Do Average Men Understand WHY Women Put Them On Child Support?

[It is a mystery]

Too many AVERAGE men seem to think baby mothers file child support for a check, or money to get their hair done. This is ridiculous.


Most women file for child support from AVERAGE men, not for a come up, but because the father is inconsistent, not dependable, and she is just flat out exhausted with arguing with him, and begging him for help.


It's a relief to let the judge set the child support and visitation. So she won't have to argue with him anymore. Even if the judge sets less than what she thought was fair. (I have seen this)


Men get very resentful after this. Why?

Yes, I am aware that their are SOME lazy mothers who do nothing, and just want a check even from average men.


I'm talking about mothers who DO WORK and try to educate themselves, who still have trouble getting help from their child's father.

all those random capitalizations
Ms.Forte

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

And yet you apparently can't explain HOW it's ignorance

The paragraph itself is highlighted ignorance. Why should one parent alone be solely responsible for feeding and housing a child, with no help from the other parent?


Do you know how much a child eats? What formula cost? Diapers? How your one bedroom apartment may have to become a two bedroom? (Rent) bills are higher with kids running around using water and electric. Putting more gas in your car, to drive the kid to school. Pay for schooling expenses. Child care. UNFORSEEN expenses.

Have you ever had to take care of a child every day? Lol



No, one parent should not be solely responsible for I highlighted in your post. The father SHOULD contribute financially to the child's daily eating and extra curricular activities.

 

[Taadow]

Yes. Fathers can have hardships too.
That is different than what I'm describing.

Is it really that different? It's two sides of the same coin.

If the Mother says "Nicca yo' baby needs clothes and shoes"
and he says "Aight imma see what I can do to get that..."
And the next time he comes through he's only got some shoes 'cause that's the best he could do...
that's him coming with "half of what he promised" like you said earlier.

And that's sound reason for her to put papers on him, right?

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

"All mothers should provide Basic food, basic clothes and a roof over the child's head without the father in the picture."









The African AMERICAN community will forever be doomed with this logic.

 

[Taadow]

THEY WANT A CHECK, TO HELP SUPPORT THEIR CHILD.


A CHECK TO HELP WITH THE KID.



A WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO WAJT CONSISTENCY FROM HER CHILDS FATHER.



SHE HAS TO CONSISTENLY GET THAT CHILD UP ABDCTO SCHOOL EVERY DAY.

FEED THE CHILD DAILY.

DO HOMEWORK.

UNFORSEEN EXPENSES.

BILLS ARE HIGHER WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD.


YES, SHE WANTS A CHECK TO HELP WITH A CHILD.


SHES WRONG FOR THAT?

But I thought you said it wasn't about the check...it's that she wants to not argue with him.

Which is it?

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

Is it really that different? It's two sides of the same coin.

If the Mother says "Nicca yo' baby needs clothes and shoes"
and he says "Aight imma see what I can do to get that..."
And the next time he comes through he's only got some shoes 'cause that's the best he could do...
that's him coming with "half of what he promised" like you said earlier.

And that's sound reason for her to put papers on him, right?

No. That's not the same.


Example. (I have a friend going through this)


Her and her child's father agreed to split day care cost. Every time it's time to pay for daycare, he waits till the last minute to say he has 25% of his half of the day care money.


BUT:


He always has on new shoes, and can afford to be at the bar partying with his friends.

Clearly, this man is prioritizing Jordan's, his weed habit, and partying with his friends over his financial esponsibility for his child.



He then flips this on her...

"But you have your hair did".


Yes, she does get her hair did. )a mother has a right to get her hair done without being shamed by her baby father!)
But she also always has her half of the day care money. She's NEVER short on her half of her financial obligation to her child.


She's not asking for him to pay all. She's asking for his fair HALF of the day care money.


He's using her hair being done as why should shouldn't ask him for anything.


In other words... He feels like his baby mother should never do ANYTHING for herself, and only come to him if she's flat broke.

And if she DOES do something for herself, she shouldn't need anything from him.


Even though it's FAIR they split the cost evenly.



Let me guess, you think he's right for that too, dont you?

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

Sometimes, NO, you can't.


Men will lie to a girl, lead her on, and sale her a dream to sleep with a woman.

