freeze all night

BUT WHY

Why not let her put it on 100 of she wants and you let the winter wind in while you sleep with no cover?

 

[NobleDrewAli]

She don't need to be up under you but she definately need to be in reach.

And if she rolling with a bunch of hoes doing single shyt?

Issa no. Part time love affair

Of course I’m not saying that she spends the majority of her time away from you. I’m just saying a couple hours here and there doing things that make her happy will be beneficial in the long run.

Trust me...if y’all are spending every moment together, one of y’all will eventually get bored and boredom usually starts the process of finding something or someone new.

 

[Mowgli]

Of course I’m not saying that she spends the majority of her time away from you. I’m just saying a couple hours here and there doing things that make her happy will be beneficial in the long run.

Trust me...if y’all are spending every moment together, one of y’all will eventually get bored and boredom usually starts the process of finding something or someone new.

In reach with approved friends.

Preferably family

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Lets say she's cold natured. Want the thermo at 80 plus blankets

Sure one of you could sweat all night of freeze all night

BUT WHY

Why not let her put it on 100 of she wants and you let the winter wind in while you sleep with no cover?

Is she an amphibian This hypothetical is outlandish to the point of fantasy

Anyway, there are 2 easy fixes for this. 1, she can wear pajamas. 2, there are studies that show lower temperatures are better for sleep. My wife hated me turning the thermostat down at night, but I told her to rock with it for a few nights, and we both slept way better. So now she just layers up

If she's not willing to compromise, try new things or listen to logic/science, you prob shouldn't be with her in the first place

 

[Ghost Utmost]

Is she an amphibian This hypothetical is outlandish to the point of fantasy

Anyway, there are 2 easy fixes for this. 1, she can wear pajamas. 2, there are studies that show lower temperatures are better for sleep. My wife hated me turning the thermostat down at night, but I told her to rock with it for a few nights, and we both slept way better. So now she just layers up

If she's not willing to compromise, try new things or listen to logic/science, you prob shouldn't be with her in the first place

so you forced her into it

Do you

My question is: what is the point?

If you can both have exactly what you want, why not have exactly what you want?

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

so you forced her into it

Do you

My question is: what is the point?

If you can both have exactly what you want, why not have exactly what you want?

What is the point? We are husband and wife, not roommates. To us it's more important to be together than to get what we want individually. The "me first" mentality here is exactly why a lot of brehs should stay single

 

[Ghost Utmost]

What is the point? We are husband and wife, not roommates. To us it's more important to be together than to get what we want individually. The "me first" mentality here is exactly why a lot of brehs should stay single

You mean physically being side by side as much as possible?

Cause when you're sleep you're unconscious

No one is saying that people with their own bedrooms are not allowed to see each other, just gives you a super comfortable corner to retire to when need be.

When people get older they usually migrate to the separate bedroom arrangement. So just wait

 

[phcitywarrior]

IMO cohabitation is a mandatory step to progressing to anything serious. As is an open dialogue on finances. shyt's not all butterflies and cotton candy

I agree with you here. I'd say the discussion on finances should actually happen early on in the relationship. If you believe in marriage, I say save the cohabitation until you're actually married. Shacking up IMHO delays actual marriage. You're essentially married in practice but without the vows.

 

[NobleDrewAli]

In reach with approved friends.

Preferably family

I feel you.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

You mean physically being side by side as much as possible?

Cause when you're sleep you're unconscious

No one is saying that people with their own bedrooms are not allowed to see each other, just gives you a super comfortable corner to retire to when need be.

When people get older they usually migrate to the separate bedroom arrangement. So just wait

It's just nice to sleep with my wife. I'd imagine most people would rather sleep with their spouses than not if they had the choice. We did sleep in separate beds for about a year when my daughter was a newborn

I agree with you here. I'd say the discussion on finances should actually happen early on in the relationship. If you believe in marriage, I say save the cohabitation until you're actually married. Shacking up IMHO delays actual marriage. You're essentially married in practice but without the vows.

I am not understanding why you would want to speed up getting married in the absense of key info like cohabitative compatibility. Wouldn't it make more sense to wait and see how you get along under one roof than rush into a potentially bad decision?