(You guys have joked about doing this on this very site, as well as the PICK UP ARTIST site.)


Then, when responsibility comes, or the woman believes him and is in love or wants commitment, respect, the man CHANGES and becomes someone else after LYING.

This is true. I've been doing this my whole dating career BUT.... I don't knock these bytches up. Just send them packing and go to the next one

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

But I thought you said it wasn't about the check...it's that she wants to not argue with him.

Which is it?

It's about her no longer wanting to argue with him about what he should be doing for his child.


So, she filed child support to let "the man" regulate what he does, because they can't come to an agreement.


How is this hard to understand?

And why do you guys think it's WRONG for a mother to Want a child support "check" (support) from the father, for a child he helped create?

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

This is true. I've been doing this my whole dating career BUT.... I don't knock these bytches up. Just send them packing and go to the next one

I RESPECT YOU FOR BEING HONEST RIGHT NOW, EVEN THOUGH A LOT OF THESE GUYS ARE PLAYING STUPID RIGHT NOW.


I ALSO APPRECIATE YOU NOT INVOLVING CHILDREN.

 

[Taadow]

No. That's not the same.


Example. (I have a friend going through this)


Her and her child's father agreed to split day care cost. Every time it's time to pay for daycare, he waits till the last minute to say he has 25% of the money.


BUT:


He always has on new shoes, and can afford to be at the bar partying with his friends.

Clearly, this man is prioritizing Jordan's, his weed habit, and partying with his friends over his ginacisl responsibility for his child.



He then flips this on her...

"But you have your hair did".


Yes, she does. But she also has her half of the day care money.


She's not asking for him to pay all. She's asking for his fair HALF aid the day care money. He's using her hair being done as why should shouldn't ask him for anything.


In other words... He feels like his baby mother should never do ANYTHING for herself, and only come to him if she's flat broke.

And if she DOES do something for herself, she shouldn't need anything from him.


Even though it's FAIR they split the cost evenly.



Let me guess, you think he's right for that too, dont you?

Nah, I think he's wrong for that if they had an agreement.

But check this out - why is she making deals with someone whose word she doesn't trust?
That's when it's time for papers.

I'm not saying there should be no such things as child support.
Where i'm disagreeing with you is your reasoning for your title claim.
Every man that has been put on Child Support is not like the man in your story.

 

[YoungFlyGentleman]

Yes...

What ho are you referring to? Where in the OP is there a ho?

The ho is the bytch, the fukk is you even talking about nikka?

 

[Taadow]

It's about her no longer wanting to argue with him about what he should be doing for his child.

And that's dumb, because as long as two different people are parents of the same child there will always, ALWAYS
be arguments about what is done for the child. ALWAYS.

And that will be the case whether they have a strained relationship, or are happily married together.

So, she filed child support to let "the man" regulate what he does, because they can't come to an agreement.

How is this hard to understand?

An agreement is only as good as the parties involved.
So two parties can come to an agreement on anything if both (BOTH) are willing to be fair.

But you and I know that in these situations, that is not the impetus of both parties all the time.

I'll add this: getting "the man" involved is a good way to get the overall picture fucced up for both parties and the child.
I wonder if "average women" understand that's why men (especially black men) don't want to get put on child support.

And why do you guys think it's WRONG for a mother to Want a child support "check" (support) from the father, for a child he helped create?

Again - i'm not saying it's wrong. But i'm saying the system is not set up for the betterment of all parties involved.

 

[Barnett114]

When you consider the stats for OOW children. Black men should be incredibly grateful.

It seems like all you have is stats and not real life examples, I wonder why?

Are you even around black men or black people in general?

 

[YeLovesBoston]

 

[desjardins]

People using a few outlier cases from super rich dudes and trying to use those examples as the reason why child support is bad period is one of the more despicable things going on in our community.

First of all there is a legal limit to how much a court can make you pay. Most of these dudes are broke as shyt and deadbeats. That lil $500 a month you paying is NOT caking any chick up, what is that a week and half of daycare for a baby? If you were a real man it would be no sweat off your back. I would love to see court documents for requested custody hearings from these dudes complaining about child support. I bet there would be zero dockets